Changes can be good and challenging.

I thought I would change this a little and add a blue hue to my blog. I hope you like it. I would love to know what you think of my changes.

I love changes. Well most often, except for the ones that are really challenging.
(I thought I would share a little about me to support the idea of change being fun / good and challenging.)

I remember as a girl I had to get use to changes. My father was in the Air Force and we would travel every 2-4 yrs to different bases. It depended on the area and if there was an available working position for him. In my childhood life, I have moved 4 times, 2 of those were cross country.

Here is a little Crystal history. I was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado at the Air Force Academy. My brother followed 16 months later. After a couple of yrs there we moved to Fairbanks Alaska. I was probably a kindergartner and there began public school. My parents exposed us to Christianity in a Baptist Church aptly named, "Moose Creek Baptist". ( I have just recently reconnected to the couple that shared the gospel w/ my parents. More to come in another post.)

From there we traveled cross country in a trailer and a suburban to New York. Actually it was middle state near Syracuse. We eventually bought a country house on one acre. I loved this home and most the memories related. I learned so much from my experiences on what I call country life. (I will have to share later about the 3 cows that stayed in the pasture next to our property.) We had a garden their and had wild deer, rabbits, snakes, frogs and snapping turtles on occasion. This was the only time when we lived near our maternal grandparents. (Well 4 hours is closer than 3,000 + miles. )

From there we moved back to Alaska. Anchorage instead of Fairbanks. We knew no one, with the exception of some old friends in Fairbanks. We were much older as children go and were now living on a much bigger base and in a more kid friendly neighborhood. We walked to school again and where as in NY we took the bus. (That proved more trial some for me since I can recall missing the bus a few times.) We had more moose interactions. My younger brother was actually chased by a moose on the way home from school. We only lived on base for almost 2 years or little less. Then we moved 20 minutes away to a little town called Eagle River. I was now 10 going on 11 and in the 5th grade.

What I hated most about moving was getting use to new teachers and meeting new students. What I loved about moving was making new friends. Not the same thing. I excelled at meeting people just not so good at having them like me. I was teased a lot as you can tell w/the red hair and all. I guess the freckles didn't help either.

The hardest part about moving was finding a new church. We would attend a church for a while and then a problem or situation would arise and then we would attend somewhere else. I really enjoyed church and that is where I excelled at meeting new friends. The kids at church seemed much more like able and friendlier than the kids at school. Maybe that was the Jesus in them? I really enjoyed the church that we went to after we moved to Eagle River. Actually we may have already been attending. I felt like most of the people were like family. I was even married at that church. I made my mom really mad at me when I came home from my first yr at college. Before I went to college my family began attending another church my senior yr of HS. I didn't really like the preacher or feel like the church was family. It was more of convenience since the church was locally and our other church was in Anchorage. I came home that summer and visited a friend the first Sunday home. Of course my friend was going to my old church in Anchorage and I went along to re-join the congregation I missed so much. While I was away my mom and dad changed churches and my mom was hoping I would give her new church a try. I guess I had my mind made up even before I came home from college.

I guess if we have a choice in what we would like we jump at the chance b/c we know the familiarity. However we do not always get this opportunity when it comes to God. God seems to enjoy or prefer putting us in situations we seem unfamiliar with. Probably b/c he knows we will have to rely on him for guidance and not ourselves or our past experience.

I know that be vulnerable can make us uncomfortable even scared and depressed. Not knowing what to expect can be very terrifying. God knows this and instead of reacting by our fears and worries God says "Trust in Me". I know it can be difficult to trust in what we can not see, but if we can we will be Blessed beyond our imagination.

That is where I am at now since my miscarriage. I am trying to "TRUST in HIM". I am no longer so saddened that I cry my self to sleep. I can't even really work up the tears. I don't think it is b/c my emotions are hardened, but b/c my heart and spirit are at Peace. I know I have to accept what God chooses to do with my life. I am O.K. with God deciding for me what HE feels is Best. I say this not with out greif but with totally and complete FAITH in HIM. God is my ROCK and my SHIELD, I will hold fast to HIM and seek his protection. I am confident that God loves me and has a plan and purpose for me and my life and family. I just am not privilege to what and how he will go about working it out.

One thing I know or one verse I am comforted with is Mathew 6: 25- 34

25. "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
26. "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27. "Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28. "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;
29. "and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30. "Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31. "Therefore do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?'
32. "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
34. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Verses 32 and 33 are the most significant to me. I find comfort in knowing God knows what I need. If I seek his kingdom and His righteousness then all these things will be added. What things? The things I need or the things he wants for me and knows that I need them even when I am unaware of them. I believe we can Trust in the one who has created us. He has known us before birth and has all of our hairs counted. If he has gone to all the work to know those details what else does he know and why shouldn't I Trust Him.