I hope this is finding everyone adjusting to the New Year well. I know that January is almost over and I have not posted anything in several months. I have been trying to keep my computer time limited. I have not forgotten about all of my friends who read my blog from time to time. I felt it necessary to focus on my family. Through God's guidance I feel he has allowed me to honor him with my decision.
My last post was the announcement of my current pregnancy. I am blessed to share all is going well and today marks the start of my 28 week. Our little one is active and very much healthy and growing. Our family is also doing well. We are so very thankful to the Lord for his faithfulness and blessings each day!
May the love, joy and peace of Jesus guide you and bless you and your family today.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Exciting News!
Just wanted to share some encouraging and exciting news with all of my sweet sisters of faith. A couple of weeks ago I found out that I am expecting another wonderful blessing. Of course I am thrilled. Not focusing on the past but wholly leaning and trusting in the Lord. I am currently feeling all the nausea and morning sickness feelings which is normal or par for me. We told the children right off and they were pretty happy. Our due date is April 29, 2010. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.
Not knowing what the future holds means Faith is all the more important. I think sometimes Faith is underestimated. I like to think about the example of faith from the Bible to encourage my faith as well.
For instance, Abraham had great Faith to leave his country and family and move long distance away with only his wife and nephew. Then when God told him how plentiful his descendants would be and yet he and Sarah had not one son yet. Finally when Abraham was told by God to sacrifice his son Issac, he Faithfully started to obey. Until God called out and prevented Abraham and spared Issac's life for the ram instead. (The story of Abram/ Abraham are found in Genesis 11 towards the end and through Genesis 22.)
I ask my self these rhetorical questions. Could I be willing to move a long distance away with only my immediate family to a country where I know no one? Then could I faithfully obey God to the point where it may cost me the most precious life of my child? I would hope my answers would be Yes. Faith usually asks the most of us b/c by sheer obedience to God we become stronger in our Faith. Thus Faith becomes easier to have or to use in every situation.
I also think about Peter and his faith. I know Peter gets a bad wrap b/c he had so many situations where faith wasn't his strong suit early one. Of course who could forget the walking on the water example. Brave enough to ask Jesus to allow him to go to him out on the water yet foolish enough to allow the wind and waves and his fear to loose his focus on Jesus and begin to sink.
Matthew 14:30-31 But seeing the wind, he became afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!"
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"" Yet at the end Peter seemed to exude as a purely Faithful follower and servant to the King!
1 Peter 1:3-9 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,
who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,
that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,
obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.
Just some thoughts on Faith. I hope they are encouraging to you as I have found them to be to me.
Praying that your faith continues to grow and strengthen. Just as God continues to give opportunities to show and share our Faith.
Not knowing what the future holds means Faith is all the more important. I think sometimes Faith is underestimated. I like to think about the example of faith from the Bible to encourage my faith as well.
For instance, Abraham had great Faith to leave his country and family and move long distance away with only his wife and nephew. Then when God told him how plentiful his descendants would be and yet he and Sarah had not one son yet. Finally when Abraham was told by God to sacrifice his son Issac, he Faithfully started to obey. Until God called out and prevented Abraham and spared Issac's life for the ram instead. (The story of Abram/ Abraham are found in Genesis 11 towards the end and through Genesis 22.)
I ask my self these rhetorical questions. Could I be willing to move a long distance away with only my immediate family to a country where I know no one? Then could I faithfully obey God to the point where it may cost me the most precious life of my child? I would hope my answers would be Yes. Faith usually asks the most of us b/c by sheer obedience to God we become stronger in our Faith. Thus Faith becomes easier to have or to use in every situation.
I also think about Peter and his faith. I know Peter gets a bad wrap b/c he had so many situations where faith wasn't his strong suit early one. Of course who could forget the walking on the water example. Brave enough to ask Jesus to allow him to go to him out on the water yet foolish enough to allow the wind and waves and his fear to loose his focus on Jesus and begin to sink.
Matthew 14:30-31 But seeing the wind, he became afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!"
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"" Yet at the end Peter seemed to exude as a purely Faithful follower and servant to the King!
1 Peter 1:3-9 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you,
who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,
that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,
obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.
Just some thoughts on Faith. I hope they are encouraging to you as I have found them to be to me.
Praying that your faith continues to grow and strengthen. Just as God continues to give opportunities to show and share our Faith.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Choosing Joy.
Have you ever realized when you really need to hear a message from God he usually doesn't disappoint. About a week ago God revealed his truth to me through my nightly devotional with my children.
I had a really tough day and was glad it was almost over. I sat down to read the nightly devotional to my children when God revealed a message to me. The title of the devotional was "Be Happy Hearted". The verse was Proverbs 17:22 A happy heart is like good medicine. But a broken spirit drains your strength." I was stunned. I actually realized that it wasn't just that day but for many months I have felt "Unhappy" or having the lack of "JOY" in my life. I had been dealing with a lot of things and not really dealing with but allowing them to affect my spirit and attitude. I wasn't allowing the Joy of the Lord to be my strength. Rather my spirit was breaking or broken and my strength was being drained. Immediately I got the message. I thanked the Lord for showing me that although life has it's difficulties, choosing to be Happy in the midst of trials is a reflection of HIS spirit inside of me.
So for future reference I am going to choose Joy. I know it seems bleak at times with as many trials and difficulties we face daily. Just knowing though, that when this life is over if we have lived a life of choosing Joy then we will have something wonderful to look forward to. Just knowing Jesus loves me and is always near gives me peace and hope to help me endure whatever trail or situation I encounter.
As a side note, I have to mention the Veggie Tale story that fits with this passage also. Madame Blueberry has a house in a tree. One day the Stuff Mart sets up a store just down the path from her house. She is not a very "happy" Blueberry b/c all of her friends have nicer things than she. So she sets out with her two helpers, Bob and Larry to visit the Stuff Mart. Immediately she discovers all sorts of items her friends have that she just has to have herself. She proceeds to get the stuff and have it delivered by the french peas. On two separate occasions she is confronted with the idea of having a happy heart. Unfortunately Madame Blueberry learns a little too late about having a happy heart. Sadly her house ends up a pile of smashed sticks. But Madame Blueberry finally understands that happiness is having a happy heart and is more important than having things.
Having a Happy Heart is a choice. It is being content and thankful to God for all he has given and all he will give. Knowing that it is not what we possess physically that is important, but rather what we possess spiritually is what is important.
I had a really tough day and was glad it was almost over. I sat down to read the nightly devotional to my children when God revealed a message to me. The title of the devotional was "Be Happy Hearted". The verse was Proverbs 17:22 A happy heart is like good medicine. But a broken spirit drains your strength." I was stunned. I actually realized that it wasn't just that day but for many months I have felt "Unhappy" or having the lack of "JOY" in my life. I had been dealing with a lot of things and not really dealing with but allowing them to affect my spirit and attitude. I wasn't allowing the Joy of the Lord to be my strength. Rather my spirit was breaking or broken and my strength was being drained. Immediately I got the message. I thanked the Lord for showing me that although life has it's difficulties, choosing to be Happy in the midst of trials is a reflection of HIS spirit inside of me.
So for future reference I am going to choose Joy. I know it seems bleak at times with as many trials and difficulties we face daily. Just knowing though, that when this life is over if we have lived a life of choosing Joy then we will have something wonderful to look forward to. Just knowing Jesus loves me and is always near gives me peace and hope to help me endure whatever trail or situation I encounter.
As a side note, I have to mention the Veggie Tale story that fits with this passage also. Madame Blueberry has a house in a tree. One day the Stuff Mart sets up a store just down the path from her house. She is not a very "happy" Blueberry b/c all of her friends have nicer things than she. So she sets out with her two helpers, Bob and Larry to visit the Stuff Mart. Immediately she discovers all sorts of items her friends have that she just has to have herself. She proceeds to get the stuff and have it delivered by the french peas. On two separate occasions she is confronted with the idea of having a happy heart. Unfortunately Madame Blueberry learns a little too late about having a happy heart. Sadly her house ends up a pile of smashed sticks. But Madame Blueberry finally understands that happiness is having a happy heart and is more important than having things.
Having a Happy Heart is a choice. It is being content and thankful to God for all he has given and all he will give. Knowing that it is not what we possess physically that is important, but rather what we possess spiritually is what is important.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Enjoyed a wonderful Summer.
I took a little time off to enjoy the Alaskan summer with my wonderful family. We spent many outings at the park running and playing. Enjoyed many walks and bike rides and getting plenty of exercise. We visited the Alaska zoo a few times and always seem to enjoy the animals and exercise of walking around the entire zoo. Although we tend to be very quick about it. A visit usually only takes us about 45 minutes. Alaska usually has a very sunny May,June and July. In August and September our sunshine decreases and our rain increases. We are enjoying the beginning of our fall. The leaves are falling off the trees and the temperatures are also falling. We know that it is only 6-8 more weeks til the snow flies.
I hope everyone else has also enjoyed their summer. As Fall approaches, my prayer for you and each of your families is a renewed faith in Jesus. A walk with God that refreshes and strengthens each relationship you have. I earnestly pray that whatever struggle you may be facing right now, that Yahweh holds you close and guides you through as you faithfully trust in His Will and word.
Lately I have had some challenges that have lead me to a similar prayer. The struggles I have been facing seemed to really try my faith and challenge my walk. I knew the only way to overcome the struggle was to completely "let go" and totally trust in God's will for my life and my family. Sometimes letting go can be the hardest step to take. Ultimately though, we find that letting go frees us to not being in control and feeling enslaved to our emotions and controlled by our flesh. I am so thankful to God for his complete consistent unconditional love and strength. He is our Rock and Firm Foundation.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I thoroughly enjoy reading your comments and appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Thank you to all of my dear sisters in the Lord.
(Be looking for more frequent posts.) Blessings in Jesus. May your day be filled with Joy and your walk with the Lord be Sweeter than ever!
~Crystal
I hope everyone else has also enjoyed their summer. As Fall approaches, my prayer for you and each of your families is a renewed faith in Jesus. A walk with God that refreshes and strengthens each relationship you have. I earnestly pray that whatever struggle you may be facing right now, that Yahweh holds you close and guides you through as you faithfully trust in His Will and word.
Lately I have had some challenges that have lead me to a similar prayer. The struggles I have been facing seemed to really try my faith and challenge my walk. I knew the only way to overcome the struggle was to completely "let go" and totally trust in God's will for my life and my family. Sometimes letting go can be the hardest step to take. Ultimately though, we find that letting go frees us to not being in control and feeling enslaved to our emotions and controlled by our flesh. I am so thankful to God for his complete consistent unconditional love and strength. He is our Rock and Firm Foundation.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I thoroughly enjoy reading your comments and appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Thank you to all of my dear sisters in the Lord.
(Be looking for more frequent posts.) Blessings in Jesus. May your day be filled with Joy and your walk with the Lord be Sweeter than ever!
~Crystal
Monday, June 29, 2009
Pregnancy Update.
I first would like to say "Thank you" to everyone who was praying for me. I am sad to share that I am no longer pregnant. I miscarried early on and had an ultrasound reveal no lingering remnants. Another precious little one is waiting me in Glory. My heart is saddened, yet my spirit is up lifted. I know that God's plans are Supreme and have a reason and purpose. I have yet to find out exactly what those are. In the meantime I am not going to lose heart or Faith. I am going to keep on trusting in my Lord and whatever plans he has for me.
I have been told recently by several people who are concerned for me, to "take a break" and let my "body heal". I know that these are words meant to comfort and help me look at how my body may not be able at the moment to keep on doing what it is doing. I know it sounds bad having two miscarriages in 4 or 5 months time, but it's not like I intended it to happen or even planned it. They just happen. God allows miscarriages to just happen. It's his plan and he allows them.
I believe God could spare us the grief of not having to endure these moments of sadness. Instead though he allows them to happen to teach or show us something about HIM. I have learned to not listen to the council of those who are not advising using the Word or Bible. It is so easy for even Christians to allow the World to influence our advice or our decisions. If we allow our good christian council to be corrupted by the world what does that say of our Faith. I know that the easy way would be to listen and let my body have break. My spirit says otherwise.
I have decided to allow God to be in control. To fully and completely trust in God. I have also decided to take my mind off of possibly having another baby and giving my concerns and desires over to the Lord. I want to allow my focus to be where God wants it to be. I am going to enjoy the 6 blessings God has given me while I wait and see if he decides to bless me with more. After all God can close and open the womb.
I am going to let God have control, and let God be God! After all there is no other God like Him.
I do appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts of concern. I am deeply blessed to have such wonderful friends and sister's in the Lord.
I have been told recently by several people who are concerned for me, to "take a break" and let my "body heal". I know that these are words meant to comfort and help me look at how my body may not be able at the moment to keep on doing what it is doing. I know it sounds bad having two miscarriages in 4 or 5 months time, but it's not like I intended it to happen or even planned it. They just happen. God allows miscarriages to just happen. It's his plan and he allows them.
I believe God could spare us the grief of not having to endure these moments of sadness. Instead though he allows them to happen to teach or show us something about HIM. I have learned to not listen to the council of those who are not advising using the Word or Bible. It is so easy for even Christians to allow the World to influence our advice or our decisions. If we allow our good christian council to be corrupted by the world what does that say of our Faith. I know that the easy way would be to listen and let my body have break. My spirit says otherwise.
I have decided to allow God to be in control. To fully and completely trust in God. I have also decided to take my mind off of possibly having another baby and giving my concerns and desires over to the Lord. I want to allow my focus to be where God wants it to be. I am going to enjoy the 6 blessings God has given me while I wait and see if he decides to bless me with more. After all God can close and open the womb.
I am going to let God have control, and let God be God! After all there is no other God like Him.
I do appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts of concern. I am deeply blessed to have such wonderful friends and sister's in the Lord.
Friday, May 29, 2009
My Birthday Wish
For those of you who did not know, yesterday was my Birthday (May 28th). I don't mind sharing my age of 37, rather I am very blessed to have been able to celebrate this many birthdays. I am so thankful for the years God has given to me. More importantly the children God has allowed to come from my life and body. I feel that being a mother, something I have always desired and dreamed of has been one of my biggest joys and blessings.
My day did not start out as well as I had hoped. Many of you know of my pregnancy. Well I am now 10 full weeks pregnant and yesterday May 27 I started spotting again. My second time in this pregnancy. I may have over exerted myself on Tuesday when I took my children to the Zoo.
I woke up in the middle of the night with signs of bleeding and feeling of rapid heart rate. I knew I really needed to relax and most importantly relinquish my concerns and fears over to the Lord. I did so and began to praise God while trying to rest. Sing songs of praise and joy made my body more at peace and gave comfort to my spirit. Resting in my knowledge of knowing God's plans are supreme. I serve a Sovereign God and all my fears are gone.
I was also troubled by another concern weighing heavily on my heart. I have previously mentioned that my parents are divorced and my mother was planning her remarriage early this month. I was not in support of the remarriage b/c of my convictions concerning what the bible speaks about divorce and remarriage. I have not been in any communication with my mother for the past several months. Our relationship has been distant since I voiced my concerns at the end of last year. I believe in speaking the truth, even when the truth is not being followed or spoken by others. I knew by speaking the truth it would separate us even more than we already were. I just did not realize how emotionally affected I would become.
I did receive Birthday calls from both of my parents. I know that they both care, but my concern was deeper than that. I know that b/c of my convictions and lifestyle, my relationships with my parents has not grown but shrunk. In fact my relationship with my mother, was not really that close even while my parents marriage was intact. My dh says it is b\c of my convictions and that I am a reminder to her of what she knows is right and yet does not follow. Maybe, all I know is that my heart desires a closeness with my mother that God does not seem to allow. I am the only child out of the 4 she had that believes and lives according to the Bible. I have been rejected and continue to be rejected b/c of my faith and convictions. It is so emotionally hurtful and distressing to my heart. I know that God gave me my mother for a reason yet I still do not understand why. I wish she could see what a wonderful young woman I have become. A woman of noble character living by faith in Jesus. If only she could support and be available to show concern especially in moments like now. If only she could be so thankful to have me and my precious children in her life, but sadly she's not. These tender years only last a short while and sadly she is missing out on my little girls lives. Her presence is only there through cards on the holidays and random phone calls through the year.
Honestly, I shared these feelings with the Lord and told him how I felt slighted. Why would be give me to woman who doesn't appreciate me or show real concern of time and energy of value toward me and my children. Have I become such a disappointment to her b/c of my faith that any kind of personal relationship is not possible? Then it was as if God was speaking audible, that I heard him reply, "My dear child, I am your heavenly father and I am doing all of that and more, am I not enough?" I felt so ashamed for feeling selfish yet in that moment I could see how much love God has for me and continues to show me. A joy came over me and then I knew my desires for an affirming parental love were already established with my Father God. The desires for my mother were of the flesh and though they seem important may not be achieved unless there is a heart change. Being affirmed by God my father and his Love, is all that I need.
One thing I am sure of, perfect Love casts out all fear. God's love is not one that is rejecting or shows favoritism. Instead it is a love that is affirming, building up accepting to all even those who seem to not deserve it. God's love is ever reaching, ever encompassing, and everlasting. God's love Never Fails.
1 Corinthians 13
1. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4. Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5. does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6. does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
9. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part;
10. but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
11. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
12. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known.
13. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 John 4:18-19
18. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
19. We love, because He first loved us.
I want to share that although my Birthday is officially over, I am blessed to say I have received my Birthday Wish. Thank You to God my Heavenly Father, for being and showing me HIS affirming Love.
My day did not start out as well as I had hoped. Many of you know of my pregnancy. Well I am now 10 full weeks pregnant and yesterday May 27 I started spotting again. My second time in this pregnancy. I may have over exerted myself on Tuesday when I took my children to the Zoo.
I woke up in the middle of the night with signs of bleeding and feeling of rapid heart rate. I knew I really needed to relax and most importantly relinquish my concerns and fears over to the Lord. I did so and began to praise God while trying to rest. Sing songs of praise and joy made my body more at peace and gave comfort to my spirit. Resting in my knowledge of knowing God's plans are supreme. I serve a Sovereign God and all my fears are gone.
I was also troubled by another concern weighing heavily on my heart. I have previously mentioned that my parents are divorced and my mother was planning her remarriage early this month. I was not in support of the remarriage b/c of my convictions concerning what the bible speaks about divorce and remarriage. I have not been in any communication with my mother for the past several months. Our relationship has been distant since I voiced my concerns at the end of last year. I believe in speaking the truth, even when the truth is not being followed or spoken by others. I knew by speaking the truth it would separate us even more than we already were. I just did not realize how emotionally affected I would become.
I did receive Birthday calls from both of my parents. I know that they both care, but my concern was deeper than that. I know that b/c of my convictions and lifestyle, my relationships with my parents has not grown but shrunk. In fact my relationship with my mother, was not really that close even while my parents marriage was intact. My dh says it is b\c of my convictions and that I am a reminder to her of what she knows is right and yet does not follow. Maybe, all I know is that my heart desires a closeness with my mother that God does not seem to allow. I am the only child out of the 4 she had that believes and lives according to the Bible. I have been rejected and continue to be rejected b/c of my faith and convictions. It is so emotionally hurtful and distressing to my heart. I know that God gave me my mother for a reason yet I still do not understand why. I wish she could see what a wonderful young woman I have become. A woman of noble character living by faith in Jesus. If only she could support and be available to show concern especially in moments like now. If only she could be so thankful to have me and my precious children in her life, but sadly she's not. These tender years only last a short while and sadly she is missing out on my little girls lives. Her presence is only there through cards on the holidays and random phone calls through the year.
Honestly, I shared these feelings with the Lord and told him how I felt slighted. Why would be give me to woman who doesn't appreciate me or show real concern of time and energy of value toward me and my children. Have I become such a disappointment to her b/c of my faith that any kind of personal relationship is not possible? Then it was as if God was speaking audible, that I heard him reply, "My dear child, I am your heavenly father and I am doing all of that and more, am I not enough?" I felt so ashamed for feeling selfish yet in that moment I could see how much love God has for me and continues to show me. A joy came over me and then I knew my desires for an affirming parental love were already established with my Father God. The desires for my mother were of the flesh and though they seem important may not be achieved unless there is a heart change. Being affirmed by God my father and his Love, is all that I need.
One thing I am sure of, perfect Love casts out all fear. God's love is not one that is rejecting or shows favoritism. Instead it is a love that is affirming, building up accepting to all even those who seem to not deserve it. God's love is ever reaching, ever encompassing, and everlasting. God's love Never Fails.
1 Corinthians 13
1. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
4. Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5. does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6. does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
9. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part;
10. but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
11. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
12. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known.
13. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 John 4:18-19
18. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
19. We love, because He first loved us.
I want to share that although my Birthday is officially over, I am blessed to say I have received my Birthday Wish. Thank You to God my Heavenly Father, for being and showing me HIS affirming Love.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Phinehas's Story. (Written on May 26 and published on May 29)
Today is my son Phinehas' Birthday. He is 11 years old today. Many of you do not know Phinehas, so I thought I would take a moment to introduce Phinehas to you . First let me share how special he is. I know most mothers will say how special their children are, but he is extremely special. Phinehas has autism. He has never been diagnosed, but if you are ever around him his specialness would be obvious. At the age of 18 -20 months he began regressing in his learning. He was progressing normally up to that point but began to regress shortly after receiving his final round of shots (immunizations). Many would disagree that the immunizations had any role in his change but as his mother I am convinced that they did. He is not your "normal" 11 year old. That is fine with me b/c he is just what God wants him to be very sweet and innocent.
Let me go back a year or so before Phinehas was born. I had been a nanny for a couple for several years. My two little children I cared for had moved away in May of 1997. At the beginning of the year my dh and I had decided to start "trying" to conceive. I was somewhat confused why we still had not been able to conceive. Still trusting in God and hoping he would bless my womb. My dh and I took a trip to England to visit some friends. A much needed vacation and kind of like a post-pone honeymoon. Shortly after our arrival home it was clear to me we were now in our ninth month of infertility. I started to become disappointed and somewhat bitter why God would not bless my womb. My dh Phil reminded me of one of his aunts. His aunt Kathy had also struggled with infertility. She also began to get embittered with God as to why she could not conceive. God revealed to her and she shared this with my husband some years later. God revealed to her that she needed to be thankful and completely trust Him. Holding on her bitterness only made her more stressed and worried about something she could not control. Her only option was to totally put her faith in Jesus. She began to do this and little did she know while God was changing her heart he was also preparing her for motherhood. At that very moment while aunt Kathy's heart began to transform into what God wanted it to be, her first son was being knit in her womb. She was unaware as most 1st time mothers are until a short time later. Her heart was overjoyed at the news but even more so knowing her heart had changed toward the Lord before she knew his plans for her new family. Well aunt Kathy was blessed 4 times all of her children were sons. Her and uncle Dale are now grandparents to 2 precious blessings.
After our vacation began temping as a nanny for a hiring out company. I started working for a family with one child, a new born baby boy. While I would familiarize my self with her son we would talk. We began a friendship that eventually lead to my being hired on permanently. I cared for her son and all the while still desiring my own.
September rolled around and my brother's Birthday was coming up fast. I wanted to make him an afghan but had work quickly. I began his afghan and finished it in 20 days. Pretty amazing since it was a queen size one. I work constantly on it while I cared for little Spencer and at home. It was during one of my shifts while finishing up the afghan that Spencer's mom asked me a question. She had been trying to conceive again since she was already in her forties and wanted to know if I would be upset if she became pregnant before me. She knew of my desire to conceive and that so far it was unsuccessful. I told her that I would not be upset if she conceived before me and honestly believed my answer. Little did I know I would soon find out at the end of that week that I was expecting. That little one was Phinehas.
Phinehas was born 2 days before my birthday. He was due early June. He was my only hospital birth. My longest delivery, and my second smallest baby. We made some fatal errors in sharing what his name was to be and received many comments on how bad of a name it was. None the less it was a strong biblical name and one that God had laid on our hearts.
Phinehas is so special to us and is the reason why we have all of our other children. Our experience with everything involving his birth, made us desire more children. Although now, Phinehas is developmentally delayed and suffering from Autism he remains to be our biggest blessing, and our biggest challenge. He is difficult at times to care for b/c of his lack of understanding. He has increased our patience and need to be unconditional loving and forgiving. In fact God has used Phinehas to challenge us spiritually in so many ways that with out him we would not be the believers we are today.
The name Phinehas is from Numbers 25:7 A righteous act done by Phinehas high priest turned God's heart back to the Israelite people. Caleb was also the name of one of the two good spies. Phinehas means: face of piety and mouth of brass, Caleb means: bold and courageous.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.
You may wonder why I am convinced the immunizations played a role in his acquiring autism. Well he was progressing like a child of 18 months would. Then he received his final round of immunizations and a change in development and cognitive interaction became very noticeable. Other people began pointing it out and some even started to reject him. At the time that concerns were coming to our attention, I was in my third trimester with our 3rd son Ezra. It was also at this point that we became concerned for our second son as well who was also progressing and then began to regress after his final round of shots.
After Ezra was a few months old we decided he was not going to receive any shots and to our surprise he has developed normally. We didn't find out till later that if in fact you have one child affected by immunizations you most likely will have others also. That began our decision to postpone all shots until a later age. It seemed to dangerous physically for our children to receive the shots at such a young age. None of our other children have had any signs of having autism. All are very healthy and developing normally.
Phinehas, however different and unique plays such a intricate roll in our family. Although he has problems understanding he interacts with everyone in a very loving way. See Phinehas is a huger. He loves to show his affection. Interestingly though,most autistic children do not like to be touched or hugged. Rarely does Phinehas smile on camera, he is a very happy and pleasant child. All of his siblings enjoy him and especially challenge him to interact.
Phinehas has become such a wonderful blessing to our family. If God choose to heal him today what a blessing that would be. If God allows Phinehas to receive healing another was that would also be a blessing. But if it is God's plan for Phinehas to remain autistic until he takes him home, that would also be a blessing. A blessing b/c Phinehas although being our hardest and most frustrating child, is also our most affectionate child as well. He has blessed us with his love and tenderness and innocence of heart that it has left us as his parents, desiring more.
Thank you dear God for Phinehas Caleb.
Let me go back a year or so before Phinehas was born. I had been a nanny for a couple for several years. My two little children I cared for had moved away in May of 1997. At the beginning of the year my dh and I had decided to start "trying" to conceive. I was somewhat confused why we still had not been able to conceive. Still trusting in God and hoping he would bless my womb. My dh and I took a trip to England to visit some friends. A much needed vacation and kind of like a post-pone honeymoon. Shortly after our arrival home it was clear to me we were now in our ninth month of infertility. I started to become disappointed and somewhat bitter why God would not bless my womb. My dh Phil reminded me of one of his aunts. His aunt Kathy had also struggled with infertility. She also began to get embittered with God as to why she could not conceive. God revealed to her and she shared this with my husband some years later. God revealed to her that she needed to be thankful and completely trust Him. Holding on her bitterness only made her more stressed and worried about something she could not control. Her only option was to totally put her faith in Jesus. She began to do this and little did she know while God was changing her heart he was also preparing her for motherhood. At that very moment while aunt Kathy's heart began to transform into what God wanted it to be, her first son was being knit in her womb. She was unaware as most 1st time mothers are until a short time later. Her heart was overjoyed at the news but even more so knowing her heart had changed toward the Lord before she knew his plans for her new family. Well aunt Kathy was blessed 4 times all of her children were sons. Her and uncle Dale are now grandparents to 2 precious blessings.
After our vacation began temping as a nanny for a hiring out company. I started working for a family with one child, a new born baby boy. While I would familiarize my self with her son we would talk. We began a friendship that eventually lead to my being hired on permanently. I cared for her son and all the while still desiring my own.
September rolled around and my brother's Birthday was coming up fast. I wanted to make him an afghan but had work quickly. I began his afghan and finished it in 20 days. Pretty amazing since it was a queen size one. I work constantly on it while I cared for little Spencer and at home. It was during one of my shifts while finishing up the afghan that Spencer's mom asked me a question. She had been trying to conceive again since she was already in her forties and wanted to know if I would be upset if she became pregnant before me. She knew of my desire to conceive and that so far it was unsuccessful. I told her that I would not be upset if she conceived before me and honestly believed my answer. Little did I know I would soon find out at the end of that week that I was expecting. That little one was Phinehas.
Phinehas was born 2 days before my birthday. He was due early June. He was my only hospital birth. My longest delivery, and my second smallest baby. We made some fatal errors in sharing what his name was to be and received many comments on how bad of a name it was. None the less it was a strong biblical name and one that God had laid on our hearts.
Phinehas is so special to us and is the reason why we have all of our other children. Our experience with everything involving his birth, made us desire more children. Although now, Phinehas is developmentally delayed and suffering from Autism he remains to be our biggest blessing, and our biggest challenge. He is difficult at times to care for b/c of his lack of understanding. He has increased our patience and need to be unconditional loving and forgiving. In fact God has used Phinehas to challenge us spiritually in so many ways that with out him we would not be the believers we are today.
The name Phinehas is from Numbers 25:7 A righteous act done by Phinehas high priest turned God's heart back to the Israelite people. Caleb was also the name of one of the two good spies. Phinehas means: face of piety and mouth of brass, Caleb means: bold and courageous.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.
You may wonder why I am convinced the immunizations played a role in his acquiring autism. Well he was progressing like a child of 18 months would. Then he received his final round of immunizations and a change in development and cognitive interaction became very noticeable. Other people began pointing it out and some even started to reject him. At the time that concerns were coming to our attention, I was in my third trimester with our 3rd son Ezra. It was also at this point that we became concerned for our second son as well who was also progressing and then began to regress after his final round of shots.
After Ezra was a few months old we decided he was not going to receive any shots and to our surprise he has developed normally. We didn't find out till later that if in fact you have one child affected by immunizations you most likely will have others also. That began our decision to postpone all shots until a later age. It seemed to dangerous physically for our children to receive the shots at such a young age. None of our other children have had any signs of having autism. All are very healthy and developing normally.
Phinehas, however different and unique plays such a intricate roll in our family. Although he has problems understanding he interacts with everyone in a very loving way. See Phinehas is a huger. He loves to show his affection. Interestingly though,most autistic children do not like to be touched or hugged. Rarely does Phinehas smile on camera, he is a very happy and pleasant child. All of his siblings enjoy him and especially challenge him to interact.
Phinehas has become such a wonderful blessing to our family. If God choose to heal him today what a blessing that would be. If God allows Phinehas to receive healing another was that would also be a blessing. But if it is God's plan for Phinehas to remain autistic until he takes him home, that would also be a blessing. A blessing b/c Phinehas although being our hardest and most frustrating child, is also our most affectionate child as well. He has blessed us with his love and tenderness and innocence of heart that it has left us as his parents, desiring more.
Thank you dear God for Phinehas Caleb.
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