Comfort in the Healing Process.

Yesterday January 21, was a tough day emotionally. I seemed to have more moments of sadness. More tears falling in disappointment. I felt very overwhelmed with my emotions. Yet in the same day I was comforted the most since all this has happened.

Unknowingly an arrangement of flowers arrived and my husband notified me of their presence when he arrived home from work. I looked at the card and just could not contain the tears as they fell from my eyes. Some friends of ours had experienced a similar miscarriage 4 months before us. They were the thoughtful and concerned givers. My heart was so touched by their compassion that I just felt overwhelmed with love and concern.

Also in the same day some other friends who live 35-40 miles away came to town and brought over dinner, a little heartfelt and heartwarming gift and card. Not even aware of their intentions except for visiting. What a blessing it was to see the love and compassion from these dear friends.

It is hard to deal with disappointment. Even harder to feel completely and utterly alone. I am so thankful b/c I have loving christian brothers and sisters who are making my disappointment easier to handle. I am also even more thankful for my dear husband who has been so loving and understanding. He has tried to encourage me with helpful words and thoughts; thoughts that are made to make me smile.

Tonight was no different. My 5 yr old son was going potty after bible time and when everyone else was already asleep. He began having a conversation while in the bathroom. (Before he went to the potty, He overheard me sitting in a chair in his room, crying and praying to God.) He seemed to be really sharing his heart to God. I heard the last phrase or so and asked him what he was saying to God. I was so astounded about his answer. " I was praying to God to give us more babies. I want 4 more brothers and sisters." I asked him if he was sad about little Ezekiel Moses dieing. He said "Yes". I said "that is okay God will help us heal I said." I then took the time to pray with him and encourage him to Trust and believe God. I told him nothing was impossible with God.

I am so thankful to God for seeing me through this difficult time and for giving me our son Othniel. He has been a blessing and has facilitated the healing that God started even. My heart is mending b/c little Othniel has joy and hope and peace in his life. Trying to find the joy and peace in everything. Even and especially in the simple things.

There is a phrase that says, "Joy comes in the morning". I think however it can be thought of that "Joy can come in the mourning." Looking for positive uplifting things can help the mourning process be less bitter and more of a blessing.

I know that God does not promise us a life with out trials or struggles. However he does promise us that HE will not leave us during those times. He is constant and ever present even and especially when we are suffering a disappointment or loss.

I am Thankful for a God that never lets go. I am also Thankful to MY God who has plans for me that I can not see but knows that they are better plans for me than the ones I have for myself. One of my favorite verses is:

Jeremiah 29 :11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans for welfare not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

I know it seems hard to Praise God in the midst of the storm, but the storm does pass and then comes the Rainbow. I am waiting for the Rainbow.

What a busy week!

Wow. I can't believe I went all week with out posting anything. It has been a busy week.

For starters our car needed some repairing done. We had a scheduled Tuesday appointment. My dad stopped by for a visit on Tuesday. My children love to see and visit with "Pa Pa". My sweet husband had to work on Wednesday afternoon. I woke up to a bouquet of red roses on the pillow next to me on Thursday and a sweet loving card that expressed my dear husbands feelings and concerns for me. (That was a suprise!) Tried to get the house cleaned for company coming on Saturday. Company came on Saturday and we went sledding in 10 degrees weather. (Could hear the wind howling at us.) Had a fun but chilling time. Came home after about 45minutes or so of sledding and mega calorie burning, to a bowl of hot potato soup and crackers. Yummy. I made my friend a wonderful assortment of cookies. One in particular that has been getting many tasty replies. A version of the "Little Debbie" snack cakes, called "Whoopie Pies". An oatmeal cookie sand which with a creamy filling center. I have made this recipe 3 times in the last 4-5 weeks. My last variation has been the best. I will post the recipe and my techniques this week....

Will try to be less busy this week, although I hear this quote quite often when I am out and today was not exception. "Boy you've got your hands full". So if I happen to miss a few days just keep me in your prayers and know that I am letting the Lord work things out in my heart, life and spirit so I can be of some valuable use for Him.

One more thought about our reading from Mathew. We read about the four soils awhile back. Well this week I had one day that was tough. Emotionally I couldn't shake something that had/has been a struggle of mine for most of my life. I realized this week it was and is b/c I am focusing on the issue and "the cares of this world" and possible could lead to my seed being stolen. I am thankful and overjoyed to have this revealed to me by the Spirit. Of all things it was while I was praying and washing the dishes....Praise be to God for answering us in ways we most dearly need it.

Reminding everyone that God is so Good and not to underestimate his awesomeness.