I hope this is finding everyone adjusting to the New Year well. I know that January is almost over and I have not posted anything in several months. I have been trying to keep my computer time limited. I have not forgotten about all of my friends who read my blog from time to time. I felt it necessary to focus on my family. Through God's guidance I feel he has allowed me to honor him with my decision.
My last post was the announcement of my current pregnancy. I am blessed to share all is going well and today marks the start of my 28 week. Our little one is active and very much healthy and growing. Our family is also doing well. We are so very thankful to the Lord for his faithfulness and blessings each day!
May the love, joy and peace of Jesus guide you and bless you and your family today.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Changes can be good and challenging.
I thought I would change this a little and add a blue hue to my blog. I hope you like it. I would love to know what you think of my changes.
I love changes. Well most often, except for the ones that are really challenging.
(I thought I would share a little about me to support the idea of change being fun / good and challenging.)
I remember as a girl I had to get use to changes. My father was in the Air Force and we would travel every 2-4 yrs to different bases. It depended on the area and if there was an available working position for him. In my childhood life, I have moved 4 times, 2 of those were cross country.
Here is a little Crystal history. I was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado at the Air Force Academy. My brother followed 16 months later. After a couple of yrs there we moved to Fairbanks Alaska. I was probably a kindergartner and there began public school. My parents exposed us to Christianity in a Baptist Church aptly named, "Moose Creek Baptist". ( I have just recently reconnected to the couple that shared the gospel w/ my parents. More to come in another post.)
From there we traveled cross country in a trailer and a suburban to New York. Actually it was middle state near Syracuse. We eventually bought a country house on one acre. I loved this home and most the memories related. I learned so much from my experiences on what I call country life. (I will have to share later about the 3 cows that stayed in the pasture next to our property.) We had a garden their and had wild deer, rabbits, snakes, frogs and snapping turtles on occasion. This was the only time when we lived near our maternal grandparents. (Well 4 hours is closer than 3,000 + miles. )
From there we moved back to Alaska. Anchorage instead of Fairbanks. We knew no one, with the exception of some old friends in Fairbanks. We were much older as children go and were now living on a much bigger base and in a more kid friendly neighborhood. We walked to school again and where as in NY we took the bus. (That proved more trial some for me since I can recall missing the bus a few times.) We had more moose interactions. My younger brother was actually chased by a moose on the way home from school. We only lived on base for almost 2 years or little less. Then we moved 20 minutes away to a little town called Eagle River. I was now 10 going on 11 and in the 5th grade.
What I hated most about moving was getting use to new teachers and meeting new students. What I loved about moving was making new friends. Not the same thing. I excelled at meeting people just not so good at having them like me. I was teased a lot as you can tell w/the red hair and all. I guess the freckles didn't help either.
The hardest part about moving was finding a new church. We would attend a church for a while and then a problem or situation would arise and then we would attend somewhere else. I really enjoyed church and that is where I excelled at meeting new friends. The kids at church seemed much more like able and friendlier than the kids at school. Maybe that was the Jesus in them? I really enjoyed the church that we went to after we moved to Eagle River. Actually we may have already been attending. I felt like most of the people were like family. I was even married at that church. I made my mom really mad at me when I came home from my first yr at college. Before I went to college my family began attending another church my senior yr of HS. I didn't really like the preacher or feel like the church was family. It was more of convenience since the church was locally and our other church was in Anchorage. I came home that summer and visited a friend the first Sunday home. Of course my friend was going to my old church in Anchorage and I went along to re-join the congregation I missed so much. While I was away my mom and dad changed churches and my mom was hoping I would give her new church a try. I guess I had my mind made up even before I came home from college.
I guess if we have a choice in what we would like we jump at the chance b/c we know the familiarity. However we do not always get this opportunity when it comes to God. God seems to enjoy or prefer putting us in situations we seem unfamiliar with. Probably b/c he knows we will have to rely on him for guidance and not ourselves or our past experience.
I know that be vulnerable can make us uncomfortable even scared and depressed. Not knowing what to expect can be very terrifying. God knows this and instead of reacting by our fears and worries God says "Trust in Me". I know it can be difficult to trust in what we can not see, but if we can we will be Blessed beyond our imagination.
That is where I am at now since my miscarriage. I am trying to "TRUST in HIM". I am no longer so saddened that I cry my self to sleep. I can't even really work up the tears. I don't think it is b/c my emotions are hardened, but b/c my heart and spirit are at Peace. I know I have to accept what God chooses to do with my life. I am O.K. with God deciding for me what HE feels is Best. I say this not with out greif but with totally and complete FAITH in HIM. God is my ROCK and my SHIELD, I will hold fast to HIM and seek his protection. I am confident that God loves me and has a plan and purpose for me and my life and family. I just am not privilege to what and how he will go about working it out.
One thing I know or one verse I am comforted with is Mathew 6: 25- 34
25. "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
26. "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27. "Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28. "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;
29. "and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30. "Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31. "Therefore do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?'
32. "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
34. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Verses 32 and 33 are the most significant to me. I find comfort in knowing God knows what I need. If I seek his kingdom and His righteousness then all these things will be added. What things? The things I need or the things he wants for me and knows that I need them even when I am unaware of them. I believe we can Trust in the one who has created us. He has known us before birth and has all of our hairs counted. If he has gone to all the work to know those details what else does he know and why shouldn't I Trust Him.
I love changes. Well most often, except for the ones that are really challenging.
(I thought I would share a little about me to support the idea of change being fun / good and challenging.)
I remember as a girl I had to get use to changes. My father was in the Air Force and we would travel every 2-4 yrs to different bases. It depended on the area and if there was an available working position for him. In my childhood life, I have moved 4 times, 2 of those were cross country.
Here is a little Crystal history. I was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado at the Air Force Academy. My brother followed 16 months later. After a couple of yrs there we moved to Fairbanks Alaska. I was probably a kindergartner and there began public school. My parents exposed us to Christianity in a Baptist Church aptly named, "Moose Creek Baptist". ( I have just recently reconnected to the couple that shared the gospel w/ my parents. More to come in another post.)
From there we traveled cross country in a trailer and a suburban to New York. Actually it was middle state near Syracuse. We eventually bought a country house on one acre. I loved this home and most the memories related. I learned so much from my experiences on what I call country life. (I will have to share later about the 3 cows that stayed in the pasture next to our property.) We had a garden their and had wild deer, rabbits, snakes, frogs and snapping turtles on occasion. This was the only time when we lived near our maternal grandparents. (Well 4 hours is closer than 3,000 + miles. )
From there we moved back to Alaska. Anchorage instead of Fairbanks. We knew no one, with the exception of some old friends in Fairbanks. We were much older as children go and were now living on a much bigger base and in a more kid friendly neighborhood. We walked to school again and where as in NY we took the bus. (That proved more trial some for me since I can recall missing the bus a few times.) We had more moose interactions. My younger brother was actually chased by a moose on the way home from school. We only lived on base for almost 2 years or little less. Then we moved 20 minutes away to a little town called Eagle River. I was now 10 going on 11 and in the 5th grade.
What I hated most about moving was getting use to new teachers and meeting new students. What I loved about moving was making new friends. Not the same thing. I excelled at meeting people just not so good at having them like me. I was teased a lot as you can tell w/the red hair and all. I guess the freckles didn't help either.
The hardest part about moving was finding a new church. We would attend a church for a while and then a problem or situation would arise and then we would attend somewhere else. I really enjoyed church and that is where I excelled at meeting new friends. The kids at church seemed much more like able and friendlier than the kids at school. Maybe that was the Jesus in them? I really enjoyed the church that we went to after we moved to Eagle River. Actually we may have already been attending. I felt like most of the people were like family. I was even married at that church. I made my mom really mad at me when I came home from my first yr at college. Before I went to college my family began attending another church my senior yr of HS. I didn't really like the preacher or feel like the church was family. It was more of convenience since the church was locally and our other church was in Anchorage. I came home that summer and visited a friend the first Sunday home. Of course my friend was going to my old church in Anchorage and I went along to re-join the congregation I missed so much. While I was away my mom and dad changed churches and my mom was hoping I would give her new church a try. I guess I had my mind made up even before I came home from college.
I guess if we have a choice in what we would like we jump at the chance b/c we know the familiarity. However we do not always get this opportunity when it comes to God. God seems to enjoy or prefer putting us in situations we seem unfamiliar with. Probably b/c he knows we will have to rely on him for guidance and not ourselves or our past experience.
I know that be vulnerable can make us uncomfortable even scared and depressed. Not knowing what to expect can be very terrifying. God knows this and instead of reacting by our fears and worries God says "Trust in Me". I know it can be difficult to trust in what we can not see, but if we can we will be Blessed beyond our imagination.
That is where I am at now since my miscarriage. I am trying to "TRUST in HIM". I am no longer so saddened that I cry my self to sleep. I can't even really work up the tears. I don't think it is b/c my emotions are hardened, but b/c my heart and spirit are at Peace. I know I have to accept what God chooses to do with my life. I am O.K. with God deciding for me what HE feels is Best. I say this not with out greif but with totally and complete FAITH in HIM. God is my ROCK and my SHIELD, I will hold fast to HIM and seek his protection. I am confident that God loves me and has a plan and purpose for me and my life and family. I just am not privilege to what and how he will go about working it out.
One thing I know or one verse I am comforted with is Mathew 6: 25- 34
25. "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
26. "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27. "Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28. "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;
29. "and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30. "Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31. "Therefore do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?'
32. "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
34. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Verses 32 and 33 are the most significant to me. I find comfort in knowing God knows what I need. If I seek his kingdom and His righteousness then all these things will be added. What things? The things I need or the things he wants for me and knows that I need them even when I am unaware of them. I believe we can Trust in the one who has created us. He has known us before birth and has all of our hairs counted. If he has gone to all the work to know those details what else does he know and why shouldn't I Trust Him.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Hearts Song.
I just love listening to the Christian radio station. I find so much encouragement for my heart, mind and spirit. It has a way of encouraging , soothing, and uplifting my spirit. On many occasions I have been found praising the Lord while listening to the radio and cleaning the house or cooking a meal. Lately I have noticed the effect on my sons. Especially Ezra who will identify with a song and start singing along to the best of his ability. That is so precious!
Recently though, there has been a song in particular that has really touched my heart. The words are exactly how I feel in this time of my life. The song is by a group of 4 Canadian Christian men, aptly named Downhere. The song was actually written as a prayer, by the co lead singer/ song writer Jason Germain. The song is from the album "The End is the Beginning," and is titled "Here I am".
The second verse really touches me and speaks to where my heart is in the healing and trusting in Jesus. Just a day or so after the miscarriage, I would hear this song on the radio and the tears would start streaming down my checks during this verse. I find so much peace, comfort and encouragement knowing God has all the pieces and knows how they fit together and has a plan and a purpose for ALL of our lives.
The chorus:
Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan,
Here I am
When setbacks and failures, and upset plans
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands
Are You not the closest when it's hardest to stand
I know that you will finish what You began
And these broken parts You will redeem
Become the song that I can sing
Chorus
Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness
And the fear that I'll fail You in the end
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but You can
Chorus
If you have not heard it or would like to you can Google it and see a concert version on You-tube.
I identify with the lyrics b/c of how I feel they relate to my own current state of mind. I have to admit that the Christian music has really influenced my healing and strengthened my heart and mind towards trusting and obeying God and his word. I remembering hearing about undergrads who conducted studies on how music can have or has a healing effect on people. I know that it is important to use caution on what we see and hear b/c it can influence us in unimaginable ways. The thought that what goes in can produce good or bad in us and can influences others as it makes it's way out of us and into the world we live.
Encouraging you to listen and focus your attention on God and things that will build you up and pull you closer to your creator, the Almighty God and Gracious Redeemer Jesus.
What is so inspiring about Christian music, are the messages that the artists convey. This is done not only in music/lyrics but with instrumental talent. The inspiration is actually drawn from thoughts they have during their quiet times with the LORD. These gifted song writers not only receive a blessing from their devotions but also through sharing those intimate moments of God's inspiration with us.
So next time you have a powerful inspiring devotional consider sharing it with someone and maybe you will receive a blessing too. (You don't have to write a song, unless you feel the inspiration to do so).
Recently though, there has been a song in particular that has really touched my heart. The words are exactly how I feel in this time of my life. The song is by a group of 4 Canadian Christian men, aptly named Downhere. The song was actually written as a prayer, by the co lead singer/ song writer Jason Germain. The song is from the album "The End is the Beginning," and is titled "Here I am".
The second verse really touches me and speaks to where my heart is in the healing and trusting in Jesus. Just a day or so after the miscarriage, I would hear this song on the radio and the tears would start streaming down my checks during this verse. I find so much peace, comfort and encouragement knowing God has all the pieces and knows how they fit together and has a plan and a purpose for ALL of our lives.
The chorus:
Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan,
Here I am
When setbacks and failures, and upset plans
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands
Are You not the closest when it's hardest to stand
I know that you will finish what You began
And these broken parts You will redeem
Become the song that I can sing
Chorus
Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness
And the fear that I'll fail You in the end
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but You can
Chorus
If you have not heard it or would like to you can Google it and see a concert version on You-tube.
I identify with the lyrics b/c of how I feel they relate to my own current state of mind. I have to admit that the Christian music has really influenced my healing and strengthened my heart and mind towards trusting and obeying God and his word. I remembering hearing about undergrads who conducted studies on how music can have or has a healing effect on people. I know that it is important to use caution on what we see and hear b/c it can influence us in unimaginable ways. The thought that what goes in can produce good or bad in us and can influences others as it makes it's way out of us and into the world we live.
Encouraging you to listen and focus your attention on God and things that will build you up and pull you closer to your creator, the Almighty God and Gracious Redeemer Jesus.
What is so inspiring about Christian music, are the messages that the artists convey. This is done not only in music/lyrics but with instrumental talent. The inspiration is actually drawn from thoughts they have during their quiet times with the LORD. These gifted song writers not only receive a blessing from their devotions but also through sharing those intimate moments of God's inspiration with us.
So next time you have a powerful inspiring devotional consider sharing it with someone and maybe you will receive a blessing too. (You don't have to write a song, unless you feel the inspiration to do so).
Saturday, January 31, 2009
The Word of God is Healing.
Psalm 39:7
"And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.
Psalm 39:
"Hear my prayer, O Lord, And give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears; For I am a stranger with You, A sojourner, as all my fathers were.
Psalm 85 :9-13
9. Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him, That glory may dwell in our land.
10. Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.
11. Truth shall spring out of the earth, And righteousness shall look down from heaven.
12. Yes, the Lord will give what is good; And our land will yield its increase.
13. Righteousness will go before Him, And shall make His footsteps our pathway.
Ecclesiastes 3:14
I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him.
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 16:33
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.''
Romans 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
8:37
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
Romans 15:13
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
James 3:18
Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Here are just a few verses that have given me comfort and peace. So often why we struggle through our trials is b/c we can not seem to find peace and contentment. What we are looking for is found right before us in God's word. I am so Thankful to have the Bible so close for encouragement and guidance.
I want to apologize for not posting earlier in the month before my miscarriage. I know that some people tend to step away when they struggle through something. I however reach out for encouragement and support. I know that what makes healing possible is seeking help, especially from those who have even possibly been on the road I am currently traveling. One thing I have learned is that experience is a teacher. So if you have encouraged me b/c of your experience or given support through thoughts or through prayer. Thank You.
Healing is not complete, until we surrender to God and trust in HIS timing for everything to be reconciled and restored to his perfect will and plan.
My Prayer:
Thank You Heavenly Father for your love, constant peace and comfort through these tough moments in life. Knowing you are not only close by, but holding us through these difficult trials. Making the healing all the more comforting b/c in you we rest in having hope and victory eternally. Thank You Jesus.
"And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.
Psalm 39:
"Hear my prayer, O Lord, And give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears; For I am a stranger with You, A sojourner, as all my fathers were.
Psalm 85 :9-13
9. Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him, That glory may dwell in our land.
10. Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.
11. Truth shall spring out of the earth, And righteousness shall look down from heaven.
12. Yes, the Lord will give what is good; And our land will yield its increase.
13. Righteousness will go before Him, And shall make His footsteps our pathway.
Ecclesiastes 3:14
I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him.
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 16:33
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.''
Romans 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
8:37
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
Romans 15:13
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
James 3:18
Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Here are just a few verses that have given me comfort and peace. So often why we struggle through our trials is b/c we can not seem to find peace and contentment. What we are looking for is found right before us in God's word. I am so Thankful to have the Bible so close for encouragement and guidance.
I want to apologize for not posting earlier in the month before my miscarriage. I know that some people tend to step away when they struggle through something. I however reach out for encouragement and support. I know that what makes healing possible is seeking help, especially from those who have even possibly been on the road I am currently traveling. One thing I have learned is that experience is a teacher. So if you have encouraged me b/c of your experience or given support through thoughts or through prayer. Thank You.
Healing is not complete, until we surrender to God and trust in HIS timing for everything to be reconciled and restored to his perfect will and plan.
My Prayer:
Thank You Heavenly Father for your love, constant peace and comfort through these tough moments in life. Knowing you are not only close by, but holding us through these difficult trials. Making the healing all the more comforting b/c in you we rest in having hope and victory eternally. Thank You Jesus.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Trusting in God's plan.
Sometimes it is so difficult to understand why or how or what reasons God has for allowing challenges to occur in our lives. It is the human mind that questions reasons we could not even possibly comprehend. I am so glad I do not have the burden of making those decisions for everyone in the world.
Trying to understand the trials and struggles we face can sometimes only lead to more questions. That is unless we look at those trials and struggles the way the Bible shows us.
In James (one of my favorite books in the Bible), it says;
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
There is a miracle that Jesus performs b/c of the disciples inquiry. There was a man who was blind from birth. The disciples asked Jesus for what reason was he born that way or basically "who sinned" him or his parents. Jesus answered them "No one has sinned" but rather he was born blind so that the power of God may be manifested in and through him.
I believe this is an answer many of us can accept. God allows many trials to happen to us or in our lives and it is b/c he wants the Glory. We need to put our focus off of our trials and onto him. I know how hard that is and in the midst of all the questions I can still trust in what he has planned for me.
A week ago I was having some painful contractions which lead to my son's early birth/ miscarriage. I had called my dh home from work so he could be with me and I could lean on him. Before he arrived home I found myself in the bathroom realizing that this was going to happen God's way. I knew at that moment whatever happened, I was not going to falter in my faith. I told God that "He is my God and will always be my God". No wavering. Though I may not know where this path leads, I can trust in my Shepherd who will guide the way.
Putting our trust completely in him, means we have to accept we are not in control. Just like that old hymm "Trust and Obey" ; "Trust and Obey for there is NO other way to be happy in Jesus, then to Trust and Obey. Can I be happy in trusting God in everything and in every detail of my life, Yes!
Trying to understand the trials and struggles we face can sometimes only lead to more questions. That is unless we look at those trials and struggles the way the Bible shows us.
In James (one of my favorite books in the Bible), it says;
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
There is a miracle that Jesus performs b/c of the disciples inquiry. There was a man who was blind from birth. The disciples asked Jesus for what reason was he born that way or basically "who sinned" him or his parents. Jesus answered them "No one has sinned" but rather he was born blind so that the power of God may be manifested in and through him.
I believe this is an answer many of us can accept. God allows many trials to happen to us or in our lives and it is b/c he wants the Glory. We need to put our focus off of our trials and onto him. I know how hard that is and in the midst of all the questions I can still trust in what he has planned for me.
A week ago I was having some painful contractions which lead to my son's early birth/ miscarriage. I had called my dh home from work so he could be with me and I could lean on him. Before he arrived home I found myself in the bathroom realizing that this was going to happen God's way. I knew at that moment whatever happened, I was not going to falter in my faith. I told God that "He is my God and will always be my God". No wavering. Though I may not know where this path leads, I can trust in my Shepherd who will guide the way.
Putting our trust completely in him, means we have to accept we are not in control. Just like that old hymm "Trust and Obey" ; "Trust and Obey for there is NO other way to be happy in Jesus, then to Trust and Obey. Can I be happy in trusting God in everything and in every detail of my life, Yes!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Comfort in the Healing Process.
Yesterday January 21, was a tough day emotionally. I seemed to have more moments of sadness. More tears falling in disappointment. I felt very overwhelmed with my emotions. Yet in the same day I was comforted the most since all this has happened.
Unknowingly an arrangement of flowers arrived and my husband notified me of their presence when he arrived home from work. I looked at the card and just could not contain the tears as they fell from my eyes. Some friends of ours had experienced a similar miscarriage 4 months before us. They were the thoughtful and concerned givers. My heart was so touched by their compassion that I just felt overwhelmed with love and concern.
Also in the same day some other friends who live 35-40 miles away came to town and brought over dinner, a little heartfelt and heartwarming gift and card. Not even aware of their intentions except for visiting. What a blessing it was to see the love and compassion from these dear friends.
It is hard to deal with disappointment. Even harder to feel completely and utterly alone. I am so thankful b/c I have loving christian brothers and sisters who are making my disappointment easier to handle. I am also even more thankful for my dear husband who has been so loving and understanding. He has tried to encourage me with helpful words and thoughts; thoughts that are made to make me smile.
Tonight was no different. My 5 yr old son was going potty after bible time and when everyone else was already asleep. He began having a conversation while in the bathroom. (Before he went to the potty, He overheard me sitting in a chair in his room, crying and praying to God.) He seemed to be really sharing his heart to God. I heard the last phrase or so and asked him what he was saying to God. I was so astounded about his answer. " I was praying to God to give us more babies. I want 4 more brothers and sisters." I asked him if he was sad about little Ezekiel Moses dieing. He said "Yes". I said "that is okay God will help us heal I said." I then took the time to pray with him and encourage him to Trust and believe God. I told him nothing was impossible with God.
I am so thankful to God for seeing me through this difficult time and for giving me our son Othniel. He has been a blessing and has facilitated the healing that God started even. My heart is mending b/c little Othniel has joy and hope and peace in his life. Trying to find the joy and peace in everything. Even and especially in the simple things.
There is a phrase that says, "Joy comes in the morning". I think however it can be thought of that "Joy can come in the mourning." Looking for positive uplifting things can help the mourning process be less bitter and more of a blessing.
I know that God does not promise us a life with out trials or struggles. However he does promise us that HE will not leave us during those times. He is constant and ever present even and especially when we are suffering a disappointment or loss.
I am Thankful for a God that never lets go. I am also Thankful to MY God who has plans for me that I can not see but knows that they are better plans for me than the ones I have for myself. One of my favorite verses is:
Jeremiah 29 :11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans for welfare not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
I know it seems hard to Praise God in the midst of the storm, but the storm does pass and then comes the Rainbow. I am waiting for the Rainbow.
Unknowingly an arrangement of flowers arrived and my husband notified me of their presence when he arrived home from work. I looked at the card and just could not contain the tears as they fell from my eyes. Some friends of ours had experienced a similar miscarriage 4 months before us. They were the thoughtful and concerned givers. My heart was so touched by their compassion that I just felt overwhelmed with love and concern.
Also in the same day some other friends who live 35-40 miles away came to town and brought over dinner, a little heartfelt and heartwarming gift and card. Not even aware of their intentions except for visiting. What a blessing it was to see the love and compassion from these dear friends.
It is hard to deal with disappointment. Even harder to feel completely and utterly alone. I am so thankful b/c I have loving christian brothers and sisters who are making my disappointment easier to handle. I am also even more thankful for my dear husband who has been so loving and understanding. He has tried to encourage me with helpful words and thoughts; thoughts that are made to make me smile.
Tonight was no different. My 5 yr old son was going potty after bible time and when everyone else was already asleep. He began having a conversation while in the bathroom. (Before he went to the potty, He overheard me sitting in a chair in his room, crying and praying to God.) He seemed to be really sharing his heart to God. I heard the last phrase or so and asked him what he was saying to God. I was so astounded about his answer. " I was praying to God to give us more babies. I want 4 more brothers and sisters." I asked him if he was sad about little Ezekiel Moses dieing. He said "Yes". I said "that is okay God will help us heal I said." I then took the time to pray with him and encourage him to Trust and believe God. I told him nothing was impossible with God.
I am so thankful to God for seeing me through this difficult time and for giving me our son Othniel. He has been a blessing and has facilitated the healing that God started even. My heart is mending b/c little Othniel has joy and hope and peace in his life. Trying to find the joy and peace in everything. Even and especially in the simple things.
There is a phrase that says, "Joy comes in the morning". I think however it can be thought of that "Joy can come in the mourning." Looking for positive uplifting things can help the mourning process be less bitter and more of a blessing.
I know that God does not promise us a life with out trials or struggles. However he does promise us that HE will not leave us during those times. He is constant and ever present even and especially when we are suffering a disappointment or loss.
I am Thankful for a God that never lets go. I am also Thankful to MY God who has plans for me that I can not see but knows that they are better plans for me than the ones I have for myself. One of my favorite verses is:
Jeremiah 29 :11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans for welfare not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
I know it seems hard to Praise God in the midst of the storm, but the storm does pass and then comes the Rainbow. I am waiting for the Rainbow.
Monday, January 19, 2009
God giveth and God taketh away.
I am sad to share the news of my first miscarriage.
On Friday January 16th I labored for 3+ hrs and birth a very little baby in cased in the sack of amniotic fluid. I was only 18 wks pregnant and or little baby a son was only 14 wks. My husband was by my side the entire time. We were both saddened but comforted through our faith in our Almighty God.
I am physically feeling remarkably well. Physically I am not bleeding much. Sharing the details with my midwife gave me a great deal more peace. Confirming that everything seemed to have passed well. I usually home birth and so she felt confident that I was physically handling everything as normally as one can in this situation.
My faith has been strengthened so much. I know and believe that God has a purpose and plan for my life. I can accept his perfect will for me. I trust in him completely. I rest in his peace and promise of eternity. Knowing that one day I may met and hold my little son.
What is hard to handle is that we waited until Christmas to share our pregnancy news. When we were over the first trimester.(I haven't known but one other women who has had a miscarriage late like mine.) Telling everyone the news was both sad yet comforting since it helps to share the grief. But looking at my other 6 beautiful children and wondering how he would have fit in. Missing the moments I was so much looking forward to. Finally being able to look forward to having an early summer baby opposed to my last 5 being late fall or winter babies. Looking forward to my littlest girl being a big sister and my youngest son having a little brother. Not that it may not happen still in the future, but just not with our "little Zek."
We decided to name him Ezekiel, reminiscent to the Valley of the Dry Bones and how Ezekiel answered God. We read that story that night for our devotional and felt it was just the perfect fit. God asks Ezekiel " son of man, can these bones live?" Ezekiel replies, " O Sovereign Lord, you alone know." God told Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones and say, " Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! The Sovereign Lord says: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know I am the LORD." Ezekiel 37 : 3 - 6.
Ezekiel means, Strength of God, God is strong, whom God will strengthen. Moses means, drawn forth, brought up from the waters or a son. So Ezekiel Moses means, whom God will strengthen, drawn forth, a son.
Being blessed not having this experience before, made me feel slightly immune to the possibility. Now my experience has really opened my eyes and heart to the sensitivity of what so many women deal with. Without the Lord God and his ever flowing peace and love I couldn't possibly find my strength. God has been my strength and my dh has been like an anchor for me to lean on and pull me closer to God. Strangely though, I feel blessed throughout everything.
Your prayers and concerns are so greatly appreciated. The family of God is so amazing and how God uses others to facilitate the precious healing HE gives through is love and peace.
Thank you so much in advance for your kind thoughts and comments.
Lovingly,
Crystal mom to 6 and one waiting in glory.
On Friday January 16th I labored for 3+ hrs and birth a very little baby in cased in the sack of amniotic fluid. I was only 18 wks pregnant and or little baby a son was only 14 wks. My husband was by my side the entire time. We were both saddened but comforted through our faith in our Almighty God.
I am physically feeling remarkably well. Physically I am not bleeding much. Sharing the details with my midwife gave me a great deal more peace. Confirming that everything seemed to have passed well. I usually home birth and so she felt confident that I was physically handling everything as normally as one can in this situation.
My faith has been strengthened so much. I know and believe that God has a purpose and plan for my life. I can accept his perfect will for me. I trust in him completely. I rest in his peace and promise of eternity. Knowing that one day I may met and hold my little son.
What is hard to handle is that we waited until Christmas to share our pregnancy news. When we were over the first trimester.(I haven't known but one other women who has had a miscarriage late like mine.) Telling everyone the news was both sad yet comforting since it helps to share the grief. But looking at my other 6 beautiful children and wondering how he would have fit in. Missing the moments I was so much looking forward to. Finally being able to look forward to having an early summer baby opposed to my last 5 being late fall or winter babies. Looking forward to my littlest girl being a big sister and my youngest son having a little brother. Not that it may not happen still in the future, but just not with our "little Zek."
We decided to name him Ezekiel, reminiscent to the Valley of the Dry Bones and how Ezekiel answered God. We read that story that night for our devotional and felt it was just the perfect fit. God asks Ezekiel " son of man, can these bones live?" Ezekiel replies, " O Sovereign Lord, you alone know." God told Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones and say, " Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! The Sovereign Lord says: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know I am the LORD." Ezekiel 37 : 3 - 6.
Ezekiel means, Strength of God, God is strong, whom God will strengthen. Moses means, drawn forth, brought up from the waters or a son. So Ezekiel Moses means, whom God will strengthen, drawn forth, a son.
Being blessed not having this experience before, made me feel slightly immune to the possibility. Now my experience has really opened my eyes and heart to the sensitivity of what so many women deal with. Without the Lord God and his ever flowing peace and love I couldn't possibly find my strength. God has been my strength and my dh has been like an anchor for me to lean on and pull me closer to God. Strangely though, I feel blessed throughout everything.
Your prayers and concerns are so greatly appreciated. The family of God is so amazing and how God uses others to facilitate the precious healing HE gives through is love and peace.
Thank you so much in advance for your kind thoughts and comments.
Lovingly,
Crystal mom to 6 and one waiting in glory.
Friday, May 2, 2008
God's Amazing Grace.
It is so wonderful to see God's truths revealed in our children. A while back my children were taught and learned that God NEVER makes mistakes. I feel so blessed to see my children learning and remembering the truths that we are teaching them daily about God. I know that those truths we teach them will be what they use to shape their lives. I am so glad that I have his Word to use to supply them with the tools and truths that they will need to serve and please Him.
I am so thankful to the Lord for his unconditional forgiveness. I know that even as a parent, I still make mistakes. I find comfort in knowing our parent God doesn't. We can trust and rely on his wisdom and guidance. The peace and joy that fills my heart and mind knowing how Great a God we serve. It is so comforting to see how God loves us and shows us his trust by blessing our homes with children to teach and instruct into his Way.
I read from Acts 10 today to my children. It was about Cornelius and Peter. Also how God does not show favoritism. How God wants us to live by his word and share it with those who are interested, without hesitation b/c of what we may think about them. God may have placed us in the situation we are in to serve the right purpose, His purpose. I believe God causes situations and circumstances to rise up for us to participate in his will and purpose. After all, that is why we have been created and chosen to serve God and his will just as Jesus did. Exactly why God has blessed us with children to teach and instruct them to serve him and be steadfast in obeying him and his word.
34. And opening his mouth, Peter said:
"I most certainly understand now that God is not one to show partiality,
35. but in every nation the man who fears Him and does what is right, is welcome to Him.
36. "The word which He sent to the sons of Israel, preaching peace through Jesus Christ (He is Lord of all)
Here is one verse I am going to add to my memorization list. Quite similar to Romans 10:9-10, but easier to remember. I even think my children could learn it.
I just love putting God's word in my mind and heart. It is like a spiritual first aid kit, when we need repair we use his word to heal the wounded areas in us.
43. "Of Him all the prophets bear witness that through His name everyone who believes in Him receives forgiveness of sins."
This is the start of a new month and new habits and routine, so quite possibly a new me! Praise the Lord for second chances and the opportunity to be able to change and become more like him and how He wants us to live. God's Grace amazes me. I see everyday and frequently more so how much Grace he showers on each of us. I am blessed and in awe to be at the receiving end of so much Grace. Thank you Lord for your unconditional love, forgiveness and grace.
I am so thankful to the Lord for his unconditional forgiveness. I know that even as a parent, I still make mistakes. I find comfort in knowing our parent God doesn't. We can trust and rely on his wisdom and guidance. The peace and joy that fills my heart and mind knowing how Great a God we serve. It is so comforting to see how God loves us and shows us his trust by blessing our homes with children to teach and instruct into his Way.
I read from Acts 10 today to my children. It was about Cornelius and Peter. Also how God does not show favoritism. How God wants us to live by his word and share it with those who are interested, without hesitation b/c of what we may think about them. God may have placed us in the situation we are in to serve the right purpose, His purpose. I believe God causes situations and circumstances to rise up for us to participate in his will and purpose. After all, that is why we have been created and chosen to serve God and his will just as Jesus did. Exactly why God has blessed us with children to teach and instruct them to serve him and be steadfast in obeying him and his word.
34. And opening his mouth, Peter said:
"I most certainly understand now that God is not one to show partiality,
35. but in every nation the man who fears Him and does what is right, is welcome to Him.
36. "The word which He sent to the sons of Israel, preaching peace through Jesus Christ (He is Lord of all)
Here is one verse I am going to add to my memorization list. Quite similar to Romans 10:9-10, but easier to remember. I even think my children could learn it.
I just love putting God's word in my mind and heart. It is like a spiritual first aid kit, when we need repair we use his word to heal the wounded areas in us.
43. "Of Him all the prophets bear witness that through His name everyone who believes in Him receives forgiveness of sins."
This is the start of a new month and new habits and routine, so quite possibly a new me! Praise the Lord for second chances and the opportunity to be able to change and become more like him and how He wants us to live. God's Grace amazes me. I see everyday and frequently more so how much Grace he showers on each of us. I am blessed and in awe to be at the receiving end of so much Grace. Thank you Lord for your unconditional love, forgiveness and grace.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Movie Review and Scripture thought.
If you are like me and usually only watch movies especially those you know will have good morale content, then here is a movie you will enjoy. It is called, "Saving Sarah Cain". It is directed by Michael Landon Jr. and is based on a book by Beverly Lewis. It is a story about a young woman who's sister dies and she is the only living relative to or aunt to 5 amish children. It is a beautiful story of how their lives inner twine. If you are at all familiar with the Fox Faith movies, this is one of those movies. (Fox films has a branch of movies geared toward the religiously minded audiences and or those who would like to enjoy a movie with good morale overtones and positive message of faith, hope and love.) Michael Landon Jr. has a major role in directing and occasionally producing these wonderful alternative movies. If you haven't heard of these movies or are interested in seeing what else they have to offer just google fox faith films. You will find that there is lot of options to choose from for the whole family.
Here is a passage out of Luke 15: 3-32 that I have just recently read to the children. It always gets to me though when I think about the second parable and the older brother.
3. So He spoke this parable to them, saying:
4. "What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?
5. "And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
6. "And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, `Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'
7. "I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.
8. "Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and seek diligently until she finds it?
9. "And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, `Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!'
10. "Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.''
(I like the way Jesus leads right into his second important thought, right after he establishes with the prior parable his whole intent "All of Heaven rejoices when a sinner repents.")
11. Then He said: "A certain man had two sons.
12. "And the younger of them said to his father, `Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.' So he divided to them his livelihood.
13. "And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.
14. "But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want.
15. "Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.
16. "And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
17. "But when he came to himself, he said, `How many of my father's hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
18. `I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you,
19. and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.'' '
20. "And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.
21. "And the son said to him, `Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
22. "But the father said to his servants, `Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet.
23. `And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry;
24. `for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to be merry.
25. "Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing.
26. "So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant.
27. "And he said to him, `Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.'
28. "But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him.
29. "So he answered and said to his father, `Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends.
30. `But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.'
31. "And he said to him, `Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours.
32. `It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive, and was lost and is found.' ''
I absolutely love this parable. I know that it is a difficult one for many to understand. I have had the pleasure to study this and hear a Christian college professor's thoughts on this very parable. I think though that for many of us we can see the older brother's side better or easier.
I have to interrupt with a story from my teen days. I was talking with the father of young boy in a youth group that I happened to be visiting with. We were discussing one another's testimonies. (One post of which I have yet to write.) After hearing how he faced many struggles and finally found the Lord and gave his life over to God as a servant and follower of Christ, I was deeply moved. I told him how wonderful a testimony he had and how it was awesome that God saved him out of all he had been involved in, abandoned after his parents died and then taken in by his sister and her boyfriend, and then later being involved in drugs and alcohol. I just saw his testimony as a power work of God. Then I shared my "boring" testimony with him about how I was raised in the church have pretty much followed the right path b/c from early on I was taught and encouraged to do so. He was deeply moved by my testimony and thought how wonderful it was that God saved me from all of what I could have gotten into. Instead he spared or protected me from having to have a "hard life". I always thought how interesting it was that both of us were intrigued with one another's testimonies. I have always appreciate his view on my testimony and thanks to him I have been more grateful to God for giving me a testimony that also shows God amazing power.
I wanted to say that, in reference to the parable and how the younger brother got in so much trouble living a wild life and then being welcomed back home by his father, who was overjoyed to see his son who was gone and in his mind dead and now he was returning and alive. Then also, how the older brother felt when he had been dependable and trustworthy for the father and serving him. All the while the younger brother lived foolishly and returned home to find his father eagerly waiting and willing to throw him a party. I can truly understand the older brother's perspective on the whole loyalty aspect. However- what we fail to see is the jealousy and haughtiness of the older brother. I know that it isn't easy feeling overlooked or unfavored b/c of situations out of your control. I certainly can feel for his need to be approved and affirmed. Which he was actually getting all the while with his father's constant involvement in his daily life.
Later in the day after reading this parable to my son's, my dh gladly put on one of the newest Veggie tales movie, " The land of Haas". (A parody of "The wizard of Oz".) In it was a cleaver story that basically depicts the whole Prodigal son parable. It was great how letting the boys watch that video reinforced what I had read to them earlier.
I always have a struggle with this parable b/c I know what it is like to not feel liked or even favored and especially when in our hearts we feel it was unjust treatment. No matter though how we are treated or how others are rewarded, we should always be happy for others and their success especially when they have been given and received a true gift of Life.
I definitely don't want to be like that older brother. I may be able to understand his feelings, but I would be up for a party for anyone who's life was changed. Simply b/c their father welcomed them after admitting and humbly returning to be a servant. Isn't that though, how each one of us have been to God and Jesus. Substituting God for the father and Jesus as the older brother, (without the attitude). We are the younger brother who comes back after living a vile life not worthy of being called sons and daughters, but instead servants. Thankfully though being welcomed and attending a banquet feast in our honor.
God is so good! Praise the Lord for he has done great things.....Thank you God for being our Father, you are wonderful beyond words.
Here is a passage out of Luke 15: 3-32 that I have just recently read to the children. It always gets to me though when I think about the second parable and the older brother.
3. So He spoke this parable to them, saying:
4. "What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?
5. "And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
6. "And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, `Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'
7. "I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.
8. "Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and seek diligently until she finds it?
9. "And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, `Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!'
10. "Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.''
(I like the way Jesus leads right into his second important thought, right after he establishes with the prior parable his whole intent "All of Heaven rejoices when a sinner repents.")
11. Then He said: "A certain man had two sons.
12. "And the younger of them said to his father, `Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.' So he divided to them his livelihood.
13. "And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.
14. "But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want.
15. "Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.
16. "And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
17. "But when he came to himself, he said, `How many of my father's hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
18. `I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you,
19. and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.'' '
20. "And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.
21. "And the son said to him, `Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
22. "But the father said to his servants, `Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet.
23. `And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry;
24. `for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to be merry.
25. "Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing.
26. "So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant.
27. "And he said to him, `Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.'
28. "But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him.
29. "So he answered and said to his father, `Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends.
30. `But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.'
31. "And he said to him, `Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours.
32. `It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive, and was lost and is found.' ''
I absolutely love this parable. I know that it is a difficult one for many to understand. I have had the pleasure to study this and hear a Christian college professor's thoughts on this very parable. I think though that for many of us we can see the older brother's side better or easier.
I have to interrupt with a story from my teen days. I was talking with the father of young boy in a youth group that I happened to be visiting with. We were discussing one another's testimonies. (One post of which I have yet to write.) After hearing how he faced many struggles and finally found the Lord and gave his life over to God as a servant and follower of Christ, I was deeply moved. I told him how wonderful a testimony he had and how it was awesome that God saved him out of all he had been involved in, abandoned after his parents died and then taken in by his sister and her boyfriend, and then later being involved in drugs and alcohol. I just saw his testimony as a power work of God. Then I shared my "boring" testimony with him about how I was raised in the church have pretty much followed the right path b/c from early on I was taught and encouraged to do so. He was deeply moved by my testimony and thought how wonderful it was that God saved me from all of what I could have gotten into. Instead he spared or protected me from having to have a "hard life". I always thought how interesting it was that both of us were intrigued with one another's testimonies. I have always appreciate his view on my testimony and thanks to him I have been more grateful to God for giving me a testimony that also shows God amazing power.
I wanted to say that, in reference to the parable and how the younger brother got in so much trouble living a wild life and then being welcomed back home by his father, who was overjoyed to see his son who was gone and in his mind dead and now he was returning and alive. Then also, how the older brother felt when he had been dependable and trustworthy for the father and serving him. All the while the younger brother lived foolishly and returned home to find his father eagerly waiting and willing to throw him a party. I can truly understand the older brother's perspective on the whole loyalty aspect. However- what we fail to see is the jealousy and haughtiness of the older brother. I know that it isn't easy feeling overlooked or unfavored b/c of situations out of your control. I certainly can feel for his need to be approved and affirmed. Which he was actually getting all the while with his father's constant involvement in his daily life.
Later in the day after reading this parable to my son's, my dh gladly put on one of the newest Veggie tales movie, " The land of Haas". (A parody of "The wizard of Oz".) In it was a cleaver story that basically depicts the whole Prodigal son parable. It was great how letting the boys watch that video reinforced what I had read to them earlier.
I always have a struggle with this parable b/c I know what it is like to not feel liked or even favored and especially when in our hearts we feel it was unjust treatment. No matter though how we are treated or how others are rewarded, we should always be happy for others and their success especially when they have been given and received a true gift of Life.
I definitely don't want to be like that older brother. I may be able to understand his feelings, but I would be up for a party for anyone who's life was changed. Simply b/c their father welcomed them after admitting and humbly returning to be a servant. Isn't that though, how each one of us have been to God and Jesus. Substituting God for the father and Jesus as the older brother, (without the attitude). We are the younger brother who comes back after living a vile life not worthy of being called sons and daughters, but instead servants. Thankfully though being welcomed and attending a banquet feast in our honor.
God is so good! Praise the Lord for he has done great things.....Thank you God for being our Father, you are wonderful beyond words.
Friday, March 14, 2008
The power and wisdom of the Proverbs. (Part 2)
Today in our bible reading we read Luke 11 & 12 and Proverbs 20. Even though we may have read these same passages many times over, and many years ago it is always refreshing to see how God's word never changes and seems to be just what we need it be in our present situation. It is so good to know that no matter what struggle we face we have the power of God's word to stand on, to defend ourselves with and to cling to when all around us foundations crumble. God's word will never fall or fail to guide us. It is only when we fail to use it or rely on it's power for strengthening our lives and spirits.
Proverbs 11 : 25 & 30
25. The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself.
30. The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise.
Proverbs 12 : 25-28
25. Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.
26. The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.
27. The slothful man does not roast what he took in hunting, but diligence is man's precious possession.
28. In the way of righteousness is life, and in its pathway there is no death.
Proverbs 13: 20-25
20. He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.
21. Evil pursues sinners, but to the righteous, good shall be repaid.
22. A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.
23. Much food is in the fallow ground of the poor, and for lack of justice there is waste.
24. He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
25. The righteous eats to the satisfying of his soul, but the stomach of the wicked shall be in want.
Proverbs 14:1-2 & 25-27
1. Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
2. He who walks in his uprightness fears the Lord, but he who is perverse in his ways despises Him.
25. A true witness delivers souls, but a deceitful witness speaks lies.
26. In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge.
27. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, to avoid the snares of death.
Proverbs 15:1-3
1. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.
3. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.
Proverbs 16:7-9 & 31-33
7. When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
8. Better is a little with righteousness, than vast revenues without justice.
9. A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps
31. The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, if it is found in the way of righteousness.
32. He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
33. The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.
Proverbs 17:3 & 6
3. The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the hearts.
6. Children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father.
Proverbs18: 19-24
19. A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.
20. A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth, and from the produce of his lips he shall be filled.
21. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
22. He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.
23. The poor man uses entreaties, but the rich answers roughly.
24. A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 19: 16-22
16. He who keeps the commandment keeps his soul, but he who is careless of his ways will die.
17. He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, and He will pay back what he has given.
18. Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction.
19. A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; for if you deliver him, you will have to do it again.
20. Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.
21. There are many plans in a man's heart, Nevertheless the Lord's counsel that will stand.
22. What is desired in a man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar.
Proverbs 20:27-30
27. The spirit of a man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all the inner depths of his heart.
28. Mercy and truth preserve the king, and by lovingkindness he upholds his throne.
29. The glory of young men is their strength, and the splendor of old men is their gray head.
30. Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart.
I have just highlighted verses that really spoke to my heart.
I hope you are in a habit of reading God's word daily. If you aren't, try to add a little bit of God's word into your day and make it a habit. You will see how much more energy and peace you have in your physical body.
The absolute power of the Word is so amazing. I feel so renewed and energetic when I make time to allow God to speak to me. I appreciate his correction.
If you think about it the Bible is the Best Self Help Book ever written.
We all know those kinds of books, how to conquer any ailment you might have is all in the book.
Plus the disclaimer, God never fails, nothing is impossible with God, Us + God equals the righteous majority.
Hope you have a very wonderful day and a blessed weekend!
P.S. Not to sound vain, but for awhile I had been greatly concerned about seeing a few gray hairs. Not to worry now, those grays are good, at least that is according to God's word. I just love reading new thoughts that may not have applied to my life the last time I read that passage, but now is sooo applicable.
Proverbs 11 : 25 & 30
25. The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself.
30. The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise.
Proverbs 12 : 25-28
25. Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.
26. The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.
27. The slothful man does not roast what he took in hunting, but diligence is man's precious possession.
28. In the way of righteousness is life, and in its pathway there is no death.
Proverbs 13: 20-25
20. He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.
21. Evil pursues sinners, but to the righteous, good shall be repaid.
22. A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.
23. Much food is in the fallow ground of the poor, and for lack of justice there is waste.
24. He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
25. The righteous eats to the satisfying of his soul, but the stomach of the wicked shall be in want.
Proverbs 14:1-2 & 25-27
1. Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
2. He who walks in his uprightness fears the Lord, but he who is perverse in his ways despises Him.
25. A true witness delivers souls, but a deceitful witness speaks lies.
26. In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge.
27. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, to avoid the snares of death.
Proverbs 15:1-3
1. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.
3. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.
Proverbs 16:7-9 & 31-33
7. When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
8. Better is a little with righteousness, than vast revenues without justice.
9. A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps
31. The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, if it is found in the way of righteousness.
32. He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
33. The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.
Proverbs 17:3 & 6
3. The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the hearts.
6. Children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father.
Proverbs18: 19-24
19. A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.
20. A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth, and from the produce of his lips he shall be filled.
21. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
22. He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.
23. The poor man uses entreaties, but the rich answers roughly.
24. A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 19: 16-22
16. He who keeps the commandment keeps his soul, but he who is careless of his ways will die.
17. He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, and He will pay back what he has given.
18. Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction.
19. A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; for if you deliver him, you will have to do it again.
20. Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.
21. There are many plans in a man's heart, Nevertheless the Lord's counsel that will stand.
22. What is desired in a man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar.
Proverbs 20:27-30
27. The spirit of a man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all the inner depths of his heart.
28. Mercy and truth preserve the king, and by lovingkindness he upholds his throne.
29. The glory of young men is their strength, and the splendor of old men is their gray head.
30. Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart.
I have just highlighted verses that really spoke to my heart.
I hope you are in a habit of reading God's word daily. If you aren't, try to add a little bit of God's word into your day and make it a habit. You will see how much more energy and peace you have in your physical body.
The absolute power of the Word is so amazing. I feel so renewed and energetic when I make time to allow God to speak to me. I appreciate his correction.
If you think about it the Bible is the Best Self Help Book ever written.
We all know those kinds of books, how to conquer any ailment you might have is all in the book.
Plus the disclaimer, God never fails, nothing is impossible with God, Us + God equals the righteous majority.
Hope you have a very wonderful day and a blessed weekend!
P.S. Not to sound vain, but for awhile I had been greatly concerned about seeing a few gray hairs. Not to worry now, those grays are good, at least that is according to God's word. I just love reading new thoughts that may not have applied to my life the last time I read that passage, but now is sooo applicable.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Heavy Heart.
Have you ever had a burden on your heart that seemed so difficult to let go of? Here are a few thoughts that I have concerning my burden, which I have labeled as my "Heavy Heart".
This has not been any easy post for me to write.
A year ago my parents became legally divorced. (I say this from my perspective of what I believe the Bible says to be true, in Mathew 19:6 "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.") My parents were married for 38 yrs. My mom was the one who pursued the divorce. It has been very tough for my dad to handle. A complete life change and at his age, one that he was not willing or wanting to expect. My mom on the other hand has adapted quite well. She is living a life that she is very pleased with. A life without spousal restrictions, where she is in complete control of what she does. Only herself, my sister and some friends to keep her accountable. Although the changes in her life seem to make her appear happier and quite possibly she is, but we learn through Paul's writings that we should be content "No matter" our circumstances. This thought came from a man who spent many nights in a jail cell and probably praising God all the while.
Although I have to admit it is not easy being in situations that challenge your very nature. It is through those challenges though, that we are able to see the merciful hand of God who seems to walk (or even carry at times) us through. I believe God allows those challenges for us to see how amazing and magnificent he is and can be if we only rely on HIM...
Many of us have either heard or know of families that have been divided due to a divorce. It is true about how children bear the weight and burden of the split. Emotionally children have attachment issues and such. Very rarely do we hear about the spiritual concerns. The most common concern is the higher rate of divorce among children of divorced couples. Although the rate of divorce is already high in the church as much so as it is outside the church. Why is that you might say? Primarily due to the lack of living out the word in their daily lives. The hardest thing to understand about divorce is that the two people who love us for some reason can't seem to love each other. The other sad thing about divorce is what it teaches children. Forgiveness isn't important in relationships, just allow bitterness to have it's way and if life gets to hard just give up and forget to have faith in God. With attitudes like that it is easy for children to question how powerful is God anyway. If we can trust Him to heal our broken marriages or anything else for that matter, than how can we trust him to keep his word and return for us someday.
I am like no other child who's parents have been divorced. Even after a year it is still not easy to get use to. I feel stuck at times. Stuck like in between a rock and a hard place. I am close to my
dad b/c he lives a half hour away. With my mom who lives in Texas a relationship is somewhat harder to sustain. Although that is exactly what I struggle with. My desire is to have a close mother/daughter relationship. More to the point though is my desire for her to approve of me and my life.
So while my mom was in town she was going to make an effort to visit with us too. We both did in fact make efforts to visit and spend time together. Not trying to be selfish or pushy I just thankfully accepted whatever time she was willing to give, although my children were so delighted to spend time with her. (Something she wasn't aware of that, and also that they ask to pray for her regularly.)
My heart became even more saddened when I started to realize the major differences in our life styles and choices. I love my mom dearly and desire a close mother- daughter relationship. Knowing all the while that unless things change that desire will go unfulfilled.
It was on her last day she calls to let me know of her leaving and we kind words for the first 10 minutes. Then I allowed my flesh to seize the moment and I begin to say things that I felt were true, but consequently were hurtful and unkind. It was towards the end of our conversation that I noticed what our major issue/road block is in not having a close relationship. We both struggle with the attitude that our convictions are true and yet we look at each other and see a life not worthy of Christ or not fulfilling our own preconceived ideas. Knowing my approval was not towards her decision, she still looked for it. Funny thing, that while she was here I was looking for her approval on my life and my convictions.
Which leads me to some questions. How can two people believe to be living lives based on convictions from God, yet their lives are so opposite. Which one is right? Is it even acceptable to judge the others convictions as being from God? What is our guide in doing so? How do we love a person who seems to have no respect for how we are living, especially when we consider to be living a righteous life? How do we even continue to try to have a friendship or even a relationship with someone who's view on life is opposite of our own? When we feel our foundations are directly opposing one another's?
I will go ahead and try to answer some of my own rhetoric questions. The answer is the only way we can be sure we are a believer is by reading and living the Bible. I would say the one who is putting to practice what they are reading out of the Bible. Yes it is acceptable. In fact we are assured that we will find or be able to notice other believers by their love, fruits and actions.
The Bible should always be our guide. We are to do the same thing Jesus did while he was being crucified on the cross. Have plenty of forgiveness, even as the soldiers were mocking him Jesus continued to show love and forgiveness.
Lately I have been singing a new/old song to my sons. It is old b/c I use to sing it, but knew to them b/c they are just now learning it. It is : The wise man and the foolish man. One builds his house on the firm foundation. The other builds his house on the sand. If you are not building on firm foundation than your house will crash on it's sinking sand foundation.
Luke 46-49
46. "But why do you call Me `Lord, Lord,' and do not do the things which I say? 47. "Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like:
48. "He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.
49. "But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.''
I was reading to my children the other day and was refreshed and reminded what Jesus said of "Who his family, mother and brothers really are". Luke 8: 20-21
20. And it was told Him by some, who said, "Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see You.''
21. But He answered and said to them, "My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.''
If you would like to be praying for our relationship to be where God wants it to be. Believing that God knows everything and exactly what we need. I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you Lord God for meeting my needs.
This has not been any easy post for me to write.
A year ago my parents became legally divorced. (I say this from my perspective of what I believe the Bible says to be true, in Mathew 19:6 "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.") My parents were married for 38 yrs. My mom was the one who pursued the divorce. It has been very tough for my dad to handle. A complete life change and at his age, one that he was not willing or wanting to expect. My mom on the other hand has adapted quite well. She is living a life that she is very pleased with. A life without spousal restrictions, where she is in complete control of what she does. Only herself, my sister and some friends to keep her accountable. Although the changes in her life seem to make her appear happier and quite possibly she is, but we learn through Paul's writings that we should be content "No matter" our circumstances. This thought came from a man who spent many nights in a jail cell and probably praising God all the while.
Although I have to admit it is not easy being in situations that challenge your very nature. It is through those challenges though, that we are able to see the merciful hand of God who seems to walk (or even carry at times) us through. I believe God allows those challenges for us to see how amazing and magnificent he is and can be if we only rely on HIM...
Many of us have either heard or know of families that have been divided due to a divorce. It is true about how children bear the weight and burden of the split. Emotionally children have attachment issues and such. Very rarely do we hear about the spiritual concerns. The most common concern is the higher rate of divorce among children of divorced couples. Although the rate of divorce is already high in the church as much so as it is outside the church. Why is that you might say? Primarily due to the lack of living out the word in their daily lives. The hardest thing to understand about divorce is that the two people who love us for some reason can't seem to love each other. The other sad thing about divorce is what it teaches children. Forgiveness isn't important in relationships, just allow bitterness to have it's way and if life gets to hard just give up and forget to have faith in God. With attitudes like that it is easy for children to question how powerful is God anyway. If we can trust Him to heal our broken marriages or anything else for that matter, than how can we trust him to keep his word and return for us someday.
I am like no other child who's parents have been divorced. Even after a year it is still not easy to get use to. I feel stuck at times. Stuck like in between a rock and a hard place. I am close to my
dad b/c he lives a half hour away. With my mom who lives in Texas a relationship is somewhat harder to sustain. Although that is exactly what I struggle with. My desire is to have a close mother/daughter relationship. More to the point though is my desire for her to approve of me and my life.
So while my mom was in town she was going to make an effort to visit with us too. We both did in fact make efforts to visit and spend time together. Not trying to be selfish or pushy I just thankfully accepted whatever time she was willing to give, although my children were so delighted to spend time with her. (Something she wasn't aware of that, and also that they ask to pray for her regularly.)
My heart became even more saddened when I started to realize the major differences in our life styles and choices. I love my mom dearly and desire a close mother- daughter relationship. Knowing all the while that unless things change that desire will go unfulfilled.
It was on her last day she calls to let me know of her leaving and we kind words for the first 10 minutes. Then I allowed my flesh to seize the moment and I begin to say things that I felt were true, but consequently were hurtful and unkind. It was towards the end of our conversation that I noticed what our major issue/road block is in not having a close relationship. We both struggle with the attitude that our convictions are true and yet we look at each other and see a life not worthy of Christ or not fulfilling our own preconceived ideas. Knowing my approval was not towards her decision, she still looked for it. Funny thing, that while she was here I was looking for her approval on my life and my convictions.
Which leads me to some questions. How can two people believe to be living lives based on convictions from God, yet their lives are so opposite. Which one is right? Is it even acceptable to judge the others convictions as being from God? What is our guide in doing so? How do we love a person who seems to have no respect for how we are living, especially when we consider to be living a righteous life? How do we even continue to try to have a friendship or even a relationship with someone who's view on life is opposite of our own? When we feel our foundations are directly opposing one another's?
I will go ahead and try to answer some of my own rhetoric questions. The answer is the only way we can be sure we are a believer is by reading and living the Bible. I would say the one who is putting to practice what they are reading out of the Bible. Yes it is acceptable. In fact we are assured that we will find or be able to notice other believers by their love, fruits and actions.
The Bible should always be our guide. We are to do the same thing Jesus did while he was being crucified on the cross. Have plenty of forgiveness, even as the soldiers were mocking him Jesus continued to show love and forgiveness.
Lately I have been singing a new/old song to my sons. It is old b/c I use to sing it, but knew to them b/c they are just now learning it. It is : The wise man and the foolish man. One builds his house on the firm foundation. The other builds his house on the sand. If you are not building on firm foundation than your house will crash on it's sinking sand foundation.
Luke 46-49
46. "But why do you call Me `Lord, Lord,' and do not do the things which I say? 47. "Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like:
48. "He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.
49. "But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.''
I was reading to my children the other day and was refreshed and reminded what Jesus said of "Who his family, mother and brothers really are". Luke 8: 20-21
20. And it was told Him by some, who said, "Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see You.''
21. But He answered and said to them, "My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.''
If you would like to be praying for our relationship to be where God wants it to be. Believing that God knows everything and exactly what we need. I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you Lord God for meeting my needs.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Heavy Heart.
Have you ever had a burden on your heart that seemed so difficult to let go of? Here are a few thoughts that I have concerning my burden, which I have labeled as my "Heavy Heart".
This has not been any easy post for me to write.
A year ago my parents became legally divorced. (I say this from my perspective of what I believe the Bible says to be true, in Mathew 19:6 "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.") My parents were married for 38 yrs. My mom was the one who pursued the divorce. It has been very tough for my dad to handle. A complete life change and at his age, one that he was not willing or wanting to expect. My mom on the other hand has adapted quite well. She is living a life that she is very pleased with. A life without spousal restrictions, where she is in complete control of what she does. Only herself, my sister and some friends to keep her accountable. Although the changes in her life seem to make her appear happier and quite possibly she is, but we learn through Paul's writings that we should be content "No matter" our circumstances. This thought came from a man who spent many nights in a jail cell and probably praising God all the while.
Although I have to admit it is not easy being in situations that challenge your very nature. It is through those challenges though, that we are able to see the merciful hand of God who seems to walk (or even carry at times) us through. I believe God allows those challenges for us to see how amazing and magnificent he is and can be if we only rely on HIM...
Many of us have either heard or know of families that have been divided due to a divorce. It is true about how children bear the weight and burden of the split. Emotionally children have attachment issues and such. Very rarely do we hear about the spiritual concerns. The most common concern is the higher rate of divorce among children of divorced couples. Although the rate of divorce is already high in the church as much so as it is outside the church. Why is that you might say? Primarily due to the lack of living out the word in their daily lives. The hardest thing to understand about divorce is that the two people who love us for some reason can't seem to love each other. The other sad thing about divorce is what it teaches children. Forgiveness isn't important in relationships, just allow bitterness to have it's way and if life gets to hard just give up and forget to have faith in God. With attitudes like that it is easy for children to question how powerful is God anyway. If we can trust Him to heal our broken marriages or anything else for that matter, than how can we trust him to keep his word and return for us someday.
I am like no other child who's parents have been divorced. Even after a year it is still not easy to get use to. I feel stuck at times. Stuck like in between a rock and a hard place. I am close to my
dad b/c he lives a half hour away. With my mom who lives in Texas a relationship is somewhat harder to sustain. Although that is exactly what I struggle with. My desire is to have a close mother/daughter relationship. More to the point though is my desire for her to approve of me and my life.
So while my mom was in town she was going to make an effort to visit with us too. We both did in fact make efforts to visit and spend time together. Not trying to be selfish or pushy I just thankfully accepted whatever time she was willing to give, although my children were so delighted to spend time with her. (Something she wasn't aware of that, and also that they ask to pray for her regularly.)
My heart became even more saddened when I started to realize the major differences in our life styles and choices. I love my mom dearly and desire a close mother- daughter relationship. Knowing all the while that unless things change that desire will go unfulfilled.
It was on her last day she calls to let me know of her leaving and we kind words for the first 10 minutes. Then I allowed my flesh to seize the moment and I begin to say things that I felt were true, but consequently were hurtful and unkind. It was towards the end of our conversation that I noticed what our major issue/road block is in not having a close relationship. We both struggle with the attitude that our convictions are true and yet we look at each other and see a life not worthy of Christ or not fulfilling our own preconceived ideas. Knowing my approval was not towards her decision, she still looked for it. Funny thing, that while she was here I was looking for her approval on my life and my convictions.
Which leads me to some questions. How can two people believe to be living lives based on convictions from God, yet their lives are so opposite. Which one is right? Is it even acceptable to judge the others convictions as being from God? What is our guide in doing so? How do we love a person who seems to have no respect for how we are living, especially when we consider to be living a righteous life? How do we even continue to try to have a friendship or even a relationship with someone who's view on life is opposite of our own? When we feel our foundations are directly opposing one another's?
I will go ahead and try to answer some of my own rhetoric questions. The answer is the only way we can be sure we are a believer is by reading and living the Bible. I would say the one who is putting to practice what they are reading out of the Bible. Yes it is acceptable. In fact we are assured that we will find or be able to notice other believers by their love, fruits and actions.
The Bible should always be our guide. We are to do the same thing Jesus did while he was being crucified on the cross. Have plenty of forgiveness, even as the soldiers were mocking him Jesus continued to show love and forgiveness.
Lately I have been singing a new/old song to my sons. It is old b/c I use to sing it, but knew to them b/c they are just now learning it. It is : The wise man and the foolish man. One builds his house on the firm foundation. The other builds his house on the sand. If you are not building on firm foundation than your house will crash on it's sinking sand foundation.
Luke 46-49
46. "But why do you call Me `Lord, Lord,' and do not do the things which I say? 47. "Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like:
48. "He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.
49. "But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.''
I was reading to my children the other day and was refreshed and reminded what Jesus said of "Who his family, mother and brothers really are". Luke 8: 20-21
20. And it was told Him by some, who said, "Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see You.''
21. But He answered and said to them, "My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.''
If you would like to be praying for our relationship to be where God wants it to be. Believing that God knows everything and exactly what we need. I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you Lord God for meeting my needs.
This has not been any easy post for me to write.
A year ago my parents became legally divorced. (I say this from my perspective of what I believe the Bible says to be true, in Mathew 19:6 "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.") My parents were married for 38 yrs. My mom was the one who pursued the divorce. It has been very tough for my dad to handle. A complete life change and at his age, one that he was not willing or wanting to expect. My mom on the other hand has adapted quite well. She is living a life that she is very pleased with. A life without spousal restrictions, where she is in complete control of what she does. Only herself, my sister and some friends to keep her accountable. Although the changes in her life seem to make her appear happier and quite possibly she is, but we learn through Paul's writings that we should be content "No matter" our circumstances. This thought came from a man who spent many nights in a jail cell and probably praising God all the while.
Although I have to admit it is not easy being in situations that challenge your very nature. It is through those challenges though, that we are able to see the merciful hand of God who seems to walk (or even carry at times) us through. I believe God allows those challenges for us to see how amazing and magnificent he is and can be if we only rely on HIM...
Many of us have either heard or know of families that have been divided due to a divorce. It is true about how children bear the weight and burden of the split. Emotionally children have attachment issues and such. Very rarely do we hear about the spiritual concerns. The most common concern is the higher rate of divorce among children of divorced couples. Although the rate of divorce is already high in the church as much so as it is outside the church. Why is that you might say? Primarily due to the lack of living out the word in their daily lives. The hardest thing to understand about divorce is that the two people who love us for some reason can't seem to love each other. The other sad thing about divorce is what it teaches children. Forgiveness isn't important in relationships, just allow bitterness to have it's way and if life gets to hard just give up and forget to have faith in God. With attitudes like that it is easy for children to question how powerful is God anyway. If we can trust Him to heal our broken marriages or anything else for that matter, than how can we trust him to keep his word and return for us someday.
I am like no other child who's parents have been divorced. Even after a year it is still not easy to get use to. I feel stuck at times. Stuck like in between a rock and a hard place. I am close to my
dad b/c he lives a half hour away. With my mom who lives in Texas a relationship is somewhat harder to sustain. Although that is exactly what I struggle with. My desire is to have a close mother/daughter relationship. More to the point though is my desire for her to approve of me and my life.
So while my mom was in town she was going to make an effort to visit with us too. We both did in fact make efforts to visit and spend time together. Not trying to be selfish or pushy I just thankfully accepted whatever time she was willing to give, although my children were so delighted to spend time with her. (Something she wasn't aware of that, and also that they ask to pray for her regularly.)
My heart became even more saddened when I started to realize the major differences in our life styles and choices. I love my mom dearly and desire a close mother- daughter relationship. Knowing all the while that unless things change that desire will go unfulfilled.
It was on her last day she calls to let me know of her leaving and we kind words for the first 10 minutes. Then I allowed my flesh to seize the moment and I begin to say things that I felt were true, but consequently were hurtful and unkind. It was towards the end of our conversation that I noticed what our major issue/road block is in not having a close relationship. We both struggle with the attitude that our convictions are true and yet we look at each other and see a life not worthy of Christ or not fulfilling our own preconceived ideas. Knowing my approval was not towards her decision, she still looked for it. Funny thing, that while she was here I was looking for her approval on my life and my convictions.
Which leads me to some questions. How can two people believe to be living lives based on convictions from God, yet their lives are so opposite. Which one is right? Is it even acceptable to judge the others convictions as being from God? What is our guide in doing so? How do we love a person who seems to have no respect for how we are living, especially when we consider to be living a righteous life? How do we even continue to try to have a friendship or even a relationship with someone who's view on life is opposite of our own? When we feel our foundations are directly opposing one another's?
I will go ahead and try to answer some of my own rhetoric questions. The answer is the only way we can be sure we are a believer is by reading and living the Bible. I would say the one who is putting to practice what they are reading out of the Bible. Yes it is acceptable. In fact we are assured that we will find or be able to notice other believers by their love, fruits and actions.
The Bible should always be our guide. We are to do the same thing Jesus did while he was being crucified on the cross. Have plenty of forgiveness, even as the soldiers were mocking him Jesus continued to show love and forgiveness.
Lately I have been singing a new/old song to my sons. It is old b/c I use to sing it, but knew to them b/c they are just now learning it. It is : The wise man and the foolish man. One builds his house on the firm foundation. The other builds his house on the sand. If you are not building on firm foundation than your house will crash on it's sinking sand foundation.
Luke 46-49
46. "But why do you call Me `Lord, Lord,' and do not do the things which I say? 47. "Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like:
48. "He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.
49. "But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.''
I was reading to my children the other day and was refreshed and reminded what Jesus said of "Who his family, mother and brothers really are". Luke 8: 20-21
20. And it was told Him by some, who said, "Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see You.''
21. But He answered and said to them, "My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.''
If you would like to be praying for our relationship to be where God wants it to be. Believing that God knows everything and exactly what we need. I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you Lord God for meeting my needs.
Monday, February 18, 2008
What a busy week!
Wow. I can't believe I went all week with out posting anything. It has been a busy week.
For starters our car needed some repairing done. We had a scheduled Tuesday appointment. My dad stopped by for a visit on Tuesday. My children love to see and visit with "Pa Pa". My sweet husband had to work on Wednesday afternoon. I woke up to a bouquet of red roses on the pillow next to me on Thursday and a sweet loving card that expressed my dear husbands feelings and concerns for me. (That was a suprise!) Tried to get the house cleaned for company coming on Saturday. Company came on Saturday and we went sledding in 10 degrees weather. (Could hear the wind howling at us.) Had a fun but chilling time. Came home after about 45minutes or so of sledding and mega calorie burning, to a bowl of hot potato soup and crackers. Yummy. I made my friend a wonderful assortment of cookies. One in particular that has been getting many tasty replies. A version of the "Little Debbie" snack cakes, called "Whoopie Pies". An oatmeal cookie sand which with a creamy filling center. I have made this recipe 3 times in the last 4-5 weeks. My last variation has been the best. I will post the recipe and my techniques this week....
Will try to be less busy this week, although I hear this quote quite often when I am out and today was not exception. "Boy you've got your hands full". So if I happen to miss a few days just keep me in your prayers and know that I am letting the Lord work things out in my heart, life and spirit so I can be of some valuable use for Him.
One more thought about our reading from Mathew. We read about the four soils awhile back. Well this week I had one day that was tough. Emotionally I couldn't shake something that had/has been a struggle of mine for most of my life. I realized this week it was and is b/c I am focusing on the issue and "the cares of this world" and possible could lead to my seed being stolen. I am thankful and overjoyed to have this revealed to me by the Spirit. Of all things it was while I was praying and washing the dishes....Praise be to God for answering us in ways we most dearly need it.
Reminding everyone that God is so Good and not to underestimate his awesomeness.
For starters our car needed some repairing done. We had a scheduled Tuesday appointment. My dad stopped by for a visit on Tuesday. My children love to see and visit with "Pa Pa". My sweet husband had to work on Wednesday afternoon. I woke up to a bouquet of red roses on the pillow next to me on Thursday and a sweet loving card that expressed my dear husbands feelings and concerns for me. (That was a suprise!) Tried to get the house cleaned for company coming on Saturday. Company came on Saturday and we went sledding in 10 degrees weather. (Could hear the wind howling at us.) Had a fun but chilling time. Came home after about 45minutes or so of sledding and mega calorie burning, to a bowl of hot potato soup and crackers. Yummy. I made my friend a wonderful assortment of cookies. One in particular that has been getting many tasty replies. A version of the "Little Debbie" snack cakes, called "Whoopie Pies". An oatmeal cookie sand which with a creamy filling center. I have made this recipe 3 times in the last 4-5 weeks. My last variation has been the best. I will post the recipe and my techniques this week....
Will try to be less busy this week, although I hear this quote quite often when I am out and today was not exception. "Boy you've got your hands full". So if I happen to miss a few days just keep me in your prayers and know that I am letting the Lord work things out in my heart, life and spirit so I can be of some valuable use for Him.
One more thought about our reading from Mathew. We read about the four soils awhile back. Well this week I had one day that was tough. Emotionally I couldn't shake something that had/has been a struggle of mine for most of my life. I realized this week it was and is b/c I am focusing on the issue and "the cares of this world" and possible could lead to my seed being stolen. I am thankful and overjoyed to have this revealed to me by the Spirit. Of all things it was while I was praying and washing the dishes....Praise be to God for answering us in ways we most dearly need it.
Reminding everyone that God is so Good and not to underestimate his awesomeness.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Master Builder.....What are you building your life on?
Psalms is a great reference to see the heart of God. We know that David is the author of the Psalms. David was a man after God's own heart. So if we can read any one of the 150 chapters of Psalms we can get a glimpse of the Heart of God.
Lets look at one of my favorites; Psalms 127
1Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat- for he grants sleep to those he loves. 3Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
There is a comfort in knowing the LORD is in the construction business. Not so much like the constructors of today. He just doesn't build buildings and houses. But great vessels for his usage. God builds families, lives that are formed together constructed for one purpose. His purpose. There is NO GREATER joy or comfort than to know God has a greater purpose for our lives and means to use us in any and all ways for his glory!
Consider why in verse 4 and 5 it refers to "sons as a arrow in the hand of a warrior" a tool that is of great importance for serving in the Army of God. Then "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full", a quiver is a basket or bundle holder which stores the spar arrows. As if to mean that a man needs many arrows for the task that is expected of him. If a man is blessed when his quiver is full, then how many arrows does it take to have a full quiver?
Does 1 qualify as a full quiver, probably not since one is singular. Which clearly the verse is meaning arrows in the plural sense. So if sons are like arrows in the hand of a warrior, what about daughters? I know that the idea of having more than 2 0r 3 children seems too much in todays mindset. But if we are believers called to a higher purpose, than we should follow God's lead NO MATTER the cost.
I know several families who have contemplated this exact issue. The final conclusion was to follow God in whatever size family he has designed for them. This decision is difficult if you do not know how God will provide the means to help care for and provide for your family. That is where faith w/out fear comes in to play.
This week I read Mathew 6 to my children. Concerning worrying about what we will wear or eat. God cares for the birds w/ out the birds sowing or reaping. Then about the flowers that are clothed by God, they don't toil or spin. Yet even King Solomon in all his splendor was not dressed as fine as the flowers of the field. Yet we have so little faith. What are we suppose to be concerned about? What are we to be seeking? Things that will not last or fade away? NO. We are to , Mathew 6: 33 " Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you."
Realizing that what is the most important thing to be chasing after is God's kingdom and his righteousness. Not the shallow material things we think are worthy of our time and effort. It is Mathew 6 :19-21 "Do not store for yourself treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Have you ever had anything stolen? How do you feel when you realize someone consider an item of yours worth something enough for them that they had to take it from you to have. Possessions no mater the item are not eternal. Things are not eternal, but a person can be. Sometimes we hold our valuables to close, and our relationships we throw away. We should be holding people close as in relationships or restoring relationships. A person has far more value to God than any possession.
My children learned this week that Jesus died on the cross for them (my sons are 6 & 4). It is so precious and touching to see their innocent understanding that Jesus bled for them. B/c of their sins Jesus died on the cross. A sacrifice that we do not deserve. It is really awing to witness little "arrows" sharpening before your eyes.
After all did Jesus count the cost when he died on the cross for us? He fulfilled his purpose to His Father by surrendering his life completely. I am convinced that If God is calling me to follow w/out fear and give my life unselfishly then so be it. I am more than delighted to obey even if it makes me and my family different from those around us. There is a higher price to pay if obedience is ignored.
My husband likes to say, "Obedience is Life". He couldn't be more correct. Obedience to God is Eternal Life. Are you obey God completely? Do you have Eternal Life? Ask me how and I will gladly point you in the right direction. Pointing you towards Heaven, that is.
Lets look at one of my favorites; Psalms 127
1Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat- for he grants sleep to those he loves. 3Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
There is a comfort in knowing the LORD is in the construction business. Not so much like the constructors of today. He just doesn't build buildings and houses. But great vessels for his usage. God builds families, lives that are formed together constructed for one purpose. His purpose. There is NO GREATER joy or comfort than to know God has a greater purpose for our lives and means to use us in any and all ways for his glory!
Consider why in verse 4 and 5 it refers to "sons as a arrow in the hand of a warrior" a tool that is of great importance for serving in the Army of God. Then "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full", a quiver is a basket or bundle holder which stores the spar arrows. As if to mean that a man needs many arrows for the task that is expected of him. If a man is blessed when his quiver is full, then how many arrows does it take to have a full quiver?
Does 1 qualify as a full quiver, probably not since one is singular. Which clearly the verse is meaning arrows in the plural sense. So if sons are like arrows in the hand of a warrior, what about daughters? I know that the idea of having more than 2 0r 3 children seems too much in todays mindset. But if we are believers called to a higher purpose, than we should follow God's lead NO MATTER the cost.
I know several families who have contemplated this exact issue. The final conclusion was to follow God in whatever size family he has designed for them. This decision is difficult if you do not know how God will provide the means to help care for and provide for your family. That is where faith w/out fear comes in to play.
This week I read Mathew 6 to my children. Concerning worrying about what we will wear or eat. God cares for the birds w/ out the birds sowing or reaping. Then about the flowers that are clothed by God, they don't toil or spin. Yet even King Solomon in all his splendor was not dressed as fine as the flowers of the field. Yet we have so little faith. What are we suppose to be concerned about? What are we to be seeking? Things that will not last or fade away? NO. We are to , Mathew 6: 33 " Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you."
Realizing that what is the most important thing to be chasing after is God's kingdom and his righteousness. Not the shallow material things we think are worthy of our time and effort. It is Mathew 6 :19-21 "Do not store for yourself treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Have you ever had anything stolen? How do you feel when you realize someone consider an item of yours worth something enough for them that they had to take it from you to have. Possessions no mater the item are not eternal. Things are not eternal, but a person can be. Sometimes we hold our valuables to close, and our relationships we throw away. We should be holding people close as in relationships or restoring relationships. A person has far more value to God than any possession.
My children learned this week that Jesus died on the cross for them (my sons are 6 & 4). It is so precious and touching to see their innocent understanding that Jesus bled for them. B/c of their sins Jesus died on the cross. A sacrifice that we do not deserve. It is really awing to witness little "arrows" sharpening before your eyes.
After all did Jesus count the cost when he died on the cross for us? He fulfilled his purpose to His Father by surrendering his life completely. I am convinced that If God is calling me to follow w/out fear and give my life unselfishly then so be it. I am more than delighted to obey even if it makes me and my family different from those around us. There is a higher price to pay if obedience is ignored.
My husband likes to say, "Obedience is Life". He couldn't be more correct. Obedience to God is Eternal Life. Are you obey God completely? Do you have Eternal Life? Ask me how and I will gladly point you in the right direction. Pointing you towards Heaven, that is.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
