God giveth and God taketh away.

I am sad to share the news of my first miscarriage.

On Friday January 16th I labored for 3+ hrs and birth a very little baby in cased in the sack of amniotic fluid. I was only 18 wks pregnant and or little baby a son was only 14 wks. My husband was by my side the entire time. We were both saddened but comforted through our faith in our Almighty God.

I am physically feeling remarkably well. Physically I am not bleeding much. Sharing the details with my midwife gave me a great deal more peace. Confirming that everything seemed to have passed well. I usually home birth and so she felt confident that I was physically handling everything as normally as one can in this situation.

My faith has been strengthened so much. I know and believe that God has a purpose and plan for my life. I can accept his perfect will for me. I trust in him completely. I rest in his peace and promise of eternity. Knowing that one day I may met and hold my little son.

What is hard to handle is that we waited until Christmas to share our pregnancy news. When we were over the first trimester.(I haven't known but one other women who has had a miscarriage late like mine.) Telling everyone the news was both sad yet comforting since it helps to share the grief. But looking at my other 6 beautiful children and wondering how he would have fit in. Missing the moments I was so much looking forward to. Finally being able to look forward to having an early summer baby opposed to my last 5 being late fall or winter babies. Looking forward to my littlest girl being a big sister and my youngest son having a little brother. Not that it may not happen still in the future, but just not with our "little Zek."

We decided to name him Ezekiel, reminiscent to the Valley of the Dry Bones and how Ezekiel answered God. We read that story that night for our devotional and felt it was just the perfect fit. God asks Ezekiel " son of man, can these bones live?" Ezekiel replies, " O Sovereign Lord, you alone know." God told Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones and say, " Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! The Sovereign Lord says: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know I am the LORD." Ezekiel 37 : 3 - 6.

Ezekiel means, Strength of God, God is strong, whom God will strengthen. Moses means, drawn forth, brought up from the waters or a son. So Ezekiel Moses means, whom God will strengthen, drawn forth, a son.

Being blessed not having this experience before, made me feel slightly immune to the possibility. Now my experience has really opened my eyes and heart to the sensitivity of what so many women deal with. Without the Lord God and his ever flowing peace and love I couldn't possibly find my strength. God has been my strength and my dh has been like an anchor for me to lean on and pull me closer to God. Strangely though, I feel blessed throughout everything.

Your prayers and concerns are so greatly appreciated. The family of God is so amazing and how God uses others to facilitate the precious healing HE gives through is love and peace.

Thank you so much in advance for your kind thoughts and comments.

Lovingly,
Crystal mom to 6 and one waiting in glory.