Just wanted to share some encouraging and exciting news with all of my sweet sisters of faith. A couple of weeks ago I found out that I am expecting another wonderful blessing. Of course I am thrilled. Not focusing on the past but wholly leaning and trusting in the Lord. I am currently feeling all the nausea and morning sickness feelings which is normal or par for me. We told the children right off and they were pretty happy. Our due date is April 29, 2010. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.
Not knowing what the future holds means Faith is all the more important. I think sometimes Faith is underestimated. I like to think about the example of faith from the Bible to encourage my faith as well.
For instance, Abraham had great Faith to leave his country and family and move long distance away with only his wife and nephew. Then when God told him how plentiful his descendants would be and yet he and Sarah had not one son yet. Finally when Abraham was told by God to sacrifice his son Issac, he Faithfully started to obey. Until God called out and prevented Abraham and spared Issac's life for the ram instead. (The story of Abram/ Abraham are found in Genesis 11 towards the end and through Genesis 22.)
I ask my self these rhetorical questions. Could I be willing to move a long distance away with only my immediate family to a country where I know no one? Then could I faithfully obey God to the point where it may cost me the most precious life of my child? I would hope my answers would be Yes. Faith usually asks the most of us b/c by sheer obedience to God we become stronger in our Faith. Thus Faith becomes easier to have or to use in every situation.
I also think about Peter and his faith. I know Peter gets a bad wrap b/c he had so many situations where faith wasn't his strong suit early one. Of course who could forget the walking on the water example. Brave enough to ask Jesus to allow him to go to him out on the water yet foolish enough to allow the wind and waves and his fear to loose his focus on Jesus and begin to sink.
Matthew 14:30-31 But seeing the wind, he became afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!"
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"" Yet at the end Peter seemed to exude as a purely Faithful follower and servant to the King!
1 Peter 1:3-9 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,
who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,
that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,
obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.
Just some thoughts on Faith. I hope they are encouraging to you as I have found them to be to me.
Praying that your faith continues to grow and strengthen. Just as God continues to give opportunities to show and share our Faith.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Choosing Joy.
Have you ever realized when you really need to hear a message from God he usually doesn't disappoint. About a week ago God revealed his truth to me through my nightly devotional with my children.
I had a really tough day and was glad it was almost over. I sat down to read the nightly devotional to my children when God revealed a message to me. The title of the devotional was "Be Happy Hearted". The verse was Proverbs 17:22 A happy heart is like good medicine. But a broken spirit drains your strength." I was stunned. I actually realized that it wasn't just that day but for many months I have felt "Unhappy" or having the lack of "JOY" in my life. I had been dealing with a lot of things and not really dealing with but allowing them to affect my spirit and attitude. I wasn't allowing the Joy of the Lord to be my strength. Rather my spirit was breaking or broken and my strength was being drained. Immediately I got the message. I thanked the Lord for showing me that although life has it's difficulties, choosing to be Happy in the midst of trials is a reflection of HIS spirit inside of me.
So for future reference I am going to choose Joy. I know it seems bleak at times with as many trials and difficulties we face daily. Just knowing though, that when this life is over if we have lived a life of choosing Joy then we will have something wonderful to look forward to. Just knowing Jesus loves me and is always near gives me peace and hope to help me endure whatever trail or situation I encounter.
As a side note, I have to mention the Veggie Tale story that fits with this passage also. Madame Blueberry has a house in a tree. One day the Stuff Mart sets up a store just down the path from her house. She is not a very "happy" Blueberry b/c all of her friends have nicer things than she. So she sets out with her two helpers, Bob and Larry to visit the Stuff Mart. Immediately she discovers all sorts of items her friends have that she just has to have herself. She proceeds to get the stuff and have it delivered by the french peas. On two separate occasions she is confronted with the idea of having a happy heart. Unfortunately Madame Blueberry learns a little too late about having a happy heart. Sadly her house ends up a pile of smashed sticks. But Madame Blueberry finally understands that happiness is having a happy heart and is more important than having things.
Having a Happy Heart is a choice. It is being content and thankful to God for all he has given and all he will give. Knowing that it is not what we possess physically that is important, but rather what we possess spiritually is what is important.
I had a really tough day and was glad it was almost over. I sat down to read the nightly devotional to my children when God revealed a message to me. The title of the devotional was "Be Happy Hearted". The verse was Proverbs 17:22 A happy heart is like good medicine. But a broken spirit drains your strength." I was stunned. I actually realized that it wasn't just that day but for many months I have felt "Unhappy" or having the lack of "JOY" in my life. I had been dealing with a lot of things and not really dealing with but allowing them to affect my spirit and attitude. I wasn't allowing the Joy of the Lord to be my strength. Rather my spirit was breaking or broken and my strength was being drained. Immediately I got the message. I thanked the Lord for showing me that although life has it's difficulties, choosing to be Happy in the midst of trials is a reflection of HIS spirit inside of me.
So for future reference I am going to choose Joy. I know it seems bleak at times with as many trials and difficulties we face daily. Just knowing though, that when this life is over if we have lived a life of choosing Joy then we will have something wonderful to look forward to. Just knowing Jesus loves me and is always near gives me peace and hope to help me endure whatever trail or situation I encounter.
As a side note, I have to mention the Veggie Tale story that fits with this passage also. Madame Blueberry has a house in a tree. One day the Stuff Mart sets up a store just down the path from her house. She is not a very "happy" Blueberry b/c all of her friends have nicer things than she. So she sets out with her two helpers, Bob and Larry to visit the Stuff Mart. Immediately she discovers all sorts of items her friends have that she just has to have herself. She proceeds to get the stuff and have it delivered by the french peas. On two separate occasions she is confronted with the idea of having a happy heart. Unfortunately Madame Blueberry learns a little too late about having a happy heart. Sadly her house ends up a pile of smashed sticks. But Madame Blueberry finally understands that happiness is having a happy heart and is more important than having things.
Having a Happy Heart is a choice. It is being content and thankful to God for all he has given and all he will give. Knowing that it is not what we possess physically that is important, but rather what we possess spiritually is what is important.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Enjoyed a wonderful Summer.
I took a little time off to enjoy the Alaskan summer with my wonderful family. We spent many outings at the park running and playing. Enjoyed many walks and bike rides and getting plenty of exercise. We visited the Alaska zoo a few times and always seem to enjoy the animals and exercise of walking around the entire zoo. Although we tend to be very quick about it. A visit usually only takes us about 45 minutes. Alaska usually has a very sunny May,June and July. In August and September our sunshine decreases and our rain increases. We are enjoying the beginning of our fall. The leaves are falling off the trees and the temperatures are also falling. We know that it is only 6-8 more weeks til the snow flies.
I hope everyone else has also enjoyed their summer. As Fall approaches, my prayer for you and each of your families is a renewed faith in Jesus. A walk with God that refreshes and strengthens each relationship you have. I earnestly pray that whatever struggle you may be facing right now, that Yahweh holds you close and guides you through as you faithfully trust in His Will and word.
Lately I have had some challenges that have lead me to a similar prayer. The struggles I have been facing seemed to really try my faith and challenge my walk. I knew the only way to overcome the struggle was to completely "let go" and totally trust in God's will for my life and my family. Sometimes letting go can be the hardest step to take. Ultimately though, we find that letting go frees us to not being in control and feeling enslaved to our emotions and controlled by our flesh. I am so thankful to God for his complete consistent unconditional love and strength. He is our Rock and Firm Foundation.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I thoroughly enjoy reading your comments and appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Thank you to all of my dear sisters in the Lord.
(Be looking for more frequent posts.) Blessings in Jesus. May your day be filled with Joy and your walk with the Lord be Sweeter than ever!
~Crystal
I hope everyone else has also enjoyed their summer. As Fall approaches, my prayer for you and each of your families is a renewed faith in Jesus. A walk with God that refreshes and strengthens each relationship you have. I earnestly pray that whatever struggle you may be facing right now, that Yahweh holds you close and guides you through as you faithfully trust in His Will and word.
Lately I have had some challenges that have lead me to a similar prayer. The struggles I have been facing seemed to really try my faith and challenge my walk. I knew the only way to overcome the struggle was to completely "let go" and totally trust in God's will for my life and my family. Sometimes letting go can be the hardest step to take. Ultimately though, we find that letting go frees us to not being in control and feeling enslaved to our emotions and controlled by our flesh. I am so thankful to God for his complete consistent unconditional love and strength. He is our Rock and Firm Foundation.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I thoroughly enjoy reading your comments and appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Thank you to all of my dear sisters in the Lord.
(Be looking for more frequent posts.) Blessings in Jesus. May your day be filled with Joy and your walk with the Lord be Sweeter than ever!
~Crystal
Monday, June 29, 2009
Pregnancy Update.
I first would like to say "Thank you" to everyone who was praying for me. I am sad to share that I am no longer pregnant. I miscarried early on and had an ultrasound reveal no lingering remnants. Another precious little one is waiting me in Glory. My heart is saddened, yet my spirit is up lifted. I know that God's plans are Supreme and have a reason and purpose. I have yet to find out exactly what those are. In the meantime I am not going to lose heart or Faith. I am going to keep on trusting in my Lord and whatever plans he has for me.
I have been told recently by several people who are concerned for me, to "take a break" and let my "body heal". I know that these are words meant to comfort and help me look at how my body may not be able at the moment to keep on doing what it is doing. I know it sounds bad having two miscarriages in 4 or 5 months time, but it's not like I intended it to happen or even planned it. They just happen. God allows miscarriages to just happen. It's his plan and he allows them.
I believe God could spare us the grief of not having to endure these moments of sadness. Instead though he allows them to happen to teach or show us something about HIM. I have learned to not listen to the council of those who are not advising using the Word or Bible. It is so easy for even Christians to allow the World to influence our advice or our decisions. If we allow our good christian council to be corrupted by the world what does that say of our Faith. I know that the easy way would be to listen and let my body have break. My spirit says otherwise.
I have decided to allow God to be in control. To fully and completely trust in God. I have also decided to take my mind off of possibly having another baby and giving my concerns and desires over to the Lord. I want to allow my focus to be where God wants it to be. I am going to enjoy the 6 blessings God has given me while I wait and see if he decides to bless me with more. After all God can close and open the womb.
I am going to let God have control, and let God be God! After all there is no other God like Him.
I do appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts of concern. I am deeply blessed to have such wonderful friends and sister's in the Lord.
I have been told recently by several people who are concerned for me, to "take a break" and let my "body heal". I know that these are words meant to comfort and help me look at how my body may not be able at the moment to keep on doing what it is doing. I know it sounds bad having two miscarriages in 4 or 5 months time, but it's not like I intended it to happen or even planned it. They just happen. God allows miscarriages to just happen. It's his plan and he allows them.
I believe God could spare us the grief of not having to endure these moments of sadness. Instead though he allows them to happen to teach or show us something about HIM. I have learned to not listen to the council of those who are not advising using the Word or Bible. It is so easy for even Christians to allow the World to influence our advice or our decisions. If we allow our good christian council to be corrupted by the world what does that say of our Faith. I know that the easy way would be to listen and let my body have break. My spirit says otherwise.
I have decided to allow God to be in control. To fully and completely trust in God. I have also decided to take my mind off of possibly having another baby and giving my concerns and desires over to the Lord. I want to allow my focus to be where God wants it to be. I am going to enjoy the 6 blessings God has given me while I wait and see if he decides to bless me with more. After all God can close and open the womb.
I am going to let God have control, and let God be God! After all there is no other God like Him.
I do appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts of concern. I am deeply blessed to have such wonderful friends and sister's in the Lord.
Friday, May 29, 2009
My Birthday Wish
For those of you who did not know, yesterday was my Birthday (May 28th). I don't mind sharing my age of 37, rather I am very blessed to have been able to celebrate this many birthdays. I am so thankful for the years God has given to me. More importantly the children God has allowed to come from my life and body. I feel that being a mother, something I have always desired and dreamed of has been one of my biggest joys and blessings.
My day did not start out as well as I had hoped. Many of you know of my pregnancy. Well I am now 10 full weeks pregnant and yesterday May 27 I started spotting again. My second time in this pregnancy. I may have over exerted myself on Tuesday when I took my children to the Zoo.
I woke up in the middle of the night with signs of bleeding and feeling of rapid heart rate. I knew I really needed to relax and most importantly relinquish my concerns and fears over to the Lord. I did so and began to praise God while trying to rest. Sing songs of praise and joy made my body more at peace and gave comfort to my spirit. Resting in my knowledge of knowing God's plans are supreme. I serve a Sovereign God and all my fears are gone.
I was also troubled by another concern weighing heavily on my heart. I have previously mentioned that my parents are divorced and my mother was planning her remarriage early this month. I was not in support of the remarriage b/c of my convictions concerning what the bible speaks about divorce and remarriage. I have not been in any communication with my mother for the past several months. Our relationship has been distant since I voiced my concerns at the end of last year. I believe in speaking the truth, even when the truth is not being followed or spoken by others. I knew by speaking the truth it would separate us even more than we already were. I just did not realize how emotionally affected I would become.
I did receive Birthday calls from both of my parents. I know that they both care, but my concern was deeper than that. I know that b/c of my convictions and lifestyle, my relationships with my parents has not grown but shrunk. In fact my relationship with my mother, was not really that close even while my parents marriage was intact. My dh says it is b\c of my convictions and that I am a reminder to her of what she knows is right and yet does not follow. Maybe, all I know is that my heart desires a closeness with my mother that God does not seem to allow. I am the only child out of the 4 she had that believes and lives according to the Bible. I have been rejected and continue to be rejected b/c of my faith and convictions. It is so emotionally hurtful and distressing to my heart. I know that God gave me my mother for a reason yet I still do not understand why. I wish she could see what a wonderful young woman I have become. A woman of noble character living by faith in Jesus. If only she could support and be available to show concern especially in moments like now. If only she could be so thankful to have me and my precious children in her life, but sadly she's not. These tender years only last a short while and sadly she is missing out on my little girls lives. Her presence is only there through cards on the holidays and random phone calls through the year.
Honestly, I shared these feelings with the Lord and told him how I felt slighted. Why would be give me to woman who doesn't appreciate me or show real concern of time and energy of value toward me and my children. Have I become such a disappointment to her b/c of my faith that any kind of personal relationship is not possible? Then it was as if God was speaking audible, that I heard him reply, "My dear child, I am your heavenly father and I am doing all of that and more, am I not enough?" I felt so ashamed for feeling selfish yet in that moment I could see how much love God has for me and continues to show me. A joy came over me and then I knew my desires for an affirming parental love were already established with my Father God. The desires for my mother were of the flesh and though they seem important may not be achieved unless there is a heart change. Being affirmed by God my father and his Love, is all that I need.
One thing I am sure of, perfect Love casts out all fear. God's love is not one that is rejecting or shows favoritism. Instead it is a love that is affirming, building up accepting to all even those who seem to not deserve it. God's love is ever reaching, ever encompassing, and everlasting. God's love Never Fails.
1 Corinthians 13
1. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4. Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5. does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6. does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
9. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part;
10. but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
11. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
12. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known.
13. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 John 4:18-19
18. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
19. We love, because He first loved us.
I want to share that although my Birthday is officially over, I am blessed to say I have received my Birthday Wish. Thank You to God my Heavenly Father, for being and showing me HIS affirming Love.
My day did not start out as well as I had hoped. Many of you know of my pregnancy. Well I am now 10 full weeks pregnant and yesterday May 27 I started spotting again. My second time in this pregnancy. I may have over exerted myself on Tuesday when I took my children to the Zoo.
I woke up in the middle of the night with signs of bleeding and feeling of rapid heart rate. I knew I really needed to relax and most importantly relinquish my concerns and fears over to the Lord. I did so and began to praise God while trying to rest. Sing songs of praise and joy made my body more at peace and gave comfort to my spirit. Resting in my knowledge of knowing God's plans are supreme. I serve a Sovereign God and all my fears are gone.
I was also troubled by another concern weighing heavily on my heart. I have previously mentioned that my parents are divorced and my mother was planning her remarriage early this month. I was not in support of the remarriage b/c of my convictions concerning what the bible speaks about divorce and remarriage. I have not been in any communication with my mother for the past several months. Our relationship has been distant since I voiced my concerns at the end of last year. I believe in speaking the truth, even when the truth is not being followed or spoken by others. I knew by speaking the truth it would separate us even more than we already were. I just did not realize how emotionally affected I would become.
I did receive Birthday calls from both of my parents. I know that they both care, but my concern was deeper than that. I know that b/c of my convictions and lifestyle, my relationships with my parents has not grown but shrunk. In fact my relationship with my mother, was not really that close even while my parents marriage was intact. My dh says it is b\c of my convictions and that I am a reminder to her of what she knows is right and yet does not follow. Maybe, all I know is that my heart desires a closeness with my mother that God does not seem to allow. I am the only child out of the 4 she had that believes and lives according to the Bible. I have been rejected and continue to be rejected b/c of my faith and convictions. It is so emotionally hurtful and distressing to my heart. I know that God gave me my mother for a reason yet I still do not understand why. I wish she could see what a wonderful young woman I have become. A woman of noble character living by faith in Jesus. If only she could support and be available to show concern especially in moments like now. If only she could be so thankful to have me and my precious children in her life, but sadly she's not. These tender years only last a short while and sadly she is missing out on my little girls lives. Her presence is only there through cards on the holidays and random phone calls through the year.
Honestly, I shared these feelings with the Lord and told him how I felt slighted. Why would be give me to woman who doesn't appreciate me or show real concern of time and energy of value toward me and my children. Have I become such a disappointment to her b/c of my faith that any kind of personal relationship is not possible? Then it was as if God was speaking audible, that I heard him reply, "My dear child, I am your heavenly father and I am doing all of that and more, am I not enough?" I felt so ashamed for feeling selfish yet in that moment I could see how much love God has for me and continues to show me. A joy came over me and then I knew my desires for an affirming parental love were already established with my Father God. The desires for my mother were of the flesh and though they seem important may not be achieved unless there is a heart change. Being affirmed by God my father and his Love, is all that I need.
One thing I am sure of, perfect Love casts out all fear. God's love is not one that is rejecting or shows favoritism. Instead it is a love that is affirming, building up accepting to all even those who seem to not deserve it. God's love is ever reaching, ever encompassing, and everlasting. God's love Never Fails.
1 Corinthians 13
1. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4. Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5. does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6. does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
9. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part;
10. but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
11. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
12. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known.
13. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 John 4:18-19
18. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
19. We love, because He first loved us.
I want to share that although my Birthday is officially over, I am blessed to say I have received my Birthday Wish. Thank You to God my Heavenly Father, for being and showing me HIS affirming Love.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Phinehas's Story. (Written on May 26 and published on May 29)
Today is my son Phinehas' Birthday. He is 11 years old today. Many of you do not know Phinehas, so I thought I would take a moment to introduce Phinehas to you . First let me share how special he is. I know most mothers will say how special their children are, but he is extremely special. Phinehas has autism. He has never been diagnosed, but if you are ever around him his specialness would be obvious. At the age of 18 -20 months he began regressing in his learning. He was progressing normally up to that point but began to regress shortly after receiving his final round of shots (immunizations). Many would disagree that the immunizations had any role in his change but as his mother I am convinced that they did. He is not your "normal" 11 year old. That is fine with me b/c he is just what God wants him to be very sweet and innocent.
Let me go back a year or so before Phinehas was born. I had been a nanny for a couple for several years. My two little children I cared for had moved away in May of 1997. At the beginning of the year my dh and I had decided to start "trying" to conceive. I was somewhat confused why we still had not been able to conceive. Still trusting in God and hoping he would bless my womb. My dh and I took a trip to England to visit some friends. A much needed vacation and kind of like a post-pone honeymoon. Shortly after our arrival home it was clear to me we were now in our ninth month of infertility. I started to become disappointed and somewhat bitter why God would not bless my womb. My dh Phil reminded me of one of his aunts. His aunt Kathy had also struggled with infertility. She also began to get embittered with God as to why she could not conceive. God revealed to her and she shared this with my husband some years later. God revealed to her that she needed to be thankful and completely trust Him. Holding on her bitterness only made her more stressed and worried about something she could not control. Her only option was to totally put her faith in Jesus. She began to do this and little did she know while God was changing her heart he was also preparing her for motherhood. At that very moment while aunt Kathy's heart began to transform into what God wanted it to be, her first son was being knit in her womb. She was unaware as most 1st time mothers are until a short time later. Her heart was overjoyed at the news but even more so knowing her heart had changed toward the Lord before she knew his plans for her new family. Well aunt Kathy was blessed 4 times all of her children were sons. Her and uncle Dale are now grandparents to 2 precious blessings.
After our vacation began temping as a nanny for a hiring out company. I started working for a family with one child, a new born baby boy. While I would familiarize my self with her son we would talk. We began a friendship that eventually lead to my being hired on permanently. I cared for her son and all the while still desiring my own.
September rolled around and my brother's Birthday was coming up fast. I wanted to make him an afghan but had work quickly. I began his afghan and finished it in 20 days. Pretty amazing since it was a queen size one. I work constantly on it while I cared for little Spencer and at home. It was during one of my shifts while finishing up the afghan that Spencer's mom asked me a question. She had been trying to conceive again since she was already in her forties and wanted to know if I would be upset if she became pregnant before me. She knew of my desire to conceive and that so far it was unsuccessful. I told her that I would not be upset if she conceived before me and honestly believed my answer. Little did I know I would soon find out at the end of that week that I was expecting. That little one was Phinehas.
Phinehas was born 2 days before my birthday. He was due early June. He was my only hospital birth. My longest delivery, and my second smallest baby. We made some fatal errors in sharing what his name was to be and received many comments on how bad of a name it was. None the less it was a strong biblical name and one that God had laid on our hearts.
Phinehas is so special to us and is the reason why we have all of our other children. Our experience with everything involving his birth, made us desire more children. Although now, Phinehas is developmentally delayed and suffering from Autism he remains to be our biggest blessing, and our biggest challenge. He is difficult at times to care for b/c of his lack of understanding. He has increased our patience and need to be unconditional loving and forgiving. In fact God has used Phinehas to challenge us spiritually in so many ways that with out him we would not be the believers we are today.
The name Phinehas is from Numbers 25:7 A righteous act done by Phinehas high priest turned God's heart back to the Israelite people. Caleb was also the name of one of the two good spies. Phinehas means: face of piety and mouth of brass, Caleb means: bold and courageous.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.
You may wonder why I am convinced the immunizations played a role in his acquiring autism. Well he was progressing like a child of 18 months would. Then he received his final round of immunizations and a change in development and cognitive interaction became very noticeable. Other people began pointing it out and some even started to reject him. At the time that concerns were coming to our attention, I was in my third trimester with our 3rd son Ezra. It was also at this point that we became concerned for our second son as well who was also progressing and then began to regress after his final round of shots.
After Ezra was a few months old we decided he was not going to receive any shots and to our surprise he has developed normally. We didn't find out till later that if in fact you have one child affected by immunizations you most likely will have others also. That began our decision to postpone all shots until a later age. It seemed to dangerous physically for our children to receive the shots at such a young age. None of our other children have had any signs of having autism. All are very healthy and developing normally.
Phinehas, however different and unique plays such a intricate roll in our family. Although he has problems understanding he interacts with everyone in a very loving way. See Phinehas is a huger. He loves to show his affection. Interestingly though,most autistic children do not like to be touched or hugged. Rarely does Phinehas smile on camera, he is a very happy and pleasant child. All of his siblings enjoy him and especially challenge him to interact.
Phinehas has become such a wonderful blessing to our family. If God choose to heal him today what a blessing that would be. If God allows Phinehas to receive healing another was that would also be a blessing. But if it is God's plan for Phinehas to remain autistic until he takes him home, that would also be a blessing. A blessing b/c Phinehas although being our hardest and most frustrating child, is also our most affectionate child as well. He has blessed us with his love and tenderness and innocence of heart that it has left us as his parents, desiring more.
Thank you dear God for Phinehas Caleb.
Let me go back a year or so before Phinehas was born. I had been a nanny for a couple for several years. My two little children I cared for had moved away in May of 1997. At the beginning of the year my dh and I had decided to start "trying" to conceive. I was somewhat confused why we still had not been able to conceive. Still trusting in God and hoping he would bless my womb. My dh and I took a trip to England to visit some friends. A much needed vacation and kind of like a post-pone honeymoon. Shortly after our arrival home it was clear to me we were now in our ninth month of infertility. I started to become disappointed and somewhat bitter why God would not bless my womb. My dh Phil reminded me of one of his aunts. His aunt Kathy had also struggled with infertility. She also began to get embittered with God as to why she could not conceive. God revealed to her and she shared this with my husband some years later. God revealed to her that she needed to be thankful and completely trust Him. Holding on her bitterness only made her more stressed and worried about something she could not control. Her only option was to totally put her faith in Jesus. She began to do this and little did she know while God was changing her heart he was also preparing her for motherhood. At that very moment while aunt Kathy's heart began to transform into what God wanted it to be, her first son was being knit in her womb. She was unaware as most 1st time mothers are until a short time later. Her heart was overjoyed at the news but even more so knowing her heart had changed toward the Lord before she knew his plans for her new family. Well aunt Kathy was blessed 4 times all of her children were sons. Her and uncle Dale are now grandparents to 2 precious blessings.
After our vacation began temping as a nanny for a hiring out company. I started working for a family with one child, a new born baby boy. While I would familiarize my self with her son we would talk. We began a friendship that eventually lead to my being hired on permanently. I cared for her son and all the while still desiring my own.
September rolled around and my brother's Birthday was coming up fast. I wanted to make him an afghan but had work quickly. I began his afghan and finished it in 20 days. Pretty amazing since it was a queen size one. I work constantly on it while I cared for little Spencer and at home. It was during one of my shifts while finishing up the afghan that Spencer's mom asked me a question. She had been trying to conceive again since she was already in her forties and wanted to know if I would be upset if she became pregnant before me. She knew of my desire to conceive and that so far it was unsuccessful. I told her that I would not be upset if she conceived before me and honestly believed my answer. Little did I know I would soon find out at the end of that week that I was expecting. That little one was Phinehas.
Phinehas was born 2 days before my birthday. He was due early June. He was my only hospital birth. My longest delivery, and my second smallest baby. We made some fatal errors in sharing what his name was to be and received many comments on how bad of a name it was. None the less it was a strong biblical name and one that God had laid on our hearts.
Phinehas is so special to us and is the reason why we have all of our other children. Our experience with everything involving his birth, made us desire more children. Although now, Phinehas is developmentally delayed and suffering from Autism he remains to be our biggest blessing, and our biggest challenge. He is difficult at times to care for b/c of his lack of understanding. He has increased our patience and need to be unconditional loving and forgiving. In fact God has used Phinehas to challenge us spiritually in so many ways that with out him we would not be the believers we are today.
The name Phinehas is from Numbers 25:7 A righteous act done by Phinehas high priest turned God's heart back to the Israelite people. Caleb was also the name of one of the two good spies. Phinehas means: face of piety and mouth of brass, Caleb means: bold and courageous.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.
You may wonder why I am convinced the immunizations played a role in his acquiring autism. Well he was progressing like a child of 18 months would. Then he received his final round of immunizations and a change in development and cognitive interaction became very noticeable. Other people began pointing it out and some even started to reject him. At the time that concerns were coming to our attention, I was in my third trimester with our 3rd son Ezra. It was also at this point that we became concerned for our second son as well who was also progressing and then began to regress after his final round of shots.
After Ezra was a few months old we decided he was not going to receive any shots and to our surprise he has developed normally. We didn't find out till later that if in fact you have one child affected by immunizations you most likely will have others also. That began our decision to postpone all shots until a later age. It seemed to dangerous physically for our children to receive the shots at such a young age. None of our other children have had any signs of having autism. All are very healthy and developing normally.
Phinehas, however different and unique plays such a intricate roll in our family. Although he has problems understanding he interacts with everyone in a very loving way. See Phinehas is a huger. He loves to show his affection. Interestingly though,most autistic children do not like to be touched or hugged. Rarely does Phinehas smile on camera, he is a very happy and pleasant child. All of his siblings enjoy him and especially challenge him to interact.
Phinehas has become such a wonderful blessing to our family. If God choose to heal him today what a blessing that would be. If God allows Phinehas to receive healing another was that would also be a blessing. But if it is God's plan for Phinehas to remain autistic until he takes him home, that would also be a blessing. A blessing b/c Phinehas although being our hardest and most frustrating child, is also our most affectionate child as well. He has blessed us with his love and tenderness and innocence of heart that it has left us as his parents, desiring more.
Thank you dear God for Phinehas Caleb.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Apology/ Update & News.
I want to apologize for not posting any thoughts for the month of April. Although my excuse for being busy and distracted are true, I should have at least shared why. In all honestly I have to confess I was slightly down in my spirit. Not exactly sure why I was feeling depressed. I have had a lot of concerns on my heart and mind and surrending my hopes and desires over to the Lord was of upmost importance. Taking the time off to think, pray and focus on Jesus was just what my heart, mind and spirit needed. Again I am sorry for my absence, and if I caused anyone concern or worry. I appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts of concern. They have been helping me and continue to be an encouragement to my heart. Thank you all so much.
Many of you know of my previous miscarriage and desire to be a mother again. Surrending this desire over to the Lord was so important to me. Trusting in Jesus was what I knew my heart, mind and spirit needed. Exactly like the verse in Proverbs 3: 5-6
5. Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6. In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Keeping my focus on the Lord and not looking around at others and envying what they have. Being appreciative and thankful to God for all of his glorious blessings.
My sister in law welcomed her 3rd baby a son she named Kyris on March 20. My mother sent out her wedding invitations for her upcoming wedding this Saturday, May 9th. My father left to return to Atlanta Georgia (to his wife) and needed assistance to the airport. My dh has been working hard filling in for other drivers who have been on vacation. Easter was enjoyable and relaxing with the visit of a longtime family friend and his daughter. My children happened to feel under the weather on Easter and so through our celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus we also shared in a much need rest. Thankfully everyone felt much better by the middle of the week.
A new month has started and a new season has arrived. Spring is upon us, while Summer is sneaking up quickly. The beautiful weather has been a delight. What an enjoyment of seeing blossoming trees and flowers and of course, the miracale of new life is so refreshing and uplifting. With the new season comes some wonderful news, I am pleased to share our news of expecting our 8 th blessing from God. I am due in December 2009 around Christmas time. Trusting in the Lords plan whatever it may be. I am currently in my 7th week about to start week 8 tomorrow. About a week and a half ago I was experiencing some spotting for 24 hrs. PTL the spotting has ended and everything seems to be going normally. With rest and focus on God I feel at peace and comforted in knowing, "God's plans are Supreme".
Looking forward to a pleasant summer, celebrating Phinehas' 11th Birthday on May 26th and my Birthday 2 days later. Leaning on God's everlasting arms and fully believing in the age old song,
Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, Just to take him at his word; Just to rest upon His promise; Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord".
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him! How I've proved Him o'er and o'er! Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for grace to trust Him more!(Chorus)
Oh how sweet to trust in Jesus, Just to trust His cleansing blood; Just in simiple faith to plunge me, Neath the healing cleansing flood!
(Chorus)
Yes, 'tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, Just from sin and self to cease, Just from Jesus simply taking Life and rest and joy and peace.
(Chorus)
I'm so glad I learned to trust Thee, Precious Jesus, Saviour friend; And I know that thou art with me, Wilt be with me to the end.
(Chorus)
I hope this gives you encouragement to Trust in Jesus today!
Many of you know of my previous miscarriage and desire to be a mother again. Surrending this desire over to the Lord was so important to me. Trusting in Jesus was what I knew my heart, mind and spirit needed. Exactly like the verse in Proverbs 3: 5-6
5. Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6. In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Keeping my focus on the Lord and not looking around at others and envying what they have. Being appreciative and thankful to God for all of his glorious blessings.
My sister in law welcomed her 3rd baby a son she named Kyris on March 20. My mother sent out her wedding invitations for her upcoming wedding this Saturday, May 9th. My father left to return to Atlanta Georgia (to his wife) and needed assistance to the airport. My dh has been working hard filling in for other drivers who have been on vacation. Easter was enjoyable and relaxing with the visit of a longtime family friend and his daughter. My children happened to feel under the weather on Easter and so through our celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus we also shared in a much need rest. Thankfully everyone felt much better by the middle of the week.
A new month has started and a new season has arrived. Spring is upon us, while Summer is sneaking up quickly. The beautiful weather has been a delight. What an enjoyment of seeing blossoming trees and flowers and of course, the miracale of new life is so refreshing and uplifting. With the new season comes some wonderful news, I am pleased to share our news of expecting our 8 th blessing from God. I am due in December 2009 around Christmas time. Trusting in the Lords plan whatever it may be. I am currently in my 7th week about to start week 8 tomorrow. About a week and a half ago I was experiencing some spotting for 24 hrs. PTL the spotting has ended and everything seems to be going normally. With rest and focus on God I feel at peace and comforted in knowing, "God's plans are Supreme".
Looking forward to a pleasant summer, celebrating Phinehas' 11th Birthday on May 26th and my Birthday 2 days later. Leaning on God's everlasting arms and fully believing in the age old song,
Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, Just to take him at his word; Just to rest upon His promise; Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord".
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him! How I've proved Him o'er and o'er! Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for grace to trust Him more!(Chorus)
Oh how sweet to trust in Jesus, Just to trust His cleansing blood; Just in simiple faith to plunge me, Neath the healing cleansing flood!
(Chorus)
Yes, 'tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, Just from sin and self to cease, Just from Jesus simply taking Life and rest and joy and peace.
(Chorus)
I'm so glad I learned to trust Thee, Precious Jesus, Saviour friend; And I know that thou art with me, Wilt be with me to the end.
(Chorus)
I hope this gives you encouragement to Trust in Jesus today!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Trusting God and the Power of Prayer.
For a while now I have had this topic on my heart and mind. Especially since my miscarriage, and how trusting God has a big effect in my healing; mind, body and spirit.
If we are "Christians" or "Believers" then it is "expected" of us to trust God. Does it come easy? No. Why is trusting God seem so difficult? Could it possibly be due to the fact that our natural man has been let down or failed by so many other things, or people? Do we just naturally assume that although God is Almighty and superior than man, will fail us too? Maybe....One thought is that humans can not handle disappointment or change well. Understanding that God's authority and power are supreme. God's judgment and decisions are far more comprehensively designed then any of our own. That is why GOD NEVER FAILS.
It is so easy to trust in things we can control. Can we control God? NO.... So instead we try to trust in the things that seem to be in our grasp of control. Maybe it is our husbands, children, jobs, friends, money and many other things that are visible and tangible. God is neither. What ever we trust in outside of God, it will fail us.
So many people have learned this lesson the hard way. Many people have trusted in the economy or their 40l K's. Now that the economy is hurting many people are also b/c they have misplaced their trust. What we can not seem to understand is that our trust is valuable. What ever we trust in increases the value of it. So it is logically sound to apply our trust wisely. In any case trusting in God is our best plan of action.
How do we do this? Well it's easy, one step at a time. It all begins with a decision. A choice, in which we rely not in ourselves but in an unseen all powerful God. A spiritual force that is ever present, never resting and always dependable. Trusting in the Almighty God means we relinquish to him our hopes, dreams and desires in order to allow his perfect will to be accomplished in our lives.
Everyday meet with the Lord, through prayer and through reading and meditating on the Bible. Doing so you will receive guidance and encouragement from his word. Also taking time to praise and thank him for his watchfulness and constant care over life's daily struggles. He wants to be there for us and wants us to rely and trust in Him. Building a relationship with Jesus should be a desire of all our hearts. Focusing on a close relationship with Jesus will inevitably bring a peace and joy beyond anything else on earth.
I have recently heard a new song from the band Building 429. It is their newest single called, "Always". If you get a chance you can go to http://klove.com/ and click on music and then the "top songs" and find it in the list and listen to it for free. Here is just the chorus :
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always
Such a wonderful song of hope and encouragement.
I also wanted to share that I have been blessed with some new friendships since my miscarriage and how much they have blessed and encouraged my heart. What I have learned through these new friendships, is that we all face trials but is not just about our problems but how we can minister to others through our own struggles. God can use us in ways we can not imagine if and only if we allow him to by putting our focus on him and not ourselves. I have been uplifted not b/c I have been sulking in my sadness but b/c I have been lifting up others who are facing trials and who need the love and prayers of fellow believers. Even in the midst of our sorrow we can be a help to others even if only in thoughts and prayers.
Remember what the Word says about about prayer:
Ephesians 6:18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints
Colossians 4:2 Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;
James 5:15 And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
Thank you to my new friends who have been praying for me. Also to those who have been the recipients of my prayers to our loving and awesome Father God. The beauty of prayer, is noticing how amazingly faithful God is in answering our prayers and in many ways beyond all expectations.
Blessings for a great day in the Lord!
If we are "Christians" or "Believers" then it is "expected" of us to trust God. Does it come easy? No. Why is trusting God seem so difficult? Could it possibly be due to the fact that our natural man has been let down or failed by so many other things, or people? Do we just naturally assume that although God is Almighty and superior than man, will fail us too? Maybe....One thought is that humans can not handle disappointment or change well. Understanding that God's authority and power are supreme. God's judgment and decisions are far more comprehensively designed then any of our own. That is why GOD NEVER FAILS.
It is so easy to trust in things we can control. Can we control God? NO.... So instead we try to trust in the things that seem to be in our grasp of control. Maybe it is our husbands, children, jobs, friends, money and many other things that are visible and tangible. God is neither. What ever we trust in outside of God, it will fail us.
So many people have learned this lesson the hard way. Many people have trusted in the economy or their 40l K's. Now that the economy is hurting many people are also b/c they have misplaced their trust. What we can not seem to understand is that our trust is valuable. What ever we trust in increases the value of it. So it is logically sound to apply our trust wisely. In any case trusting in God is our best plan of action.
How do we do this? Well it's easy, one step at a time. It all begins with a decision. A choice, in which we rely not in ourselves but in an unseen all powerful God. A spiritual force that is ever present, never resting and always dependable. Trusting in the Almighty God means we relinquish to him our hopes, dreams and desires in order to allow his perfect will to be accomplished in our lives.
Everyday meet with the Lord, through prayer and through reading and meditating on the Bible. Doing so you will receive guidance and encouragement from his word. Also taking time to praise and thank him for his watchfulness and constant care over life's daily struggles. He wants to be there for us and wants us to rely and trust in Him. Building a relationship with Jesus should be a desire of all our hearts. Focusing on a close relationship with Jesus will inevitably bring a peace and joy beyond anything else on earth.
I have recently heard a new song from the band Building 429. It is their newest single called, "Always". If you get a chance you can go to http://klove.com/ and click on music and then the "top songs" and find it in the list and listen to it for free. Here is just the chorus :
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always
Such a wonderful song of hope and encouragement.
I also wanted to share that I have been blessed with some new friendships since my miscarriage and how much they have blessed and encouraged my heart. What I have learned through these new friendships, is that we all face trials but is not just about our problems but how we can minister to others through our own struggles. God can use us in ways we can not imagine if and only if we allow him to by putting our focus on him and not ourselves. I have been uplifted not b/c I have been sulking in my sadness but b/c I have been lifting up others who are facing trials and who need the love and prayers of fellow believers. Even in the midst of our sorrow we can be a help to others even if only in thoughts and prayers.
Remember what the Word says about about prayer:
Ephesians 6:18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints
Colossians 4:2 Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;
James 5:15 And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
Thank you to my new friends who have been praying for me. Also to those who have been the recipients of my prayers to our loving and awesome Father God. The beauty of prayer, is noticing how amazingly faithful God is in answering our prayers and in many ways beyond all expectations.
Blessings for a great day in the Lord!
Spiritual Strength Renewed.
When trials arise and struggles seem tiring, we often find our spiritual strength needs a boost. I recently read a story in a very interesting and wonderful book titled, "Then Sings My Soul" special edition. This is a book comprised by stories about hymn writers by Robert J. Morgan. Each story can be considered a devotional since each song described starts out with a scripture which lead to the reason or inspiration of the song. The stories are so inspiring and add a wonderful understanding to the meaning of the beloved hymnal songs sung by so many believers.
Last night I read one of these stories. The song "Day by Day" was authored by Karolina Sandell-Berg a Scandinavian considered to be the "Fanny Crosby of Sweden". The scripture used for inspiration was Psalm 27 : 1
1. The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
Though frail in body she was known for her strong spirit and delighted in literary, artistic, and religious influences of those in her local surroundings.
Sadly tragedy hit her and her father as they were enjoying a boat trip. Her father the Reverend Jonas Sandell suddenly fell into the water and drowned when their boat accidentally lurched forward.
Focusing on the scriptures through her grieving and realizing the Lord gives strength to His struggling children. She authored 14 poems and one such poem became the song "Day by Day".
This wonderful hymn has many thoughts of encouragement for those who are needing to be strengthened. Reminding us of the great promises God has given.
Exodus 15:2
2. The Lord is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him; my father's God, and I will exalt Him.
Deuteronomy 33:25
25. Your sandals shall be iron and bronze; as your days, so shall your strength be.
The power of Scripture and the beauty of God inspiring a song that encourages and comforts many in their walk and life with Him.
Last night I read one of these stories. The song "Day by Day" was authored by Karolina Sandell-Berg a Scandinavian considered to be the "Fanny Crosby of Sweden". The scripture used for inspiration was Psalm 27 : 1
1. The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
Though frail in body she was known for her strong spirit and delighted in literary, artistic, and religious influences of those in her local surroundings.
Sadly tragedy hit her and her father as they were enjoying a boat trip. Her father the Reverend Jonas Sandell suddenly fell into the water and drowned when their boat accidentally lurched forward.
Focusing on the scriptures through her grieving and realizing the Lord gives strength to His struggling children. She authored 14 poems and one such poem became the song "Day by Day".
This wonderful hymn has many thoughts of encouragement for those who are needing to be strengthened. Reminding us of the great promises God has given.
Exodus 15:2
2. The Lord is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him; my father's God, and I will exalt Him.
Deuteronomy 33:25
25. Your sandals shall be iron and bronze; as your days, so shall your strength be.
The power of Scripture and the beauty of God inspiring a song that encourages and comforts many in their walk and life with Him.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Casting and carrying.
Trials are a part of life. They happen to everyone. Even if we do not want to admit it, we all go through trials sometime in our lives. Some seem greater than others. Some trials seem so unbearable that we scarcely find the strength to stand. It is through these times of trials that we may find our strength is not enough. We may even feel weak and unable to weather the trial on our own.
It is at those times that we need to look at what the bible says about how to handle our trials.
1 Peter 5 : 6-7
6. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,
7. casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Psalm 55 : 22
22. Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
It is interesting that the bible refers to cares also as burdens. What did Jesus say about burdens?
Mathew 11 : 28-30
28. "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
29. "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
30. "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.''
Wow, that is so wonderful! I just love this passage in Mathew 11. To me I can see a 3 step process.
1) Come to Jesus with your burdens and he will give you rest.
2) Give Jesus your burden. ( I personally think that the rest comes after we have given our burden to him).
3) Take up his yoke it is easy and his burden is light. (Our burden weighs us down, where as his burden lifts us up).
How else are we to handle our trials?: Well in Galatians we are encouraged to share our burdens with one another.
Galatians 6:2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Many of you are aware of my recent miscarriage in January. It has been for me, a very tough trial. I know some may not consider this a trial. I however have been struggling to understand or at least to find peace throughout all of this. I have gone through many trials before and yet have never felt so emotionally tired. In all of God's wisdom I know his plans are great. Even or especially when, I can not see them. I have to rely on my faith and trust in Jesus to help me through. I personally have felt hurt and abandoned. I know Jesus has not meant for me to feel this way. I know that we are to see our trials as a good thing.
James 1 : 2-3
2. My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3. knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
In many ways I am sure I am in much need of patience. It is never easy to endure a trial. Then after enduring it, you have used up every ounce of strength and patience you could muster. I know that and that is why we need to rely on Jesus.
My personal trials I struggle with are some that were established years ago, while others are fresh and constant. My oldest son is very precious to me. Not just b/c he is my oldest but b/c he is autistic. He has struggled with this for most of his life. My husband and I have struggled with him and his autism. Although it should be easier to deal with, everyday is a new day and a new challenge. That trial for us is continual. For many years throughout my childhood my parents relationship has had many problems. ( All of which could have been corrected through faith in Jesus). Just a few years ago my mom choose to leave my father after 38 yrs of marriage. She sought a divorce and is now preparing to remarry another man. My father has already remarried another woman. My thoughts and convictions concerning this has not brought me closer to either parent. I actually have no close relationship with anyone from my extended family. It has been a difficult trial b/c my convictions are not shared by my family.
My faith and convictions have separated me from some of my family. It is b/c of my faith that I have found the courage and peace to trust in God and follow him with my whole heart.
Recently I have realized that my life is similar to what Jesus mentioned in Mathew 10: 34-39
34. "Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.
35. "For I have come to `set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.'
36. "And `a man's foes will be those of his own household.'
37. "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
38. "And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
39. "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
I have been challenged by my trials to let go of the former and grasp and hold onto the eternal. , Though my heart is saddened over situations, and wished they were different. What is so amazing is that I have actually found abundantly more peace, strength and rest. It is all due to Jesus and his sacrifice on the cross.
Whatever trial you might be facing, please come to Jesus and lay it down and pick up his burden and believe me, you will find rest. I would love to help you bear your burden. Please contact me via comment and if you feel comfortable share a burden and I will lift you up in prayer.
It is at those times that we need to look at what the bible says about how to handle our trials.
1 Peter 5 : 6-7
6. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,
7. casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Psalm 55 : 22
22. Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
It is interesting that the bible refers to cares also as burdens. What did Jesus say about burdens?
Mathew 11 : 28-30
28. "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
29. "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
30. "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.''
Wow, that is so wonderful! I just love this passage in Mathew 11. To me I can see a 3 step process.
1) Come to Jesus with your burdens and he will give you rest.
2) Give Jesus your burden. ( I personally think that the rest comes after we have given our burden to him).
3) Take up his yoke it is easy and his burden is light. (Our burden weighs us down, where as his burden lifts us up).
How else are we to handle our trials?: Well in Galatians we are encouraged to share our burdens with one another.
Galatians 6:2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Many of you are aware of my recent miscarriage in January. It has been for me, a very tough trial. I know some may not consider this a trial. I however have been struggling to understand or at least to find peace throughout all of this. I have gone through many trials before and yet have never felt so emotionally tired. In all of God's wisdom I know his plans are great. Even or especially when, I can not see them. I have to rely on my faith and trust in Jesus to help me through. I personally have felt hurt and abandoned. I know Jesus has not meant for me to feel this way. I know that we are to see our trials as a good thing.
James 1 : 2-3
2. My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3. knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
In many ways I am sure I am in much need of patience. It is never easy to endure a trial. Then after enduring it, you have used up every ounce of strength and patience you could muster. I know that and that is why we need to rely on Jesus.
My personal trials I struggle with are some that were established years ago, while others are fresh and constant. My oldest son is very precious to me. Not just b/c he is my oldest but b/c he is autistic. He has struggled with this for most of his life. My husband and I have struggled with him and his autism. Although it should be easier to deal with, everyday is a new day and a new challenge. That trial for us is continual. For many years throughout my childhood my parents relationship has had many problems. ( All of which could have been corrected through faith in Jesus). Just a few years ago my mom choose to leave my father after 38 yrs of marriage. She sought a divorce and is now preparing to remarry another man. My father has already remarried another woman. My thoughts and convictions concerning this has not brought me closer to either parent. I actually have no close relationship with anyone from my extended family. It has been a difficult trial b/c my convictions are not shared by my family.
My faith and convictions have separated me from some of my family. It is b/c of my faith that I have found the courage and peace to trust in God and follow him with my whole heart.
Recently I have realized that my life is similar to what Jesus mentioned in Mathew 10: 34-39
34. "Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.
35. "For I have come to `set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.'
36. "And `a man's foes will be those of his own household.'
37. "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
38. "And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
39. "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
I have been challenged by my trials to let go of the former and grasp and hold onto the eternal. , Though my heart is saddened over situations, and wished they were different. What is so amazing is that I have actually found abundantly more peace, strength and rest. It is all due to Jesus and his sacrifice on the cross.
Whatever trial you might be facing, please come to Jesus and lay it down and pick up his burden and believe me, you will find rest. I would love to help you bear your burden. Please contact me via comment and if you feel comfortable share a burden and I will lift you up in prayer.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
God's will or my own?
I have been learning lately that God in all his authority purposes events beyond our control and for reasons even beyond our understanding. In my observation I have figured out it is not always for us to understand or even figure out but to just accept. I think acceptance of situations is the final and hardest thing to achieve. As humans we usually fight change or situations that are not at all of our choosing. Our struggles over situations and directly over our own thinking can be eased if we only accept what we so strongly fight.
I hate to say in such a way but we are nothing like Jesus. Or at least the majority of humans are not. See Jesus came to not only teach and preach about his Father and his love but to fulfill his destiny. Jesus was to ultimately sacrifice himself for all of mankind. Jesus never fought those who meant him harm. He never felt the desire to defend himself or "fight" the situations that were forming in order that his father's will be done. What Jesus did was pray and especially for God's will, his father's will to be done.
Mathew 26: 36-42
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, "Sit here while I go and pray over there.''
And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed.
Then He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.''
He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.''
Then He came to the disciples and found them asleep, and said to Peter, "What, could you not watch with Me one hour?
"Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.''
He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, "O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.''
I know that in this world we are given lives that may not be exactly what we desired. Events occur in our lives that leave us wondering, questioning and even grieving b/c we just need answers. Well our answers are found in the Bible and in our relationship with Jesus. It seems like a waste of our energy to fight what we can not change. I am not speaking of a physical fight but more of a emotional/ spiritual fight. One that is within each person. The fight or "battle of the will". We often become strong-willed or stubborn in order to get what we want. We battle with our desires against God's desires or will. If our children do this we tell them they are being willfully disobedient and discipline them. Yet in each of us we have a flawed desire to fight against God's supreme will for our lives. That fight is not accepting what he has for us or chooses to do in our lives. Some people are better at letting go and relaxing to obey, while others battle it out only to find that their is no winning. God is ultimately and always in control.
What is so sad is that we go out of our way to make our will work when time after time we fail. We just can not see in the beginning how by just accepting his will would be better for us. Accepting God's plans for us is not easy, but it is possible. Actually it is peaceful. I have been doing this very thing. Learning to accept and accepting day by day that my life is not just for serving me. Rather I was created for an even higher purpose. The purpose of serving God and His will.
Jesus said it best in Mark 8 : 34-37
And when He had called the people to Him, with His disciples also, He said to them, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.
"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it.
"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?
"Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
Basically these verses teach us we need to put our will in submission to God's will. We we receive from that is far greater than trying to win and sadly realizing we have failed and lost. I say this mostly in part b/c I and so many others I know are all about trying to achieve our own will or happiness or desires that please ourselves. What we have been called to it not that but to please God. I for one want to stop the battle within myself to fight for what I desire and allow my desires to be God's desires for me.
Psalm 37 : 3-5
Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
Recently I read Psalm 10 and a few verses really touched me. I hope you find them helpful and encouraging too.
Psalms 9:1-2
I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works.
I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.
This verse especially has shown me that knowing his name allows us to be comforted in trusting Jesus b/c he does not fail. Something my children have learned and remind me of, "God does not make mistakes". Everything God does is for His will and purpose. All perfect.
Psalms 9:10
And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.
Have a wonderful day submitting and obeying God's will!
I hate to say in such a way but we are nothing like Jesus. Or at least the majority of humans are not. See Jesus came to not only teach and preach about his Father and his love but to fulfill his destiny. Jesus was to ultimately sacrifice himself for all of mankind. Jesus never fought those who meant him harm. He never felt the desire to defend himself or "fight" the situations that were forming in order that his father's will be done. What Jesus did was pray and especially for God's will, his father's will to be done.
Mathew 26: 36-42
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, "Sit here while I go and pray over there.''
And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed.
Then He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.''
He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.''
Then He came to the disciples and found them asleep, and said to Peter, "What, could you not watch with Me one hour?
"Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.''
He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, "O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.''
I know that in this world we are given lives that may not be exactly what we desired. Events occur in our lives that leave us wondering, questioning and even grieving b/c we just need answers. Well our answers are found in the Bible and in our relationship with Jesus. It seems like a waste of our energy to fight what we can not change. I am not speaking of a physical fight but more of a emotional/ spiritual fight. One that is within each person. The fight or "battle of the will". We often become strong-willed or stubborn in order to get what we want. We battle with our desires against God's desires or will. If our children do this we tell them they are being willfully disobedient and discipline them. Yet in each of us we have a flawed desire to fight against God's supreme will for our lives. That fight is not accepting what he has for us or chooses to do in our lives. Some people are better at letting go and relaxing to obey, while others battle it out only to find that their is no winning. God is ultimately and always in control.
What is so sad is that we go out of our way to make our will work when time after time we fail. We just can not see in the beginning how by just accepting his will would be better for us. Accepting God's plans for us is not easy, but it is possible. Actually it is peaceful. I have been doing this very thing. Learning to accept and accepting day by day that my life is not just for serving me. Rather I was created for an even higher purpose. The purpose of serving God and His will.
Jesus said it best in Mark 8 : 34-37
And when He had called the people to Him, with His disciples also, He said to them, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.
"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it.
"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?
"Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
Basically these verses teach us we need to put our will in submission to God's will. We we receive from that is far greater than trying to win and sadly realizing we have failed and lost. I say this mostly in part b/c I and so many others I know are all about trying to achieve our own will or happiness or desires that please ourselves. What we have been called to it not that but to please God. I for one want to stop the battle within myself to fight for what I desire and allow my desires to be God's desires for me.
Psalm 37 : 3-5
Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
Recently I read Psalm 10 and a few verses really touched me. I hope you find them helpful and encouraging too.
Psalms 9:1-2
I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works.
I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.
This verse especially has shown me that knowing his name allows us to be comforted in trusting Jesus b/c he does not fail. Something my children have learned and remind me of, "God does not make mistakes". Everything God does is for His will and purpose. All perfect.
Psalms 9:10
And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.
Have a wonderful day submitting and obeying God's will!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Learning to Wait and Psalm 27.
I remember when I was in high school, I would retreat to my bedroom and read my bible. I would find so much encouragement and strength just through reading God's word. I would come away with such closeness b/c his word was spoken and speaking directly to my heart. I struggled with a few things as a teenager that I could not really discuss with my parents. What is obvious now, is that I struggled with belonging and feeling valuable and being loved.
I should interject here a little history of my teen years. First off there were four of us kids. All within 5 yrs. I was a middle child with two older sisters and one younger brother. I had some previous learning problems yet was a good student and behaved well also. My oldest sister and brother both had problems in which took my mom's time and attention. I was pretty much aware of this and instead of leaning on her I leaned on God and a youth teacher who was like the "mom" of our youth group. I was not a popular person at school. I never had a boyfriend at school. I struggled with belonging and feeling valuable and being loved. Only slightly aware that I was more than valuable to God. I learned through youth group and camp that purity was important and a daily devotional was necessary to live a christian life. Communicating with the Lord was my most cherished moments as a teen. I have to confess here that my family was dysfunctional and many unnecessary things took place. Fights between my parents were a normal occurrence. I would often retreat to my bedroom and pray and read my bible in hopes to alleviate the arguing. One time I can recall singing praise songs in my room on my knees at my bed and my mom bursting into my room telling me, "stop that". I knew what I was doing at that point was not only right but bringing glory to God. It was not at all my desire to make my mom made but to find peace in the midst of a storm. In those years God was my peace.
Throughout my teen years I knew that my strength lied with my relationship with God / Jesus. I would find strength, hope and peace in reading my Bible, praying and praising Jesus. I knew whatever problem or struggle I had I could trust and rely on HIM.
Of all things now I recall those moments and a verse that I remember reading that uplifted me so much was found in Psalm 27 : 14 NAS version
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong, and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27 : 14 NKJ version
Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!
I always found it interesting that the "Wait on the Lord" part was repeated. Maybe b/c there in lies the secret of everything we desire or are anxious for. If we truly wait on the Lord w/ out being anxious or nagging in prayer but truly wait on God, all things will come to be.
I find myself at the threshold of this verse having to somewhat relearn what I so easily learned so many years ago. Wait on the Lord; take courage, He will strengthen your heart Yes wait on Me!
I know how loving our Heavenly Father is and can be. In the midst of uncertain times we can find confidence in his word. Not plagued with fears and doubts but faith and hope in what or rather who holds our future. Why is it though, if we already know this, that at times in our lives this remains a struggle?
God never says we are entitled to know what he has in store for us. Rather he said he will never leave us nor forsake us. I am glad not to know all the details b/c his presence is more than enough to foreshadow joy and hope. I still need to remind myself that a Daily Devotional and even a Praise Time are important. Even with the busy life of a mother, there should always be time for Jesus.
Are you making time to commune with God/ Jesus? It only takes a few minutes to lay your concerns before him in prayer. Then pick up your BIBLE and allow his spirit to feed into you the strength, hope, peace and joy that can only be found in walking daily with Jesus your LORD.
I should interject here a little history of my teen years. First off there were four of us kids. All within 5 yrs. I was a middle child with two older sisters and one younger brother. I had some previous learning problems yet was a good student and behaved well also. My oldest sister and brother both had problems in which took my mom's time and attention. I was pretty much aware of this and instead of leaning on her I leaned on God and a youth teacher who was like the "mom" of our youth group. I was not a popular person at school. I never had a boyfriend at school. I struggled with belonging and feeling valuable and being loved. Only slightly aware that I was more than valuable to God. I learned through youth group and camp that purity was important and a daily devotional was necessary to live a christian life. Communicating with the Lord was my most cherished moments as a teen. I have to confess here that my family was dysfunctional and many unnecessary things took place. Fights between my parents were a normal occurrence. I would often retreat to my bedroom and pray and read my bible in hopes to alleviate the arguing. One time I can recall singing praise songs in my room on my knees at my bed and my mom bursting into my room telling me, "stop that". I knew what I was doing at that point was not only right but bringing glory to God. It was not at all my desire to make my mom made but to find peace in the midst of a storm. In those years God was my peace.
Throughout my teen years I knew that my strength lied with my relationship with God / Jesus. I would find strength, hope and peace in reading my Bible, praying and praising Jesus. I knew whatever problem or struggle I had I could trust and rely on HIM.
Of all things now I recall those moments and a verse that I remember reading that uplifted me so much was found in Psalm 27 : 14 NAS version
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong, and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27 : 14 NKJ version
Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!
I always found it interesting that the "Wait on the Lord" part was repeated. Maybe b/c there in lies the secret of everything we desire or are anxious for. If we truly wait on the Lord w/ out being anxious or nagging in prayer but truly wait on God, all things will come to be.
I find myself at the threshold of this verse having to somewhat relearn what I so easily learned so many years ago. Wait on the Lord; take courage, He will strengthen your heart Yes wait on Me!
I know how loving our Heavenly Father is and can be. In the midst of uncertain times we can find confidence in his word. Not plagued with fears and doubts but faith and hope in what or rather who holds our future. Why is it though, if we already know this, that at times in our lives this remains a struggle?
God never says we are entitled to know what he has in store for us. Rather he said he will never leave us nor forsake us. I am glad not to know all the details b/c his presence is more than enough to foreshadow joy and hope. I still need to remind myself that a Daily Devotional and even a Praise Time are important. Even with the busy life of a mother, there should always be time for Jesus.
Are you making time to commune with God/ Jesus? It only takes a few minutes to lay your concerns before him in prayer. Then pick up your BIBLE and allow his spirit to feed into you the strength, hope, peace and joy that can only be found in walking daily with Jesus your LORD.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Peace That Passes All Understanding!
Lately I have been trying to really focus on God and allow him to be my peace and strength and to rest in his peace. So many things in this world cause us to not be at peace or have peace in our daily lives. Quite the opposite. We have fears or worries about tomorrow or about our daily struggles that peace is NO where to be found. Sad to say that the phrase, "Rest in Peace or RIP" on grave stones is not even close to the peace that we can have in Jesus. Death is a rest but sadly it is not at all peaceful. The only way to have peace is to have Jesus.
I have been really blessed of late b/c I really feel I have received just what I have asked God for, his peace. Knowing what true peace is brings so much comfort and joy. One verse lately that has been a source of great encouragement has been Isaiah 26: 3-4
3. You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.
4. Trust in the Lord forever, for in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength.
I am so thankful to be in His perfect peace b/c I have chosen to keep my mind on Him and b/c I have also decided to Trust in Him (God).
I often ask the Lord to be my strength b/c at times I feel so weak and unable to have the strength physically or motivation to accomplish what I know I need to do. I know that by calling out to the Lord for His strength I can do what ever is asked of me. I feel so confident in God's strength as my assistance in achieving the purpose he has designed me for. It is so wonderful to know that HIS strength is everlasting. God is not a wimp. His strength is continual. He does not grow weary or loose his endurance. I am so thankful for that b/c I do tire and become exhausted through the course of a long day. God is always alert and rearing to go.
I have to add this little story b/c it fits so well. This past Sunday during worship service we began singing some familiar songs which the children knew and started to sing along to. Well we changed to a song somewhat familiar for the children called, "God is Exalted". Well Ezra my 7 yr began to sing, his words were not quite right. He was singing a slightly different version, "God is Exhausted". I was quick to correct his mis-wording and he easily changed his words. I am so glad that our God is not exhausted. ( I have to say that when he first said his slightly different version I kind of chuckled cuz he was so cute. Such an easy mistake to make.) Ezra is learning and one great thing is he loves to sing to the Lord and praise him with singing. Now you gotta love that!
One other thought based on this story in Acts 16 : 16-36
16. Now it happened, as we went to prayer, that a certain slave girl possessed with a spirit of divination met us, who brought her masters much profit by fortune-telling.
17. This girl followed Paul and us, and cried out, saying, "These men are the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation.''
18. And this she did for many days. But Paul, greatly annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, "I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.'' And he came out that very hour.
19. But when her masters saw that their hope of profit was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to the authorities.
20. And they brought them to the magistrates, and said, "These men, being Jews, exceedingly trouble our city;
21. "and they teach customs which are not lawful for us, being Romans, to receive or observe.''
22. Then the multitude rose up together against them; and the magistrates tore off their clothes and commanded them to be beaten with rods.
23. And when they had laid many stripes on them, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to keep them securely.
24. Having received such a charge, he put them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks.
25. But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.
26. Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were loosed.
27. And the keeper of the prison, awaking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself.
28. But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, "Do yourself no harm, for we are all here.''
29. Then he called for a light, ran in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas.
30. And he brought them out and said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?''
31. So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.''
32. Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house.
33. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes. And immediately he and all his family were baptized.
34. Now when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household.
35. And when it was day, the magistrates sent the officers, saying, "Let those men go.''
36. So the keeper of the prison reported these words to Paul, saying, "The magistrates have sent to let you go. Now therefore depart, and go in peace.''
What I love about this scripture and story is that Paul and Silas had to have the kind of peace that passes all understanding. To sing praises and worship God while being chained up and having bloody backs from their beatings they received had to be God's strength with in them. I find this story to be so uplifting no matter what situation or struggle I am in. I am so encouraged and challenged b/c I know what Paul and Silas face is far more greater then what I face. If they could praise and worship God in song in prison what more can I do in my situation.
What is even better then that is that through their imprisonment they were able to witness to the jailer and his whole family. How amazing. Immediately after the jailer brought them to his house he fed them and cleaned their wounds. Even in the midst of our hardships God can give us peace and healing comfort.
I hope you find this encouraging. Know that all God wants us to do outside of believing and confessing our sin and living righteous lives, is to wholly trust in him and rest in His peace. My hope is that you either know that peace or find that peace soon. Know that I am praying for all who read this. The only peace worth having is the peace from God that passes all understanding.
I have been really blessed of late b/c I really feel I have received just what I have asked God for, his peace. Knowing what true peace is brings so much comfort and joy. One verse lately that has been a source of great encouragement has been Isaiah 26: 3-4
3. You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.
4. Trust in the Lord forever, for in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength.
I am so thankful to be in His perfect peace b/c I have chosen to keep my mind on Him and b/c I have also decided to Trust in Him (God).
I often ask the Lord to be my strength b/c at times I feel so weak and unable to have the strength physically or motivation to accomplish what I know I need to do. I know that by calling out to the Lord for His strength I can do what ever is asked of me. I feel so confident in God's strength as my assistance in achieving the purpose he has designed me for. It is so wonderful to know that HIS strength is everlasting. God is not a wimp. His strength is continual. He does not grow weary or loose his endurance. I am so thankful for that b/c I do tire and become exhausted through the course of a long day. God is always alert and rearing to go.
I have to add this little story b/c it fits so well. This past Sunday during worship service we began singing some familiar songs which the children knew and started to sing along to. Well we changed to a song somewhat familiar for the children called, "God is Exalted". Well Ezra my 7 yr began to sing, his words were not quite right. He was singing a slightly different version, "God is Exhausted". I was quick to correct his mis-wording and he easily changed his words. I am so glad that our God is not exhausted. ( I have to say that when he first said his slightly different version I kind of chuckled cuz he was so cute. Such an easy mistake to make.) Ezra is learning and one great thing is he loves to sing to the Lord and praise him with singing. Now you gotta love that!
One other thought based on this story in Acts 16 : 16-36
16. Now it happened, as we went to prayer, that a certain slave girl possessed with a spirit of divination met us, who brought her masters much profit by fortune-telling.
17. This girl followed Paul and us, and cried out, saying, "These men are the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation.''
18. And this she did for many days. But Paul, greatly annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, "I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.'' And he came out that very hour.
19. But when her masters saw that their hope of profit was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to the authorities.
20. And they brought them to the magistrates, and said, "These men, being Jews, exceedingly trouble our city;
21. "and they teach customs which are not lawful for us, being Romans, to receive or observe.''
22. Then the multitude rose up together against them; and the magistrates tore off their clothes and commanded them to be beaten with rods.
23. And when they had laid many stripes on them, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to keep them securely.
24. Having received such a charge, he put them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks.
25. But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.
26. Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were loosed.
27. And the keeper of the prison, awaking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself.
28. But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, "Do yourself no harm, for we are all here.''
29. Then he called for a light, ran in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas.
30. And he brought them out and said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?''
31. So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.''
32. Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house.
33. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes. And immediately he and all his family were baptized.
34. Now when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household.
35. And when it was day, the magistrates sent the officers, saying, "Let those men go.''
36. So the keeper of the prison reported these words to Paul, saying, "The magistrates have sent to let you go. Now therefore depart, and go in peace.''
What I love about this scripture and story is that Paul and Silas had to have the kind of peace that passes all understanding. To sing praises and worship God while being chained up and having bloody backs from their beatings they received had to be God's strength with in them. I find this story to be so uplifting no matter what situation or struggle I am in. I am so encouraged and challenged b/c I know what Paul and Silas face is far more greater then what I face. If they could praise and worship God in song in prison what more can I do in my situation.
What is even better then that is that through their imprisonment they were able to witness to the jailer and his whole family. How amazing. Immediately after the jailer brought them to his house he fed them and cleaned their wounds. Even in the midst of our hardships God can give us peace and healing comfort.
I hope you find this encouraging. Know that all God wants us to do outside of believing and confessing our sin and living righteous lives, is to wholly trust in him and rest in His peace. My hope is that you either know that peace or find that peace soon. Know that I am praying for all who read this. The only peace worth having is the peace from God that passes all understanding.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Poem for my "Dear little Zek".
I wrote a poem about and for my little Ezekiel which has assisted in my healing. I wanted to share this yesterday the month after my miscarriage.
A poem from my heart with love and hope trusting completely in Jesus.
A poem from my heart with love and hope trusting completely in Jesus.
"Dear Little Zek"
My heart is sadden but not beyond repair,
My God whom I trust has taken away my fear.
Though I long to hold my little Ezekiel near,
One day in Glory we will be together my dear.
I know that time is in HIS hands,
For he has designed us for His purpose and plans.
I wish to know the future of what is in store,
But wholly trust in peace eternal, to hold you dear forever more!
My heart is sadden but not beyond repair,
My God whom I trust has taken away my fear.
Though I long to hold my little Ezekiel near,
One day in Glory we will be together my dear.
I know that time is in HIS hands,
For he has designed us for His purpose and plans.
I wish to know the future of what is in store,
But wholly trust in peace eternal, to hold you dear forever more!
I long for peace and continue to trust the Lord even though the questions are unanswered. I know that the portrait God is painting is not yet finished and all I see is the partial picture.
I will be patient and wait to see the finished product one day.
I will be patient and wait to see the finished product one day.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Recipe Ideas!
I just wanted to briefly share 2 recipes that I have tried out on my family with rave reviews.
The first is a sure fire hit in most big families. Known to many as the "Tatter Tot Casserole". It is really quite easy and very tasty. I added my own little flare to it. The original recipe is:
1 pound beef or turkey ground and browned.
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup milk
salt/pepper to taste
1 1/2 cups tatter tots
1/2 - 3/4 cup grated cheese
First brown your meat, then layer the bottom of a casserole dish with the meat following the tatter tots. Then pour over the tatter tots and meat the soup already mixed with the milk and the salt and pepper. Sprinkle the cheese over top and bake @ 350 for 20-30 minutes.
My variation I made a double batch b/c I knew my family would probably like it. I also added Durkee onions over the cheese since I had about 1 cup or more. This gave the casserole a bit more flavor and crisp taste. I served it with a side of green beans. If and when I make this again I will probably get a bigger casserole dish and put the frozen green beans on the bottom. Then use an extra can of soup and mix soup over top the green beans and then over top the meat with tatter tots. Then add the cheese and onions, making it a complete casserole. I have other casseroles similar but with out the tatter tots.
The second recipe is a muffin recipe. It is really easy and very similar to the muffins you can purchase at the warehouse stores. Those really giant muffins that are kinda pricey. If you like them like we do and can not afford to buy them then find a way to make them.
First take a regular cake mix. I used a Pillsbury cake mix that costs $ 0.99. Any flavor b/c you can create your own variations. I like the chocolate muffin variation:
Chocolate cake mix
2 Tbsp flour
3 eggs
2/3 cup milk
1/3 cup oil
1 tsp baking powder
1-1/2 cups chocolate chips
Mix everything together except the chocolate chips and then add them when the batter is smooth. Pour into muffin cups and bake @ 350 for 12-15 minutes. Just touch the top and if it springs back after touching then remove from the oven. Makes about 2 or 2 1/2 dozen.
Other variations; blueberry muffins using the white cake mix and basic in ingredients. Substiute the choc. chips for blueberries frozen is what I used. I even chopped mine up to increase the portion with out using up too many.(Plus mine were rather large blueberries.)
Poppy seed; just use a yellow cake mix and poppy seeds from the grocery store.( You could also add a little bit of lemon juice or almond extract to give the muffins a different taste. Do not use both. Just one or the other.)
I tried a butterscotch one but the butterscotch chips sank to the bottom and stuck in a few of the muffins to the pan. (I did not use paper cups for these.) If you use paper cups they would probably be fine. Use a yellow cake mix and 1/2 a bag of butterscotch chips.
I am going to try the blueberry one and use cranberries instead. I'll tell you how they turn out.
I hope you find these to be very enjoyable and that your families find them to be very Yummy!
The first is a sure fire hit in most big families. Known to many as the "Tatter Tot Casserole". It is really quite easy and very tasty. I added my own little flare to it. The original recipe is:
1 pound beef or turkey ground and browned.
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup milk
salt/pepper to taste
1 1/2 cups tatter tots
1/2 - 3/4 cup grated cheese
First brown your meat, then layer the bottom of a casserole dish with the meat following the tatter tots. Then pour over the tatter tots and meat the soup already mixed with the milk and the salt and pepper. Sprinkle the cheese over top and bake @ 350 for 20-30 minutes.
My variation I made a double batch b/c I knew my family would probably like it. I also added Durkee onions over the cheese since I had about 1 cup or more. This gave the casserole a bit more flavor and crisp taste. I served it with a side of green beans. If and when I make this again I will probably get a bigger casserole dish and put the frozen green beans on the bottom. Then use an extra can of soup and mix soup over top the green beans and then over top the meat with tatter tots. Then add the cheese and onions, making it a complete casserole. I have other casseroles similar but with out the tatter tots.
The second recipe is a muffin recipe. It is really easy and very similar to the muffins you can purchase at the warehouse stores. Those really giant muffins that are kinda pricey. If you like them like we do and can not afford to buy them then find a way to make them.
First take a regular cake mix. I used a Pillsbury cake mix that costs $ 0.99. Any flavor b/c you can create your own variations. I like the chocolate muffin variation:
Chocolate cake mix
2 Tbsp flour
3 eggs
2/3 cup milk
1/3 cup oil
1 tsp baking powder
1-1/2 cups chocolate chips
Mix everything together except the chocolate chips and then add them when the batter is smooth. Pour into muffin cups and bake @ 350 for 12-15 minutes. Just touch the top and if it springs back after touching then remove from the oven. Makes about 2 or 2 1/2 dozen.
Other variations; blueberry muffins using the white cake mix and basic in ingredients. Substiute the choc. chips for blueberries frozen is what I used. I even chopped mine up to increase the portion with out using up too many.(Plus mine were rather large blueberries.)
Poppy seed; just use a yellow cake mix and poppy seeds from the grocery store.( You could also add a little bit of lemon juice or almond extract to give the muffins a different taste. Do not use both. Just one or the other.)
I tried a butterscotch one but the butterscotch chips sank to the bottom and stuck in a few of the muffins to the pan. (I did not use paper cups for these.) If you use paper cups they would probably be fine. Use a yellow cake mix and 1/2 a bag of butterscotch chips.
I am going to try the blueberry one and use cranberries instead. I'll tell you how they turn out.
I hope you find these to be very enjoyable and that your families find them to be very Yummy!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
My favorite Psalm and jewelry recommendation.
I have this wonderful piece of jewelry that I would like to share with you. Maybe you have heard of it maybe not. It is a wonderful idea based on the 127 Psalm. (My favorite).
Psalms 127
1. Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain.
2. It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep.
3. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is His reward.
4. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.
5. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
In 2003 my dear husband (dh) bought my a "Solomon's Bow". It is a basically a piece of jewelry a necklace that is in the shape of a bow. It consists of the parents birth stones one on each end of the bow. Then in the middle dangling down are arrows representing each child born a live and miscarried. It is a very beautiful way to share your faith and show the significance of each child God has blessed you with.
I have inquired how I can add my two little girls arrows and the arrow of my little Ezekiel. I know that even though he is not physically with us, he was still born to us and still and always will be a blessed gift from God. Isn't that what all children are no matter their length of life.
I know remembering or recollecting the memory of a lost child may be sensitive and tender but also healing. I know that the peace of God can be very reassuring knowing our children are now in the safest place they can be. Painful that they are not in our arms, but peaceful knowing they are in the arms of their creator.
The jeweler who created this beautiful "testimonial jewelry" is the father to 8 blessings. He made this first for his wife after the birth of their 1st daughter. He now sells them and other different kinds of jewelry. He has designed a white (pure) stone for those who miscarried too early to know their little one.
I know that dh's have a difficult time figuring out what to give their wife for mother's day or even their birthday. This would be a great idea to share with him. ( I know that finances may be tight, but maybe you could save for this and even make it an anniversary present or a Christmas present.)
When I received my Solomon's bow it was after my birthday on a very difficult day. Actually it arrived at just the perfect time. It was actually my birthday present but arrived a week later.
It was a Saturday and my dh had been driving me to a pre-natal water aerobics class. He stopped for a yellow light and the van behind us didn't notice us. He continued to move and rear ended us quite quickly. We were all shaken up but praise the Lord we were not injured. My husband checked the mail upon arriving home and handed me this box. Inside I found my specially crafted Solomon's bow already endowed with our little one's birthstone who was due in October. Thankfully our son Othniel arrived late and so the right birthstone was added correctly. It is a very precious and beautiful way to commemorate the value of what God says in his word what children are. "Arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior". Wow!
I am excited to get my new arrows added. I wanted to share this so that maybe other moms may be blessed to have such a wonderful tool to share and show the importance of how God has blessed them.
Here is the link to the website:
http://www.artsaloft.com/bow/
Encouragement for every mother who has lost a child and who is blessed with gifts that are uniquely made for her. Handcrafted by her Father, the Almighty God.
Psalms 127
1. Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain.
2. It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep.
3. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is His reward.
4. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.
5. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
In 2003 my dear husband (dh) bought my a "Solomon's Bow". It is a basically a piece of jewelry a necklace that is in the shape of a bow. It consists of the parents birth stones one on each end of the bow. Then in the middle dangling down are arrows representing each child born a live and miscarried. It is a very beautiful way to share your faith and show the significance of each child God has blessed you with.
I have inquired how I can add my two little girls arrows and the arrow of my little Ezekiel. I know that even though he is not physically with us, he was still born to us and still and always will be a blessed gift from God. Isn't that what all children are no matter their length of life.
I know remembering or recollecting the memory of a lost child may be sensitive and tender but also healing. I know that the peace of God can be very reassuring knowing our children are now in the safest place they can be. Painful that they are not in our arms, but peaceful knowing they are in the arms of their creator.
The jeweler who created this beautiful "testimonial jewelry" is the father to 8 blessings. He made this first for his wife after the birth of their 1st daughter. He now sells them and other different kinds of jewelry. He has designed a white (pure) stone for those who miscarried too early to know their little one.
I know that dh's have a difficult time figuring out what to give their wife for mother's day or even their birthday. This would be a great idea to share with him. ( I know that finances may be tight, but maybe you could save for this and even make it an anniversary present or a Christmas present.)
When I received my Solomon's bow it was after my birthday on a very difficult day. Actually it arrived at just the perfect time. It was actually my birthday present but arrived a week later.
It was a Saturday and my dh had been driving me to a pre-natal water aerobics class. He stopped for a yellow light and the van behind us didn't notice us. He continued to move and rear ended us quite quickly. We were all shaken up but praise the Lord we were not injured. My husband checked the mail upon arriving home and handed me this box. Inside I found my specially crafted Solomon's bow already endowed with our little one's birthstone who was due in October. Thankfully our son Othniel arrived late and so the right birthstone was added correctly. It is a very precious and beautiful way to commemorate the value of what God says in his word what children are. "Arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior". Wow!
I am excited to get my new arrows added. I wanted to share this so that maybe other moms may be blessed to have such a wonderful tool to share and show the importance of how God has blessed them.
Here is the link to the website:
http://www.artsaloft.com/bow/
Encouragement for every mother who has lost a child and who is blessed with gifts that are uniquely made for her. Handcrafted by her Father, the Almighty God.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Changes can be good and challenging.
I thought I would change this a little and add a blue hue to my blog. I hope you like it. I would love to know what you think of my changes.
I love changes. Well most often, except for the ones that are really challenging.
(I thought I would share a little about me to support the idea of change being fun / good and challenging.)
I remember as a girl I had to get use to changes. My father was in the Air Force and we would travel every 2-4 yrs to different bases. It depended on the area and if there was an available working position for him. In my childhood life, I have moved 4 times, 2 of those were cross country.
Here is a little Crystal history. I was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado at the Air Force Academy. My brother followed 16 months later. After a couple of yrs there we moved to Fairbanks Alaska. I was probably a kindergartner and there began public school. My parents exposed us to Christianity in a Baptist Church aptly named, "Moose Creek Baptist". ( I have just recently reconnected to the couple that shared the gospel w/ my parents. More to come in another post.)
From there we traveled cross country in a trailer and a suburban to New York. Actually it was middle state near Syracuse. We eventually bought a country house on one acre. I loved this home and most the memories related. I learned so much from my experiences on what I call country life. (I will have to share later about the 3 cows that stayed in the pasture next to our property.) We had a garden their and had wild deer, rabbits, snakes, frogs and snapping turtles on occasion. This was the only time when we lived near our maternal grandparents. (Well 4 hours is closer than 3,000 + miles. )
From there we moved back to Alaska. Anchorage instead of Fairbanks. We knew no one, with the exception of some old friends in Fairbanks. We were much older as children go and were now living on a much bigger base and in a more kid friendly neighborhood. We walked to school again and where as in NY we took the bus. (That proved more trial some for me since I can recall missing the bus a few times.) We had more moose interactions. My younger brother was actually chased by a moose on the way home from school. We only lived on base for almost 2 years or little less. Then we moved 20 minutes away to a little town called Eagle River. I was now 10 going on 11 and in the 5th grade.
What I hated most about moving was getting use to new teachers and meeting new students. What I loved about moving was making new friends. Not the same thing. I excelled at meeting people just not so good at having them like me. I was teased a lot as you can tell w/the red hair and all. I guess the freckles didn't help either.
The hardest part about moving was finding a new church. We would attend a church for a while and then a problem or situation would arise and then we would attend somewhere else. I really enjoyed church and that is where I excelled at meeting new friends. The kids at church seemed much more like able and friendlier than the kids at school. Maybe that was the Jesus in them? I really enjoyed the church that we went to after we moved to Eagle River. Actually we may have already been attending. I felt like most of the people were like family. I was even married at that church. I made my mom really mad at me when I came home from my first yr at college. Before I went to college my family began attending another church my senior yr of HS. I didn't really like the preacher or feel like the church was family. It was more of convenience since the church was locally and our other church was in Anchorage. I came home that summer and visited a friend the first Sunday home. Of course my friend was going to my old church in Anchorage and I went along to re-join the congregation I missed so much. While I was away my mom and dad changed churches and my mom was hoping I would give her new church a try. I guess I had my mind made up even before I came home from college.
I guess if we have a choice in what we would like we jump at the chance b/c we know the familiarity. However we do not always get this opportunity when it comes to God. God seems to enjoy or prefer putting us in situations we seem unfamiliar with. Probably b/c he knows we will have to rely on him for guidance and not ourselves or our past experience.
I know that be vulnerable can make us uncomfortable even scared and depressed. Not knowing what to expect can be very terrifying. God knows this and instead of reacting by our fears and worries God says "Trust in Me". I know it can be difficult to trust in what we can not see, but if we can we will be Blessed beyond our imagination.
That is where I am at now since my miscarriage. I am trying to "TRUST in HIM". I am no longer so saddened that I cry my self to sleep. I can't even really work up the tears. I don't think it is b/c my emotions are hardened, but b/c my heart and spirit are at Peace. I know I have to accept what God chooses to do with my life. I am O.K. with God deciding for me what HE feels is Best. I say this not with out greif but with totally and complete FAITH in HIM. God is my ROCK and my SHIELD, I will hold fast to HIM and seek his protection. I am confident that God loves me and has a plan and purpose for me and my life and family. I just am not privilege to what and how he will go about working it out.
One thing I know or one verse I am comforted with is Mathew 6: 25- 34
25. "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
26. "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27. "Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28. "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;
29. "and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30. "Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31. "Therefore do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?'
32. "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
34. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Verses 32 and 33 are the most significant to me. I find comfort in knowing God knows what I need. If I seek his kingdom and His righteousness then all these things will be added. What things? The things I need or the things he wants for me and knows that I need them even when I am unaware of them. I believe we can Trust in the one who has created us. He has known us before birth and has all of our hairs counted. If he has gone to all the work to know those details what else does he know and why shouldn't I Trust Him.
I love changes. Well most often, except for the ones that are really challenging.
(I thought I would share a little about me to support the idea of change being fun / good and challenging.)
I remember as a girl I had to get use to changes. My father was in the Air Force and we would travel every 2-4 yrs to different bases. It depended on the area and if there was an available working position for him. In my childhood life, I have moved 4 times, 2 of those were cross country.
Here is a little Crystal history. I was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado at the Air Force Academy. My brother followed 16 months later. After a couple of yrs there we moved to Fairbanks Alaska. I was probably a kindergartner and there began public school. My parents exposed us to Christianity in a Baptist Church aptly named, "Moose Creek Baptist". ( I have just recently reconnected to the couple that shared the gospel w/ my parents. More to come in another post.)
From there we traveled cross country in a trailer and a suburban to New York. Actually it was middle state near Syracuse. We eventually bought a country house on one acre. I loved this home and most the memories related. I learned so much from my experiences on what I call country life. (I will have to share later about the 3 cows that stayed in the pasture next to our property.) We had a garden their and had wild deer, rabbits, snakes, frogs and snapping turtles on occasion. This was the only time when we lived near our maternal grandparents. (Well 4 hours is closer than 3,000 + miles. )
From there we moved back to Alaska. Anchorage instead of Fairbanks. We knew no one, with the exception of some old friends in Fairbanks. We were much older as children go and were now living on a much bigger base and in a more kid friendly neighborhood. We walked to school again and where as in NY we took the bus. (That proved more trial some for me since I can recall missing the bus a few times.) We had more moose interactions. My younger brother was actually chased by a moose on the way home from school. We only lived on base for almost 2 years or little less. Then we moved 20 minutes away to a little town called Eagle River. I was now 10 going on 11 and in the 5th grade.
What I hated most about moving was getting use to new teachers and meeting new students. What I loved about moving was making new friends. Not the same thing. I excelled at meeting people just not so good at having them like me. I was teased a lot as you can tell w/the red hair and all. I guess the freckles didn't help either.
The hardest part about moving was finding a new church. We would attend a church for a while and then a problem or situation would arise and then we would attend somewhere else. I really enjoyed church and that is where I excelled at meeting new friends. The kids at church seemed much more like able and friendlier than the kids at school. Maybe that was the Jesus in them? I really enjoyed the church that we went to after we moved to Eagle River. Actually we may have already been attending. I felt like most of the people were like family. I was even married at that church. I made my mom really mad at me when I came home from my first yr at college. Before I went to college my family began attending another church my senior yr of HS. I didn't really like the preacher or feel like the church was family. It was more of convenience since the church was locally and our other church was in Anchorage. I came home that summer and visited a friend the first Sunday home. Of course my friend was going to my old church in Anchorage and I went along to re-join the congregation I missed so much. While I was away my mom and dad changed churches and my mom was hoping I would give her new church a try. I guess I had my mind made up even before I came home from college.
I guess if we have a choice in what we would like we jump at the chance b/c we know the familiarity. However we do not always get this opportunity when it comes to God. God seems to enjoy or prefer putting us in situations we seem unfamiliar with. Probably b/c he knows we will have to rely on him for guidance and not ourselves or our past experience.
I know that be vulnerable can make us uncomfortable even scared and depressed. Not knowing what to expect can be very terrifying. God knows this and instead of reacting by our fears and worries God says "Trust in Me". I know it can be difficult to trust in what we can not see, but if we can we will be Blessed beyond our imagination.
That is where I am at now since my miscarriage. I am trying to "TRUST in HIM". I am no longer so saddened that I cry my self to sleep. I can't even really work up the tears. I don't think it is b/c my emotions are hardened, but b/c my heart and spirit are at Peace. I know I have to accept what God chooses to do with my life. I am O.K. with God deciding for me what HE feels is Best. I say this not with out greif but with totally and complete FAITH in HIM. God is my ROCK and my SHIELD, I will hold fast to HIM and seek his protection. I am confident that God loves me and has a plan and purpose for me and my life and family. I just am not privilege to what and how he will go about working it out.
One thing I know or one verse I am comforted with is Mathew 6: 25- 34
25. "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
26. "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27. "Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28. "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;
29. "and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30. "Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31. "Therefore do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?'
32. "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
34. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Verses 32 and 33 are the most significant to me. I find comfort in knowing God knows what I need. If I seek his kingdom and His righteousness then all these things will be added. What things? The things I need or the things he wants for me and knows that I need them even when I am unaware of them. I believe we can Trust in the one who has created us. He has known us before birth and has all of our hairs counted. If he has gone to all the work to know those details what else does he know and why shouldn't I Trust Him.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Hearts Song.
I just love listening to the Christian radio station. I find so much encouragement for my heart, mind and spirit. It has a way of encouraging , soothing, and uplifting my spirit. On many occasions I have been found praising the Lord while listening to the radio and cleaning the house or cooking a meal. Lately I have noticed the effect on my sons. Especially Ezra who will identify with a song and start singing along to the best of his ability. That is so precious!
Recently though, there has been a song in particular that has really touched my heart. The words are exactly how I feel in this time of my life. The song is by a group of 4 Canadian Christian men, aptly named Downhere. The song was actually written as a prayer, by the co lead singer/ song writer Jason Germain. The song is from the album "The End is the Beginning," and is titled "Here I am".
The second verse really touches me and speaks to where my heart is in the healing and trusting in Jesus. Just a day or so after the miscarriage, I would hear this song on the radio and the tears would start streaming down my checks during this verse. I find so much peace, comfort and encouragement knowing God has all the pieces and knows how they fit together and has a plan and a purpose for ALL of our lives.
The chorus:
Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan,
Here I am
When setbacks and failures, and upset plans
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands
Are You not the closest when it's hardest to stand
I know that you will finish what You began
And these broken parts You will redeem
Become the song that I can sing
Chorus
Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness
And the fear that I'll fail You in the end
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but You can
Chorus
If you have not heard it or would like to you can Google it and see a concert version on You-tube.
I identify with the lyrics b/c of how I feel they relate to my own current state of mind. I have to admit that the Christian music has really influenced my healing and strengthened my heart and mind towards trusting and obeying God and his word. I remembering hearing about undergrads who conducted studies on how music can have or has a healing effect on people. I know that it is important to use caution on what we see and hear b/c it can influence us in unimaginable ways. The thought that what goes in can produce good or bad in us and can influences others as it makes it's way out of us and into the world we live.
Encouraging you to listen and focus your attention on God and things that will build you up and pull you closer to your creator, the Almighty God and Gracious Redeemer Jesus.
What is so inspiring about Christian music, are the messages that the artists convey. This is done not only in music/lyrics but with instrumental talent. The inspiration is actually drawn from thoughts they have during their quiet times with the LORD. These gifted song writers not only receive a blessing from their devotions but also through sharing those intimate moments of God's inspiration with us.
So next time you have a powerful inspiring devotional consider sharing it with someone and maybe you will receive a blessing too. (You don't have to write a song, unless you feel the inspiration to do so).
Recently though, there has been a song in particular that has really touched my heart. The words are exactly how I feel in this time of my life. The song is by a group of 4 Canadian Christian men, aptly named Downhere. The song was actually written as a prayer, by the co lead singer/ song writer Jason Germain. The song is from the album "The End is the Beginning," and is titled "Here I am".
The second verse really touches me and speaks to where my heart is in the healing and trusting in Jesus. Just a day or so after the miscarriage, I would hear this song on the radio and the tears would start streaming down my checks during this verse. I find so much peace, comfort and encouragement knowing God has all the pieces and knows how they fit together and has a plan and a purpose for ALL of our lives.
The chorus:
Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan,
Here I am
When setbacks and failures, and upset plans
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands
Are You not the closest when it's hardest to stand
I know that you will finish what You began
And these broken parts You will redeem
Become the song that I can sing
Chorus
Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness
And the fear that I'll fail You in the end
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but You can
Chorus
If you have not heard it or would like to you can Google it and see a concert version on You-tube.
I identify with the lyrics b/c of how I feel they relate to my own current state of mind. I have to admit that the Christian music has really influenced my healing and strengthened my heart and mind towards trusting and obeying God and his word. I remembering hearing about undergrads who conducted studies on how music can have or has a healing effect on people. I know that it is important to use caution on what we see and hear b/c it can influence us in unimaginable ways. The thought that what goes in can produce good or bad in us and can influences others as it makes it's way out of us and into the world we live.
Encouraging you to listen and focus your attention on God and things that will build you up and pull you closer to your creator, the Almighty God and Gracious Redeemer Jesus.
What is so inspiring about Christian music, are the messages that the artists convey. This is done not only in music/lyrics but with instrumental talent. The inspiration is actually drawn from thoughts they have during their quiet times with the LORD. These gifted song writers not only receive a blessing from their devotions but also through sharing those intimate moments of God's inspiration with us.
So next time you have a powerful inspiring devotional consider sharing it with someone and maybe you will receive a blessing too. (You don't have to write a song, unless you feel the inspiration to do so).
Saturday, January 31, 2009
The Word of God is Healing.
Psalm 39:7
"And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.
Psalm 39:
"Hear my prayer, O Lord, And give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears; For I am a stranger with You, A sojourner, as all my fathers were.
Psalm 85 :9-13
9. Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him, That glory may dwell in our land.
10. Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.
11. Truth shall spring out of the earth, And righteousness shall look down from heaven.
12. Yes, the Lord will give what is good; And our land will yield its increase.
13. Righteousness will go before Him, And shall make His footsteps our pathway.
Ecclesiastes 3:14
I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him.
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 16:33
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.''
Romans 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
8:37
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
Romans 15:13
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
James 3:18
Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Here are just a few verses that have given me comfort and peace. So often why we struggle through our trials is b/c we can not seem to find peace and contentment. What we are looking for is found right before us in God's word. I am so Thankful to have the Bible so close for encouragement and guidance.
I want to apologize for not posting earlier in the month before my miscarriage. I know that some people tend to step away when they struggle through something. I however reach out for encouragement and support. I know that what makes healing possible is seeking help, especially from those who have even possibly been on the road I am currently traveling. One thing I have learned is that experience is a teacher. So if you have encouraged me b/c of your experience or given support through thoughts or through prayer. Thank You.
Healing is not complete, until we surrender to God and trust in HIS timing for everything to be reconciled and restored to his perfect will and plan.
My Prayer:
Thank You Heavenly Father for your love, constant peace and comfort through these tough moments in life. Knowing you are not only close by, but holding us through these difficult trials. Making the healing all the more comforting b/c in you we rest in having hope and victory eternally. Thank You Jesus.
"And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.
Psalm 39:
"Hear my prayer, O Lord, And give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears; For I am a stranger with You, A sojourner, as all my fathers were.
Psalm 85 :9-13
9. Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him, That glory may dwell in our land.
10. Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.
11. Truth shall spring out of the earth, And righteousness shall look down from heaven.
12. Yes, the Lord will give what is good; And our land will yield its increase.
13. Righteousness will go before Him, And shall make His footsteps our pathway.
Ecclesiastes 3:14
I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him.
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 16:33
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.''
Romans 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
8:37
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
Romans 15:13
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
James 3:18
Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Here are just a few verses that have given me comfort and peace. So often why we struggle through our trials is b/c we can not seem to find peace and contentment. What we are looking for is found right before us in God's word. I am so Thankful to have the Bible so close for encouragement and guidance.
I want to apologize for not posting earlier in the month before my miscarriage. I know that some people tend to step away when they struggle through something. I however reach out for encouragement and support. I know that what makes healing possible is seeking help, especially from those who have even possibly been on the road I am currently traveling. One thing I have learned is that experience is a teacher. So if you have encouraged me b/c of your experience or given support through thoughts or through prayer. Thank You.
Healing is not complete, until we surrender to God and trust in HIS timing for everything to be reconciled and restored to his perfect will and plan.
My Prayer:
Thank You Heavenly Father for your love, constant peace and comfort through these tough moments in life. Knowing you are not only close by, but holding us through these difficult trials. Making the healing all the more comforting b/c in you we rest in having hope and victory eternally. Thank You Jesus.
Sacrifical Love.
As wives and mothers we usually put ourselves last. Everyone's needs are met and fulfilled before we even begin to care for ourselves. I am like that and probably most of my friends who are moms and wives would agree.
Why are we like that? Is is b/c we don't think about our needs, No. Is it b/c our families are so demanding we just have to get them off our backs by caring for them first, maybe. But could it be that we are just sacrificing our own needs briefly b/c we care so deeply and so much for our families. YES.
I dearly love everyone of my children completely and totally equally. I could not tell you which child is my favorite. I could not tell you which one I would miss more if they were not in my life. I could not tell you who loves me more b/c they all show me their love in there own individual way.
I also whole heartedly love my dh so much that I do not think I could withstand any trial or struggle with out him by my side. I have grown to love him so much more today than yesterday. Our relationship has really matured in the past 6-7 yrs than any other time. I know and believe it is all b/c of God.
It is b/c of God's love for us that we can even understand what true love is. Or even how to love the ones he has given us. Jesus in our example to be the best wives, mothers, helpmets and caregivers. He has shown us through his ministry how to teach those we care about. How to show how much we care, by putting others first. He has shown us how much we can recieve by giving of our selves, our time, and our hearts.
I know that God has a purpose for all of our lives. We quiet possibly do not know what that is. That is perfectly planned that way. God wants us to be surprised by how he plans to care, teach, love us through his word and actions of love toward us. (Also through faith and trust in HIM).
Sometimes it is hard to see or understand this. I even had a struggle with that myself. Especially when we feel he has treated us unjustly. I know that it is our human nature to look at the bad and feel sorry for ourselves. I know that sometimes a pity party seems enjoyable. Not so to God. It does not matter what we think we should have. He knows us better than we know ourselves, he knows what is best and sees what path is best for us even when we can not.
I struggle not just with grief b/c of the miscarriage, but with other feelings of sadness, enviousness and jealousy. I see others who either have little babies or are pregnant and just sink b/c in my mind I want that back. I hear over the grocery store intercom the advertisement of items and how beneficial they are to a pregnant mother and helping her have a great pregnancy. I just wonder if those advertisers realize that not all mothers are in control of what happens while they are pregnant. I know it is the hardest thought a mother has after a miscarriage, "what did I do wrong to cause this"? Why do we always suspect we are at fault? Could it just be that God knows what we need and granted that for us without consulting us. Does God even have to get our approval when he decides to work out his will in our lives?
My biggest thing is that I want what I can not have. I want my baby, I want to feel my baby growing and kicking in side my belly. I want..I want... I want...
God says, "No or Not Now". "I have other plans for you my child", replies God. He knows the pain is great, but no matter what we feel we have lost, HE has lost more. He knows our sorrow and especially what it feels like to give up a child or a son. He has given more. Why b/c he truly loves us. He sacrifices for us b/c that is what true love does, it is sacrificial.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Jesus is the picture of true love. God is the best example of a sacrificing parent. Beautiful!
Why are we like that? Is is b/c we don't think about our needs, No. Is it b/c our families are so demanding we just have to get them off our backs by caring for them first, maybe. But could it be that we are just sacrificing our own needs briefly b/c we care so deeply and so much for our families. YES.
I dearly love everyone of my children completely and totally equally. I could not tell you which child is my favorite. I could not tell you which one I would miss more if they were not in my life. I could not tell you who loves me more b/c they all show me their love in there own individual way.
I also whole heartedly love my dh so much that I do not think I could withstand any trial or struggle with out him by my side. I have grown to love him so much more today than yesterday. Our relationship has really matured in the past 6-7 yrs than any other time. I know and believe it is all b/c of God.
It is b/c of God's love for us that we can even understand what true love is. Or even how to love the ones he has given us. Jesus in our example to be the best wives, mothers, helpmets and caregivers. He has shown us through his ministry how to teach those we care about. How to show how much we care, by putting others first. He has shown us how much we can recieve by giving of our selves, our time, and our hearts.
I know that God has a purpose for all of our lives. We quiet possibly do not know what that is. That is perfectly planned that way. God wants us to be surprised by how he plans to care, teach, love us through his word and actions of love toward us. (Also through faith and trust in HIM).
Sometimes it is hard to see or understand this. I even had a struggle with that myself. Especially when we feel he has treated us unjustly. I know that it is our human nature to look at the bad and feel sorry for ourselves. I know that sometimes a pity party seems enjoyable. Not so to God. It does not matter what we think we should have. He knows us better than we know ourselves, he knows what is best and sees what path is best for us even when we can not.
I struggle not just with grief b/c of the miscarriage, but with other feelings of sadness, enviousness and jealousy. I see others who either have little babies or are pregnant and just sink b/c in my mind I want that back. I hear over the grocery store intercom the advertisement of items and how beneficial they are to a pregnant mother and helping her have a great pregnancy. I just wonder if those advertisers realize that not all mothers are in control of what happens while they are pregnant. I know it is the hardest thought a mother has after a miscarriage, "what did I do wrong to cause this"? Why do we always suspect we are at fault? Could it just be that God knows what we need and granted that for us without consulting us. Does God even have to get our approval when he decides to work out his will in our lives?
My biggest thing is that I want what I can not have. I want my baby, I want to feel my baby growing and kicking in side my belly. I want..I want... I want...
God says, "No or Not Now". "I have other plans for you my child", replies God. He knows the pain is great, but no matter what we feel we have lost, HE has lost more. He knows our sorrow and especially what it feels like to give up a child or a son. He has given more. Why b/c he truly loves us. He sacrifices for us b/c that is what true love does, it is sacrificial.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Jesus is the picture of true love. God is the best example of a sacrificing parent. Beautiful!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Movie Reveiws.
Wanted to share some movies that we have recently seen or have enjoyed some time ago. All would be good for the whole family to watch.
The first movie is "Belle and the Beast". It is a Christian family feature and has many great points to it. I really enjoyed it. Although the budget was not really high and the acting was not "Hollywood" the plot is great and the actors did a good job.
This movie expresses the values of sacrificing and putting others first. Hardships have hit in both of lead characters lives. It is how each one dealt with those tragedies that shows the "Heart" of the movie. The question this movie sparks is, "Who do you lean on when you have a struggle or hardship?" The answer should be "God". If it is not, then the road to recovery or complete healing will take much longer and may not even come at all. Not a permanent solution if God is not in the equation.
Since this is a Christian romantic movie, it might be good to check out around Valentines Day.
The next movie is "City of Ember". Now this in not a Christian movie, but it has a family aspect that is nice. It is PG and has no real bad situations except just a mole like creature that chases the two main characters once and then gets to the not so good mayor in the end.
The main two characters are young teens who are trying to figure out why their underground city is having power problems. It is kind of a mystery as to how they find the answers to their many questions. Their are only two main "Hollywood" known actors; Bill Murry, and Tim Robinson. Most of the other actors have had small roles in other movies but may not be to well known. The relationship between the young boy and girl does not seem to be to intimate. They trust and rely on each other and help one another to find the answers they seek. They actually find out the truth and share it with the whole city.
I really liked the plot. To me it is what we should be doing as Christians. Assisting one another in finding the answers and sharing the truth of our findings with the whole world or our corner of it.
My final movie is "Fire Proof" starring Kirk Cameron. Many things have been said about this movie considering it's objective. I can see this movie not just relative to marital relationships but relationships in general. I loved the mentoring closeness between the actor who played Kirk Camerons father and Kirk Cameron's character. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and so did my dh. Too be completely honest, we both cried about the gripping realistic relationship struggles and how we can personally relate to that in the movie.
Inside facets to why this movie was so great and has such an effect on the Christian and non-christian communities.
Kirk Cameron is the only well known actor in the movie. He actually did his contribution to the movie for Free.
The movie's budget was $500, 000. It grossed somewhere in the millions. That is with out DVD sales that will probably rise even higher.
There is a kissing scene between Kirk Cameron's character and the actress who plays his wife. Actually the kiss is not between Kirk Cameron and the actress who plays his wife, but between Kirk Cameron and his real wife, Chelsea Noble. Kirk Cameron has a conviction that he will not kiss or show any intimate affection to any women on screen since he is married and holds his commitment and vows sacred. So the movie worked around this in that the scene was shot in a shadow area and the view of the wife is not totally noticeable. Kirk Cameron's wife Chelsea was dressed like the actress for that one scene. She is probably a close resemblance to the actress who played the role of the wife.
Knowing that kind of makes the movie a little more special since the real "loving moment" of reconciliation in the movie is shared by a real married couple.
Hope you enjoy these movies. If you have any family movies you would like to suggest that would be wonderful.
The first movie is "Belle and the Beast". It is a Christian family feature and has many great points to it. I really enjoyed it. Although the budget was not really high and the acting was not "Hollywood" the plot is great and the actors did a good job.
This movie expresses the values of sacrificing and putting others first. Hardships have hit in both of lead characters lives. It is how each one dealt with those tragedies that shows the "Heart" of the movie. The question this movie sparks is, "Who do you lean on when you have a struggle or hardship?" The answer should be "God". If it is not, then the road to recovery or complete healing will take much longer and may not even come at all. Not a permanent solution if God is not in the equation.
Since this is a Christian romantic movie, it might be good to check out around Valentines Day.
The next movie is "City of Ember". Now this in not a Christian movie, but it has a family aspect that is nice. It is PG and has no real bad situations except just a mole like creature that chases the two main characters once and then gets to the not so good mayor in the end.
The main two characters are young teens who are trying to figure out why their underground city is having power problems. It is kind of a mystery as to how they find the answers to their many questions. Their are only two main "Hollywood" known actors; Bill Murry, and Tim Robinson. Most of the other actors have had small roles in other movies but may not be to well known. The relationship between the young boy and girl does not seem to be to intimate. They trust and rely on each other and help one another to find the answers they seek. They actually find out the truth and share it with the whole city.
I really liked the plot. To me it is what we should be doing as Christians. Assisting one another in finding the answers and sharing the truth of our findings with the whole world or our corner of it.
My final movie is "Fire Proof" starring Kirk Cameron. Many things have been said about this movie considering it's objective. I can see this movie not just relative to marital relationships but relationships in general. I loved the mentoring closeness between the actor who played Kirk Camerons father and Kirk Cameron's character. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and so did my dh. Too be completely honest, we both cried about the gripping realistic relationship struggles and how we can personally relate to that in the movie.
Inside facets to why this movie was so great and has such an effect on the Christian and non-christian communities.
Kirk Cameron is the only well known actor in the movie. He actually did his contribution to the movie for Free.
The movie's budget was $500, 000. It grossed somewhere in the millions. That is with out DVD sales that will probably rise even higher.
There is a kissing scene between Kirk Cameron's character and the actress who plays his wife. Actually the kiss is not between Kirk Cameron and the actress who plays his wife, but between Kirk Cameron and his real wife, Chelsea Noble. Kirk Cameron has a conviction that he will not kiss or show any intimate affection to any women on screen since he is married and holds his commitment and vows sacred. So the movie worked around this in that the scene was shot in a shadow area and the view of the wife is not totally noticeable. Kirk Cameron's wife Chelsea was dressed like the actress for that one scene. She is probably a close resemblance to the actress who played the role of the wife.
Knowing that kind of makes the movie a little more special since the real "loving moment" of reconciliation in the movie is shared by a real married couple.
Hope you enjoy these movies. If you have any family movies you would like to suggest that would be wonderful.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Opening our Home and Hearts.
I have wanted to share this story for a while now, but just did not know how to. Well prayerfully I have given this over to God in hope that He will be glorified by everything shared.
I do not know about you, or how you look at your life or life's purpose. I look at my life and life's purpose is to Serve and Honor God. I am not perfect in how I do this. I pray and try to allow God to use me in any capacity that he chooses.
Here is my story and experience how God blessed me and my family and allowed us to be blessings too.
In April of 2008 a friend of mine asked me and my dh if we would consider sheltering her/their daughter. She explained to me certain circumstances and in prayerful consideration my dh and I agreed that God wanted us to allow him to use us in this way.
So Beth came to stay with us in late April. She was a quiet spirit who seemed to have lots of hidden areas of her heart. In just a short time I began to realize some of the issues that made her so guarded. For a great part of her short life she has had to face many different trials.
One of these was being rejected by so many people. Beth was adopted by my friend and dh and family when she was almost 10. Before then, she was shuffled to homes that were never a permanent solution.
Broken and in much need of unconditional love, and forgiveness Beth arrived to assist me in household chores and caring for my children. Little did I know how God had designed for her and her purpose in my life. Through many opportunities God gave me, I tried to encourage and build up her spirit and heart to trust and rely on God. I know God had his hand all over us and her while she was with us.
At the time Beth arrived and stayed with us, my youngest daughter (child) was 7 months old. Beth was in so much need of love and unconditional love. Something little babies are really good at. Beth responded so well to Jehosheba's love and need for her to love her back. I believe that was God's purpose in allowing those two to have a bond that helped both of them in their crucial development.
Through the short time Beth was with us we included her in our family. We treated her like one of our own children. Loved her as though she was from our flesh. Everyone showed Beth respect and love that I believe helped her to see how God looks at her. We realized early on that what Beth needed was not just love or unconditional love with hugs but affirmation in words. Beth needed to be praised, appreciated and reassured that she is a very precious gift from God. I spent a lot of one on one time with Beth. She was like my shadow, where I went she came along. She and I were able to share things in quiet conversation that allowed both of us healing in our hearts.
I realized that Beth is a beautiful young woman. A young woman God has many purposes for, and that God will continue to use in a mighty way. That God's purpose was not for me to be used and serve him and to be a blessing to Beth and her parents, but for Beth to be a blessing to me and my family.
When we were notified of Beth's departure it was bitter sweet. We knew God's timing was and is perfect. We were just so sadden to say "good bye". In the 5 short months Beth stayed with us we realized how much we loved her. Not b/c of anyone thing she did or gave, but b/c of who she was to us. It was difficult for me and my family to let her go, but we were letting her go into God's hands.
It was two weeks after Beth left that I concieved our little Ezekiel. In knowing God had blessed me to create a new life, I felt less sadened to Beth's departure. Little did I know that God was going to have his perfect will in my pregnancy. In a strange and sad way I feel the sadness even deeper b/c I don't have Beth to share this with. Even though Beth was only 15/16 years old, she had a listening heart that made her so easy to talk to, listen to and love.
I pray for Beth and her parents and family and God's will and hand be in all of their lives. I know God does not make mistakes. He had a purpose for allowing Beth and little Eziekiel in our lives. Unaware of what that purpose is/ was. I am very thankful to God for allowing us the opportunity to share in the joy of both of their lives.
I am resolved to this one simple thought. Whatever God allows to happen to me, or use me for His purpose, I will gladly be available. Even if it may not end the way I would like or with sorrow or sadness, I will gladly be available. No matter the journey or the outcome, God I am yours use me as you will.
A vessel ready to be used and poured out for HIS GLORY,
Crystal
I do not know about you, or how you look at your life or life's purpose. I look at my life and life's purpose is to Serve and Honor God. I am not perfect in how I do this. I pray and try to allow God to use me in any capacity that he chooses.
Here is my story and experience how God blessed me and my family and allowed us to be blessings too.
In April of 2008 a friend of mine asked me and my dh if we would consider sheltering her/their daughter. She explained to me certain circumstances and in prayerful consideration my dh and I agreed that God wanted us to allow him to use us in this way.
So Beth came to stay with us in late April. She was a quiet spirit who seemed to have lots of hidden areas of her heart. In just a short time I began to realize some of the issues that made her so guarded. For a great part of her short life she has had to face many different trials.
One of these was being rejected by so many people. Beth was adopted by my friend and dh and family when she was almost 10. Before then, she was shuffled to homes that were never a permanent solution.
Broken and in much need of unconditional love, and forgiveness Beth arrived to assist me in household chores and caring for my children. Little did I know how God had designed for her and her purpose in my life. Through many opportunities God gave me, I tried to encourage and build up her spirit and heart to trust and rely on God. I know God had his hand all over us and her while she was with us.
At the time Beth arrived and stayed with us, my youngest daughter (child) was 7 months old. Beth was in so much need of love and unconditional love. Something little babies are really good at. Beth responded so well to Jehosheba's love and need for her to love her back. I believe that was God's purpose in allowing those two to have a bond that helped both of them in their crucial development.
Through the short time Beth was with us we included her in our family. We treated her like one of our own children. Loved her as though she was from our flesh. Everyone showed Beth respect and love that I believe helped her to see how God looks at her. We realized early on that what Beth needed was not just love or unconditional love with hugs but affirmation in words. Beth needed to be praised, appreciated and reassured that she is a very precious gift from God. I spent a lot of one on one time with Beth. She was like my shadow, where I went she came along. She and I were able to share things in quiet conversation that allowed both of us healing in our hearts.
I realized that Beth is a beautiful young woman. A young woman God has many purposes for, and that God will continue to use in a mighty way. That God's purpose was not for me to be used and serve him and to be a blessing to Beth and her parents, but for Beth to be a blessing to me and my family.
When we were notified of Beth's departure it was bitter sweet. We knew God's timing was and is perfect. We were just so sadden to say "good bye". In the 5 short months Beth stayed with us we realized how much we loved her. Not b/c of anyone thing she did or gave, but b/c of who she was to us. It was difficult for me and my family to let her go, but we were letting her go into God's hands.
It was two weeks after Beth left that I concieved our little Ezekiel. In knowing God had blessed me to create a new life, I felt less sadened to Beth's departure. Little did I know that God was going to have his perfect will in my pregnancy. In a strange and sad way I feel the sadness even deeper b/c I don't have Beth to share this with. Even though Beth was only 15/16 years old, she had a listening heart that made her so easy to talk to, listen to and love.
I pray for Beth and her parents and family and God's will and hand be in all of their lives. I know God does not make mistakes. He had a purpose for allowing Beth and little Eziekiel in our lives. Unaware of what that purpose is/ was. I am very thankful to God for allowing us the opportunity to share in the joy of both of their lives.
I am resolved to this one simple thought. Whatever God allows to happen to me, or use me for His purpose, I will gladly be available. Even if it may not end the way I would like or with sorrow or sadness, I will gladly be available. No matter the journey or the outcome, God I am yours use me as you will.
A vessel ready to be used and poured out for HIS GLORY,
Crystal
Music is Healing.
I just wanted to share a couple songs that have really touched my heart and have helped my heart heal through this difficult time.
Something I have learned from this first song is that NO matter what we go through in life, our reaction should always be to "Praise the Lord". I know it is not usually one of our first reactions nor does it come easy. I think that usually praising God comes after so many other grief emotions. I am learning though as tough as our trials and struggles may be, God still loves us.
Praise you in the storm by Casting Crowns
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus
This next song has brought me so much comfort b/c it describes how we feel or our emotional reaction to life's unexpected trials and yet through all Jesus is holding us. Knowing that we are not alone and that our Savior has us firmly in his hands. The safest place to be in the hands of our Almighty God.
I really enjoy listening to the radio in the kitchen and all through out the house. I prefer Christian music b/c of the effect it has on my spirit and attitude. I specifically enjoy KLOVE. You can find a radio station just about anywhere you live. Or look on the web at their web site, Klove.com. They have a streaming audio that is really nice too.
Blessing for your healing. Remember true healing comes only from one source. God and Jesus who can heal all wounds.
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever.
Amen
Something I have learned from this first song is that NO matter what we go through in life, our reaction should always be to "Praise the Lord". I know it is not usually one of our first reactions nor does it come easy. I think that usually praising God comes after so many other grief emotions. I am learning though as tough as our trials and struggles may be, God still loves us.
Praise you in the storm by Casting Crowns
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus
This next song has brought me so much comfort b/c it describes how we feel or our emotional reaction to life's unexpected trials and yet through all Jesus is holding us. Knowing that we are not alone and that our Savior has us firmly in his hands. The safest place to be in the hands of our Almighty God.
I really enjoy listening to the radio in the kitchen and all through out the house. I prefer Christian music b/c of the effect it has on my spirit and attitude. I specifically enjoy KLOVE. You can find a radio station just about anywhere you live. Or look on the web at their web site, Klove.com. They have a streaming audio that is really nice too.
Blessing for your healing. Remember true healing comes only from one source. God and Jesus who can heal all wounds.
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever.
Amen
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